Reality
by Joy1
Summary: (Finished) Dawn needs an actual parent and Buffy isn't cutting it. Spike maybe the solution. Trust me...orginal look at the issue. This isn't a romance but there is becoming some slight S/B.
1. Reality

Title: Reality

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            They knew… They knew about her taking stuff… They sort of knew her pain, but it didn't change anything. Everything crystallized in her mind when Buffy was helping Willow through a particularly frustrating evening. Willow was aching to do a spell and Buffy knew it. They were in it together and crap like that. 

It was one simple statement, "Dawn I need you to take care of yourself tonight." That was all there was…one statement. Dawn made herself dinner and did her homework. As she lay on her bed she realized a basic truth, Joyce was supposed to be there. Buffy was supposed to physically protect her from harm but someone else was meant to look after her. Fighting to be seen as an adult melted away as she realized she desperately wanted someone to take care of her. 

Buffy was responsible for the world…not to be a mom. Buffy's life would be simpler and easier to handle if she wasn't there. For the first time in months, things made sense…anger wasn't the answer, stealing wasn't the answer, and pulling a 'look at me' act really wasn't it either. 

Dawn had to find someone who could care for her. The options when she thought them through were dismal…none of the Scoobies except maybe Tara, her father, or going to social services. A creepy little voice at the back of her head suggested a long walk off a short bridge, but in the end she knew how much pain the death of their mother had caused and Dawn couldn't do that to Buffy. 

            A handwritten note was taped to Dawn's door later that evening when Buffy went to check on her. 

            _Dear Buffy,_

_                        Please don't worry. I needed to think some things through and here wasn't the best place. I'll be sure to check in with Tara or Spike tonight for a place to crash. I'll be at school tomorrow, you can check. I just need to be away for a bit. _

_                                    Love, Dawn_

            This was definitely not what Buffy needed that night. Coddling Willow was hard enough but running after a truant sister was worse. "Tara," Buffy questioned as she picked up the phone. 

            "Buffy?"

            "Is Dawn with you or has she called?" Buffy asked in a panic.

            "No… What's wrong?" Tara asked soothingly.

            "Dawn took off and left a note saying she would crash at your place or Spike's tonight…She needed to think things through… I don't know if I can face Spike now," the slayer admitted. "I don't know if I can go check to see if she's there and find out 1) she wants to stay or 2) she's not there and I want to stay."

            "You stay put… I'll find her. She may just come home," Tara offered. 

            "Thanks Tara," Buffy tried to calm her system. "Please call me when you find her…even if she's going to stay with you."

            "No problem."

            Tara arrived at Spike's crypt a little more worried then she expected mainly because of what Dawn had written. Dawn reacted to things; she didn't calmly think things through. She was a typical teenager. Dawn being off somewhere kicking rocks wasn't her style. Sneaking out & lying, that was very teenage, but not 'I need to think things through.'

            "Spike," she called into his crypt. 

            Spike stuck his head through the hole in the floor. "What's up Tinkerbell? Don't fancy you coming to see me?"

            "Is Dawn here?" Tara asked simply.

            "No…Why? What's Bit into now?" he said knitting his brow together. 

            "She left Buffy a note not to worry…She would stay with you or I tonight. But she needs to sort things out," Tara said as calmly as possible. 

            "Bit is out after dark and she might be coming here…as in through the cemetery. She developed her sister's death wish all of a sudden?" Spike spoke from his knotted gut.

            "Kind of why I'm worried too," she admitted. 

            "I'll have no tragic death scenes for my Nibblet!" Spike shouted grabbing his duster and left the crypt. 

            "Where are you going?" Tara asked.

            "The place I taught her to break into," he replied. "Go home and wait."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Dawn sat amongst all of Giles' musty books and tried to remember the ones they used to find out the prophecies about her. "If Giles were still here, I'd ask to live with him," Dawn groaned, "no matter how boring he was."

            She grabbed one and flipped through the pages and found a note Giles had stuck in the pages. 

_Dear Rupert,_

_            I did as you asked and looked into Hank Summers. Not a very remarkable fellow. Too much money for his own good, shuffles his life so full so that he doesn't notice what he's missing. I posed as a potential client with daughters. When I mentioned it to him and commented on the pictures of Buffy and Dawn, he smiled sadly and said they lived far from him. _

_            As for whether he could help the girls, I don't know. He seems genuinely concerned about them but seems to be too ashamed to make an effort. I think they would have to ask for help. Why he ducked the girls when their mother died I cannot fathom. By all accounts from our conversations he was in the country during the time. _

_            I haven't seen girlfriend or lover to speak of so I doubt that is the cause. I briefly mentioned this to Angel only to be received by growls and vampiric posturing. He did finally mumble that he had met the man and let him know that his former family didn't need him. I'm afraid Angel's words do have something to do with Mr. Summers' distance with his daughters._

_            If there is anything else please call, _

_                        Wesley_

            Dawn slumped onto the floor. She didn't even know her father. She certainly didn't want to leave Sunnydale, but she also had to admit it might be better all the way around if she did. Spike found her curled on the floor, letter in hand when he entered the Magic Box. 

            "Bit… Your sister's worried. Scared me too saying you going to come stay at my place where any vampire can drain you… What's up?" Spike asked cautiously. Dawn looked so frail and helpless.

            "I need someone to take care of me Spike. I can't depend on Buffy to be there for me. She's got to many things going on. She has to save the world every week. I can't expect her to make me dinner and help me with my homework too. I can't have mom, but I need someone…" Dawn said as strongly as she could despite the tears brimming in her eyes. "I think… I think its time I go live with Dad."

            Spike was floored. Dawn was his only true friend in town. He couldn't bear the thought. He sat down beside her, "Bit… You don't have to leave. We'll work something out. Tara and I can take turns being there when you get home from school and Xander and Anya can pitch in. When's Red's better we'll see if you two can be in the same room together."

            "That's my point… I don't need several 'sort of' parents. I need one strong one," Dawn said sitting squarely looking up at him. "All my notions of being treated like an adult went out the window tonight when Buffy asked me to take care of myself. It was like this rage just wanted to push through and scream, 'You take care of everyone else…who the hell takes care of me.'"

"I just need to face reality. She has too much on her plate. I'm too much. I need someone responsible for me and my welfare," she whispered. "I actually thought for a minute it would be easier to die so Buffy wouldn't have to worry about me…" Spike was petrified. She let out a self-deprecating laugh, "Like that wouldn't just kill her. I can't do that to her…But I can't keep pretending that everything is all right."

Spike soaked up the words slowly. "We… We need to call Buffy Nibblet. If you don't want to go home tonight you can stay with me or Tara," he pushed up on his feet. "Don't run out on me now. I'll be right back … and we'll figure something out." She nodded curtly. 

Spike called Tara first, trying to figure out what to say to Buffy. "Luv, she's at the Magic Box with me. This is serious though. She's talking about living with Hank and mentioned thinking of committing suicide, which to me does not seem mutually exclusive," Spike said as he swallowed. 

"She always acted like she hated her dad, like she never wanted to leave Sunnydale," Tara commented. 

"She seems past her wits end… Tara, she used to sleep with the Bot for comfort this summer. She told me so…she has the same look of desperation in her eyes. Dawn sees herself as in the way," he said very concerned.

"My younger brother went through this when my mother died. He felt like he was always underfoot… Have you let Buffy know you found Dawn?" 

"No pet… The way Dawn's talking its like she's afraid of causing her any more pain and she knows this will so…" Spike left off

"She took off," Tara finished. "Call Buffy and let her know. I'll go over to be with her. Dawn will stay with you tonight?"

"Right… I just realized something. If Bit leaves, I leave too. My promise is to protect Dawn, not Buffy. This feels weird," he said dumbly. 

"I know… Talk to you tomorrow," Tara answered. 

"Tomorrow."

            Spike picked the phone back up and dialed Buffy. "Dawn," Buffy's voice said frantically. 

            "No luv…" 

            "Spike I don't have time…"

            "I know. She's with me. She's safe," Spike said simply.

            "Oh thank God…Do you want me to come get her or will you walk her home?"

            Spike closed his eyes and grit his teeth at the pain he was about to cause his love. "Neither pet. Dawn's staying with me tonight. Tara's on her way over to see you."

            "What are you talking about?" Buffy said in anger. "You can't keep my sister from me!"

            "I'm going to have to if you don't want her to hitch a ride to LA to stay with your dad or go to social services for placement. Just stay calm and wait to talk to Tara." Spike heard Buffy crying on the other end of the phone. "My promise still stands Buffy. I will protect her till the end of time."

            "What are you saying?" Buffy whimpered. 

            "I'm saying I'll go with LilBit to LA if need be…"

TBC….?


	2. Choices

Title: Choices

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            "What are you saying?" Buffy pushed out. Spike couldn't actually be thinking of leaving. 

            "I'm saying I'll go with LilBit to LA if need be…" Spike ground out with pain. Dawn started to climb down the latter in the Magic Box to hear better the conversation at least on Spike's end. Buffy cried on the other end of the phone. "I love you, Buffy…but that doesn't matter now does it? You'll never see that as real…and Dawn really needs something stable… Maybe it would be best if she lived with your dad. I could bring her home on weekends…"

            "I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you…" Buffy whimpered. 

            "Buffy, don't cry. If there's a way to keep her here we'll find it…but she's just a kid."

            Buffy's anger welled inside her, "I was just a kid at her age when I got this gig."

            Spike snarled, "You also had a mum and dad in the same town, people who could keep a roof over your head and a bloody watcher to catch you in the vamp realm. What has Dawn got? A mum that died six months after she became a human, a dad that is MIA, a sister just back from the dead trying to keep her head above water between slaying and working, not to mention the ram shackle team of baby-faced twenties that can barely feed themselves let alone help a teenager. You want to pissed at the raw deal you got go a head but when you needed to feel safe and cared for as a teen you had it, even if you didn't appreciate it."

            Dawn stood and stared at the back of Spike's head during his railing on Buffy. He got it…someone actually got it. 

            "Look pet… Tara has been mum to her siblings. That's the only reason social services didn't take Dawn while you were dead, but Tara's not Dawn's family," Spike said more calmly. 

            "What about you Spike?" Buffy said meekly.

            "What about me pet?" he groaned having not a clue where this was going.

            "From what I understand you were Dawn's dad this summer…nighttime parent while Tara was her daytime parent," Buffy said quietly. 

            "What does that have to do with anything?" 

            "You said we'd find a way to keep her… You could be that way," Buffy whispered.

            "I'm sorry luv…I can't hear that from you. It's not fair. Dawn will stay with me tonight. You talk things over with Tara and I will talk to you later… I may not call you on your manipulation of my love often, but I won't have you twisting it when it comes to Dawn," Spike growled.

            "That's not…" was all Buffy got out as the phone clicked off.

            Dawn stood at the base of the latter when Spike turned around. She looked at him sternly, "Something has been going on with Buffy and you for a couple months now… Maybe I should be mad at you too for keeping her from being home for me?"

            Spike closed his eyes, "Maybe you should. Maybe I'm the thing in this scenario that needs to change or leave…" He sighed and sat on an available chair. "I'm sorry…"

            "You were my closest friend then you dropped me when Buffy woke up," Dawn said with brimming anger. 

            "That's only partly true," Spike stated quickly. 

            Dawn swallowed a few times before speaking again. "You would go with me to LA if I left?"

            "I promised, didn't I?" he said through gritted teeth. "It's not like there's anything for me here but you."

            "That's not true…There's Buffy and the Scoobies," she said in her very teenage way.

            "Pet, I will never have Buffy and the second I'm out of her good graces I'm out of theirs."

            Dawn rocked back on her heals, "What was it that Buffy said that you said she was twisting your love over?"

            Spike wracked his fingers through his hair a few times and then ran his hands over his face. "Ya know you Summers women are great at tying me in knots?"

            "You didn't answer the question."

            He sighed, "She said I might be the answer to keeping you here. I don't know what that means but the way she said it…"

            "What?" Dawn asked curiously.

            "I can't Dawn," he shook his head.

            "You can't be the thing that keeps me here?" she asked.

            "No…" Spike groaned. "I can't tell you what I thought… I can't put a thought like that about your sister in your head."

            "You mean the thought that she would seduce you or beat you or torture you by both physical and sexual ways to get what she wants," Dawn said completely dead pan. "I know my sister better then you think I do."

            Spike just stared at her in silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            The short knock on the front door brought Buffy out of her reverie. She had just been staring at the wall until Tara arrived. Buffy stood and looked into her blond friend's face. She opened the door, received a short hug and then went back over to the couch.

            "They're both leaving," Buffy muttered.

            Tara didn't pretend she didn't understand. "That hasn't been decided."

            "Am I being selfish by keeping her here?" Buffy looked at Tara with puffy eyes. "Is it wrong for me to want to protect her?"

            Tara stroked her hair, "No Buffy… but you need help, and more help then is at your disposal right now." Buffy just stared at the wall. "Dawn could have hurt herself again or stolen something else…at least now you know. Finding my little brother on the bathroom floor O.D.ed on meds was not the way I wanted to find out I wasn't cutting it."

            Buffy's eyes flew to Tara's face, "What?"

            "Oh he survived and things had to change at home… I would have rather things not gotten that far. I guess you can be thankful that for a few minutes tonight she became an adult enough to ask for help rather then doing something that could have permanently injured her."

            Buffy began to cry again, "Be thankful I didn't drive my sister to kill herself? Great."

            "That's not what I said…" Tara said sternly to get Buffy focused back on the problem at hand. "What do you want to do? We can call social services and see about getting you guys on welfare."

            Buffy blanched, "That would mean people snooping around and maybe taking Dawn away."

            "Buffy… She hates your dad and is thinking of going there. Things aren't good," Tara stated clearly. The slayer swallowed. "What do you see as the biggest needs you have in caring for Dawn?"

            "Not spending the night with Spike…" she groaned. Tara rolled her eyes. "I need money to keep the house going, Willow to pay rent and help with bills, and my dad to send us more money each month to keep us afloat. Maybe if I didn't have to work I could be home more."

            "The home more is going to be a big part of helping Dawn," Tara interjected. "The money stuff is important, but actually being here for Dawn will be the part that makes her feel safe and loved."

            "I have to patrol," Buffy groaned. 

            "Spike and you can trade off nights to patrol and stay home with Dawn," the witch challenged. "But that would mean you would have to treat him like a person and he would have a say in how Dawn was raised."

            Buffy sighed and flopped back on the couch. "I think I already blew that option out of the water about a million times now."

            "Then maybe its time to put the Spike addiction on the table and allowed Spike to be a person instead of a thing you use," Tara said firmly.

            "Do I have to?" Buffy moaned pathetically not ready to face facts.

            "Do you want to keep your sister?" was the answer she got. 


	3. Life

Title: Life

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

A/N: Hank Summers is not a good guy in this situation. In chapter one it shows he's a coward. I wasn't depicting him in any other manner. 

            Buffy sat on her couch clutching her knees. This couldn't be happening. Loving Dawn was the only thing that kept her grounded to this world. "Ya and sleeping with Spike's the only thing that makes me feel alive," Buffy said to herself. 

Tara looked at her sternly. "What were you just thinking?"

"Nothing important," Buffy huffed. 

"Spill," the blonde witch said simply.

Buffy sighed, "I was thinking if Dawn left- Loving her is the only thing keeping grounded to this world."

"But then you had to admit that Spike makes you feel alive," Tara observed. 

"Ya…but this isn't about me, is it? This is about doing what's best for my sister, however much I hate what ever the solution will be," Buffy groaned.

Tara decided to suggest the most painful thing first. "Dawn's spring break is coming up soon. Why not have her spend it in LA with Spike and see how she likes it there. Who knows she might realize he'll be gone even in the same house? Spike can be there to keep her company if your dad isn't around and protect her from the beasties in the area."

Buffy blanched. As much as she hated to admit it, she didn't think she could handle not seeing Spike for a week. It wasn't about the sex, but he was her outlet to vent about so much. Dawn being gone too would mean Buffy would have to live for herself for the first time since she got back. Without Spike there to remind her that life was a good thing Buffy wasn't sure that being alone was good for her. 

She swallowed and blinked back tears, "I…I don't know if I can have them be gone for that long."

Tara patted Buffy's back, "You'll get up and go to work. You'll patrol and you'll have good time with your friends."

"I can't remember the last time I had a good time with my friends Tara. By the end of the week I'll be going to Spike's kitten poker games," Buffy said pathetically. Tara looked at her like she was nuts. "They don't play for money, they play for kittens and I don't know why, but…" Tara gave her this look. "What?"

"This isn't about Spike Buffy," Tara reminded her. "If all you're worried about is Spike's absence while Dawn is gone then its probably better if they both left." Buffy started to cry. "Look Buffy… If Spike is this evil thing that you can't love then let him love Dawn enough to do what is right for her. But if your just going to constantly use him then tell him how awful he is what else can you expect from him but awful things… He's already set the bar in this realm; if she goes, he goes. You seemed to think it was good and noble of me to leave the one I loved for the sake of her well-being. Spike is willing to leave you for the sake of Dawn's…I think that's noble."

"You're taking his side!" Buffy stood up and yelled. "You're supposed to be my friend and stick up for me…and not judge me… you didn't judge me before."

Tara stood as well, "Buffy, all I'm saying is it's like you need Spike to be evil, really evil, so that you can deny what he feels for you and so you can justify the way you've beaten on him and used him. If you let him be even the littlest bit good or human then maybe you're doing something wrong… Well guess what Buffy? You are doing something wrong. Your sister is paying for it, you're paying for it, and so is Spike." Buffy stood there stone-faced. "Would you like to get back to Dawn and Spike's hiatus from Sunnydale?" Buffy flung herself back on the sofa in defeat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "So what ya think Buffy's really mad at me?" Dawn said from Spike's bed in his crypt. 

            Spike lay on the floor between Dawn and the ladder so if anything wanted to get at her they would have to come through him first. "I don't think so Bit. I think she's just pained to think you're planning on leaving… You're all she loves in this world. That's the way it's been since your mum died."

            "That's not true… She loves the Scoobies," Dawn groaned.

            "Only partially pet. Buffy made it very clear before we fought Glory that she would not kill you to save the world…It wasn't an option, even if that meant the apocalypse. Even if you would die anyway, the last image she wanted you to see was her protecting you… She would rather have everyone of the Scoobies die then have you hurt. I think that says something about her love for you verses them," Spike explained.

            "Then why the hell are things the way they are?" Dawn argued sitting up in bed. 

            Spike got off the floor and sat next to her. "Because being dead isn't easy… especially when you were finished. After all the hell on earth she went through, Buffy was done. Being brought back against her will…that's more then you can comprehend. Trying to be around the people who brought her back was really hard. Being around you…being responsible for you…that was hard to, not because she didn't love you with everything that she is."

            "So she doesn't want me!" Dawn felt vindicated that someone finally said it. 

            "In one way no, she doesn't want to be a mom. But on the other hand she would do anything to keep you," Spike assured her.

            "I guess I kind of know how she treats you: She wants you so badly it hurts but makes you feel worthless by not wanting to be with you," Dawn said calmly.

            It tore Spike up to hear her talk that way. "Buffy doesn't think you're worthless, luv."

            "That doesn't change the way it makes me feel, does it?" she said with big eyes, knowing she was getting through to him more then he wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "So Dawn and Spike would go visit my dad…and then we'll see what happens," Buffy said weakly. 

            "That way Dawn knows you've listen to her and its her choice," Tara said affirmingly. 

            "If she wants to come back Spike will move into help manage things," Buffy recited. "I hate this…" she groaned.

            "You hate what?" 

            "That I can't do it all. That I can't make it all better," the slayer said frustrated.

            "Tomorrow afternoon is when you have to convince them both things are going to change on your side. I'll be here to do the mediator thing…but Dawn's going to have to know what's up with you and Spike if this is going to work," Tara said smoothly.

            "I can't," Buffy stood and started to pace.

            "Not an option. I'm beginning to think that Spike has it right…the only way to get you to face the truth is to piss you off," the witch said definitely. Buffy turned in anger. "Good I've got your attention now. You have to tell her… The one part of this equation you're not factoring in is Willow."

            Buffy flopped back on the couch. "This just keeps getting worse."

            "Ah…" a voice from upstairs whimpered. Willow poked her head down. "I'm sorry… I came down when you started screaming," she grimaced looking apologetic. "I'm not sure what's going on, but it sounds like I'm not going to be much help."

            Buffy and Tara just looked at each other then Willow. "Dawn needs more attention then Buffy is able to give and right now that's not something you can give either. Spike would become the live in parent." Willow was about to object when Tara said, "This isn't your choice. You really aren't at a place where you can help make a decision." They faced off for a moment staring at each other, Tara never losing her footing. 

            "What can I do to help?" Willow said to Buffy.

            Tara looked at Buffy and smiled. "Go ahead."

            "It would be good if you paid rent while you're staying here. I know you're going through a lot so I'm not asking you to leave…" Buffy said when Willow interrupted.

            "But it would be easier to take care of Dawn if you didn't have to take care of me too," the red head said simply. "I didn't even think about the money thing…or the time thing." Willow looked at Tara. "Maybe I could get into a dorm at school…Might be good for me to stand on my own."

            "Willow you don't have to," Buffy said quickly. "We'll put Spike in the basement. Now that its been worked on we could make it inhabitable. Better then his crypt."

            "I'll still look into housing," Red said calmly. "When are you going to tell Xander?"

            Buffy blushed. "One thing at a time," Tara soothed Buffy rubbing her back again. 


	4. Morning

Title: Morning

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Tara arrived at Spike's crypt first thing in the morning to pick up the wayward teenager. Since she had never been in the lower section of Spike's crypt, she approached carefully for fear of traps. Tara climbed down the ladder slowly. When she hit the floor she saw Dawn still asleep in Spike's bed but no Spike.

            "Pixie," he said from under the ladder in the shadows. Tara jumped a foot. "Got to protect my bit," he ground out. "What does the slayer have to say for herself?"

            Tara cleared her throat. "Why don't I take Dawn back to my place to shower and change? I'll come back after I get her off to school."

            Spike grabbed her arm roughly when she moved toward the bed. "You wouldn't be thinking about taking her away from me, would you?" he snarled.

            She looked at him curiously. "What happened last night Spike?" she asked quietly. "Nothing's changed…We'll try to keep Dawn in Sunnydale. If not you'll both go to LA to stay with Buffy's dad." 

Spike was almost feral in his protection of Dawn. "She's not staying with Buffy one second longer," he growled.

Tara looked him over very concerned. "Seriously Spike what happened?"

He attempted to breath easier but he couldn't not at the thought that his LilBit was suffering the same contemptuous attitude that he had from Buffy. "Dawn doesn't need to be treated for one more second like she's this evil thing in the way."

"Are we talking about Dawn or you?" Tara asked quietly. Spike's blue eyes flashed yellow for a second. "Buffy had me look into why your chip doesn't work with her. I know what's been going on… We talked a lot last night. She's ready to put it all on the table for everyone. Willow found out last night… You aren't becoming the bad guy in this scenario."

All the anger that had been building inside him since Dawn suggested she understood his hurt with Buffy was diffused. "I don't understand," he said pathetically. 

"We formed a game plan last night. Buffy threw a temper tantrum that involved yelling about me taking your side which led to Willow coming to the stairs to listen. She heard most of the rest of the conversation which filled in some of her questions," the blond witch said simply. 

He was almost trembling, "You defended me?"

"Yeah Spike. I've only known you since you've been chipped. I don't have the hang ups of remembering all the ways you tried to kill me, because you never have. Plus I really think you've changed," she said sweetly. His breath caught in the back of his throat. "You can still be the Big Bad if you want to but it's probably in your best interest to let it go until we get this sorted out with Dawn."

"So you aren't going to keep me out of the mix?" Spike pled. 

"No… You will be a huge part of any decision made," Tara said simply. She turned back to the sleeping teen that was now waking at the sound of voices. 

"Thank you," Spike whispered from behind her. 

"Your welcome," she answered not facing him knowing he wouldn't look at her anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Tara was waiting outside Dawn's school at the end of the day. "Hey there," Dawn smiled. "Dropped off and picked up. Such attention!"

            The witch chuckled. "We'll go back to my place until just before sunset, when we'll go pick up Spike… I'll leave the two of you to talk and stay calm and not work each other up again."

            "Again?" the brunette asked.

            "This morning Spike was more then a little…high strung. Do me a favor? Listen to what Buffy and I have come up with before you go nuts or have Spike go nuts for you," Tara said soothingly as she wrapped an arm around Dawn.

            "I still don't know what you mean about Spike," the teen said completely confused. 

            Tara eyed her a couple of times. "Spike was overly identifying with you. I don't think that just happened out of the blue." 

            Dawn blanched, "Why? What'd he say?"

            The chuckle Tara emitted broke the tension a bit, "Don't worry Dawn. I know you see Spike is a beaten puppy by your sister. I think you might have drawn a correlation between you and he when it came to Buffy that sort of made him…feral."

            "I'm sorry… It's just she doesn't want me, but she does, just like Spike," the teen said as they walked toward Tara's apartment. 

            "Did you say that to Spike?" 

            "Ya," Dawn swallowed.

            "Oh honey…There's a lot of stuff you don't know about Spike and Buffy, a lot of hurtful stuff," Tara stated clutching Dawn closer to her body. "I'll let Spike or Buffy explain things to you in whatever detail they feel is appropriate."

            Dawn stopped walking. "Why don't you tell me since you aren't one of the injured parties?"

            "You sound like a lawyer," Tara answered.

            "If it gets the job done," the brunette replied. 

            Tara could see Dawn would not be swayed from the conversation. "All right but this is very one sided, well sort of… Buffy and Spike were…well…in a severely dysfunctional relationship." Dawn tapped her foot knowing that wasn't the important part. "Basically every time they…" Dawn raised her eyebrows. "Well every time Buffy would run off afterwards telling Spike how evil and awful he was when he wanted to actually date her."

            "I understand the evil and awful because of the whole Angel thing but…" Dawn said trying to make the pieces fit together.

"Spike's chip doesn't recognize Buffy as human so he can hurt her," Tara filled in. 

Dawn's eyes went big, "But he hasn't. He wouldn't."

"Dawnie… He's a vampire…" Tara began to say.

"I don't want to hear that speech. Whatever pain he caused her I'm sure she deserved it," the teenager fumed.

"I wasn't done… Vampires like certain things when they well…ya know," the blond witch blushed. "This is harder then I thought… Spike likes rough sex Dawn… I said that out loud."

"So Buffy thinks Spike's disgusting because of what he likes in bed, but she keeps doing it with him?" Dawn said frustrated. 

"That's why Buffy's been so out of it. She can't figure out why she keeps going back. She basically admits she is using Spike and that she likes it rough…that's why Spike's been so beaten up lately," Tara explained.

"I'm going to kill her," the brunette spat angrily. 

Tara put a hand on each of the teen's shoulders, "I don't know why Buffy's doing what she's doing, but neither does she… So when you said to Spike that Buffy wanted you but didn't want you that hit something very pained in him. See Buffy will use his body but won't let him be loving to her. Her rejection of him is absolute every time. He can only imagine what that would feel like as a sister… I'm assuming that's why he was freaking out this morning." They started to walk again. "However mad you are with Buffy please let her try to explain things. It took her a long time to admit she was doing anything wrong because Spike's a vampire. Don't push her into defense mode. That will just end badly."

Dawn clenched her jaw a few times. "She's been leaving me to go f…" Dawn didn't get the word out because of Tara's glare. "Screw Spike. She would stay out till all hours beating on him and then leave him telling him **_he_** was the monster. Am I clear?"

The blond sighed, "But Dawn you have no idea how she wept in my lap for what she was doing. Give her a chance… Both of you give her a chance."

"I want to go see Spike now!" Dawn demanded. 

"All right."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Spike woke to the sound of someone bounding down his ladder. He blinked once before the teenage girl cast herself on him bodily hugging him for all he was worth. Tara climbed down slowly. "What's up Nibblet? Need me sleep before seeing your sis tonight," Spike said in broken English sitting up holding Dawn to him. 

She began to cry. Spike looked to Tara for guidance. Tara just smiled briefly and mouthed, "She knows."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…I shouldn't have said what I said. I didn't know," the teen blubbered. "I want to make her hurt for what she's done to you."

Spike just gaped at the little girl in his arms. He opened and closed his mouth a few times in shock before he finally shook it off. "LilBit…This isn't about me and Buffy. This is about making sure you're cared for good and proper," he said looking her in the eye. "Let me be mad at Buffy for what's happened with us."

"You're allowed to be mad at Buffy for what's happened with me and her. Why can't I be mad at her for your stuff?" Dawn argued.

Spike looked from the incredulous teenager to Tara. "Hey, she's be pulling a lawyer imitation since we left her school."

"Thus being how she even knows," he said sarcastically.

"Ah…Yeah…" the white witch answered. 

"Bit you have enough to worry about without taking on my junk…Now I promise to talk to Buffy about our junk one more time if you'll give your sister a chance," Spike said diplomatically. 

"Yeah well…I have to…Tara says so," Dawn slightly pouted.

"All right…Enough with the pity party you two. Buffy's got a lot to say to both of you… She was planning on laying the situation with Spike on the table for you Dawn," Tara said simply.

"I'm still not clear why she would do that," Spike inquired. 

"Hey, Buffy's going to do her own talking tonight. I'm not going to steal her thunder, especially since it's so hard for her to do," Tara explained. "Ya want to just stay here and hang out with Spike?" Dawn nodded. "Okay… I'm going to your sister's. Now both of you behave and don't attack her and things might end fairly well."

"I'm still not con…" Spike began to say.

"Spike…Be the grown up. This isn't about you!" Tara snapped at him. Both blonds looked at each other in shock. "I'm sorry. I just… Please trust me. Just trust me. If you come in willing to listen rather then jump all over her, things will go much better. Don't raise to her baits and I'll do my best to call her on it before things get out of hand."

"So…Tinkerbell does have some balls," Spike smirked.

"Obviously you've never seen the Disney version…Besides I've been balancing you and Buffy for the last day. I think I've proven myself quite well… now remember what I said," Tara answered.

Spike nodded and smiled. "See ya later Pixie."

"See ya."


	5. Confrontation

Title: Confrontation

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Buffy was pacing back and forth in her living room as the sun set. "Buffy, it's going to be okay… You'll talk, they'll listen," Tara said simply.

            "I doubt that. Spike is just going to love this whole thing…I'm the bad guy in this situation. I can just see him smirk," she growled. Tara gave her the evil eye. "What?"

            "Expect evil, taunt him, you get evil. Give him the benefit of the doubt and things will go smoother," Tara soothed.

            "How can you be so sure?" the slayer sat down next to her on the couch. 

            "Because I gave him the same speech. Even if he doesn't respect what you have to say he does respect me," the blond witch said flatly. 

            Buffy began to pout. "This is a Buffy intervention isn't?"

            "Huh?" 

            "Nothing… I just get the feeling they're going to come in with this untied front and I'm going to be talking to a stone wall."

            Tara shook her head, "Or they could come in holding hands reminding each other why they love you so much and not let you bait them into an argument."

            "I don't do that," Buffy snapped.

            "Right… And I'm straight and yell quite often," Tara replied. "You function best angry. You prefer to fight because it's in your blood. If you stop to listen you might actually feel something that hurts… That's how you got into this mess. So lets go back to the plan that when you get flustered you don't have to look them in the eye and you can sip on water until you get your thoughts together so we don't have a war of words."

            "GRR…" Buffy growled. "I don't get this. I thought… I used to be good with the heartfelt talks."

            "Not since you got back, honey," Tara soothed. "Go answer the door. I just saw the fluttered of the black duster."

            Buffy swallowed and opened the door before Dawn and Spike could reach the step. Buffy locked eyes with Spike for a second. "You were waiting on us pet?" Spike asked devoid of all sarcasms and ego. 

            "Yeah…" she ventured. "Hey Dawn…" she tried to address her sister. Dawn wouldn't look up. 

            "Bit… Your sister said hello," Spike said turning around to look at the teen. Dawn's head shot up to stare at the vampire. 

Buffy swallowed realizing how much more respect Dawn had for Spike then for her. _"Guess I haven't done much to inspire respect recently,"_ Buffy thought.

"Hi Buffy," Dawn squeaked out. Spike wrapped an arm around Dawn leading her back into the house. A lot had changed between the three in the room in a twenty-four hour period. 

Spike and Dawn sat on the couch across from Buffy in one chair and Tara in another. Buffy had pieces of paper out on the coffee tables a long with several glasses of water in anticipation of becoming flustered. 

"Would you like something to drink?" Tara asked the two newcomers. 

"I ate before we came," Spike said quietly. "Bit, you want anything?" he asked the teen who was staring at her shoes. 

"Sure…Milk," Dawn managed. 

Tara smiled, "Be right back."

Buffy looked at Spike and Dawn then looked away as Spike glanced into her eyes. Dawn continued to stare at the floor knowing that she wouldn't be able to deal with her anger with Buffy if she looked into her sister's face. As long as Buffy didn't verbal attack Spike, she was fairly certain she could hold her tongue. 

Dawn leaned her head on Spike's chest as they waited for Tara's return. Buffy looked back over at the two on her couch. Spike was soothing Dawn, his arm was around her; he was rubbing his hand up and down her arm, and speaking quietly into her ear. Spike was always good at that. Dawn got Spike's kindness, sincerity, and sweetness. It seemed now that she wasn't there to distract him; Spike could devote himself entirely to loving Dawn. Buffy swallowed tears realizing how jealous she was. She could have this tenderness if she would have looked at Spike the way Dawn did…as a man. 

Tara arrived just before Buffy got to the next thought in her brain, of maybe things could be different this time. The blond witch brought Buffy's attention back to the situation at hand. She screwed up with Dawn and now she had to fix it. Tara sat down looked at Buffy. "Go ahead Buffy."

Buffy's eyes flickered to the couch where she caught a brief bit of the sorrow in her sister's eyes that she hadn't been seeing for days on end. Immediately her arm shot out and grabbed for the first glass of water. "Buffy…" Tara gently prodded.

"Right…" Buffy glanced around guiltily. "Um…Dawn I know I haven't been around enough…for a while now. So I know you were saying you were thinking of going to stay with dad," she took another sip of water looking down. "I'm sorry it's gotten this bad…" She sighed. "If you want to go then why don't we see if you can see dad over your spring break as a trial run. Spike could go with you of course… I…I know if you leaves, he's going with you." Buffy's eyes drifted to Spike's with pain in them. "It serves me right to have you gone, since I've taken you for granted." Buffy was addressing Dawn but was looking at Spike.

Spike swallowed himself at the look in Buffy's eyes. She was so lost and scared. He wanted to sooth her and assure her things would work out but this time he didn't think so. "I'll probably invite Janice over to hear all the gossip," Buffy said causing a small smile to appear on Dawn's face for a second. Spike looked down to catch it when Buffy shocked him. "I think I'll end up playing kitten poker by the end of the week."

Dawn's brow furrowed. Her eyes met her sister's for the first time, "What?"

Spike cleared his throat. "That was a nice way of telling me that she would miss me too…without actually having to say the words."

Buffy shut her eyes in pain over the exchange, especially the last part. She wanted to get mad so bad, but Tara laid a hand over top of hers. "That was fair," the witch whispered. 

Buffy nodded. "If you want to come home… We've come up with a few possibilities," she said quietly. Dawn didn't say anything so Buffy continued on. "I'll always be here to get you off for school every morning. Tara or I will always be here to pick you up from school and bring you home. And every night, if Spike agrees, one of us will be out patrolling and the other will be here. If both of us are needed we'll find someone else to be here." 

Dawn remained expressionless. Buffy started downing more water. "I'm going to call dad for help. I've been letting pride get in the way of getting us the help we needed. I'm going to see if I could maybe get a job at the Magic Box again. That way if I need time off its cool while I can earn some money… No more random evening shifts. Daytime only, when you're at school." 

Spike rubbed Dawn's shoulder some more. "There is one other potential solution. I haven't talked to Spike about it yet. It would involve fixing up the basement so Spike could live here," Buffy said biting her lip. 

Dawn's head shot up and so did Spike's. "Why?!" Dawn stood defiantly, hostility rolling off her in great waves. 

Buffy gulped a few times before drinking more water. "Because… Well first…because be good at in and you love him…just let me…God this is hard… Dawnie, I know you're going to hate me for this but…I…I've been using Spike," she barely could get the words out. 

Spike clutched Dawn's hand who looked as if she was about to beat her sister. "Dawn sit down and let Buffy talk. This is very hard for her," Tara said swiftly. "Calm down."

Dawn now had no trouble looking at her sister because she didn't care if Buffy knew how angry she was. "Bit," Spike whispered, tugging her down. "We talked about this before. I can be mad about stuff with me and Buffy…You can't. I can take care of my own hurt without you taking it on yourself."

"You told her!" Buffy snapped incredulously. 

"Oh please! I could see how awful you treated him. He took care of me the whole summer. He made sure I was safe and looked after, even though it hurt him intensely every time he saw me. I was a constant reminder of how he had 'failed' but you…it hurts to be around me because you are reminded of the life you lost so you flee. Who do you think I would rather have at my side when the chips are down? Not the sister that died to protect the world, the vampire who's concerned about saving me and me only."

Buffy stood to face her sister, "I can't help the fact I got called… He has a choice, I don't."

"That's right…He has a choice and he chooses to do good, to protect people. That wasn't to impress you Buffy. You were dead. He did it because he wanted to. Now remind me again how much better you are then the soulless demon that loves me better then you ever could," Dawn growled.

Tara stood and so did Spike. "Enough," Tara snapped. "You sit!" she commanded Dawn. Spike tugged at her to sit back down. "You come with me," Tara instructed Buffy. 

The blonds walked into the kitchen. "I can't believe he did that!" Buffy snapped.

"He didn't. I did," Tara said coolly. "Dawn made a comment about understand what you were putting Spike through. She told him how hard it was to have you want her so bad it hurt but not want her at the same time. She said it made her feel worthless. Spike really believed by the way Dawn described it that you were treating her the way you treated him." 

Buffy blanched. _"How could he think I would be that cruel…because I was so cruel to him,"_ she thought.

Tara continued, "I asked her what she had said to him and put the pieces together. I told her that hurtful things had happened between you and he. I also was going to let you explain things but Dawn wanted to hear it from not one of the injured parties. I gave her a brief overview and she went directly to Spike who tried to explain that he was allowed to be mad at you for what happened."

Buffy began to cry. "That's it… I'm going to lose them both…Dawn won't believe I'm not trying to use Spike…She won't believe that I really think he'd be best one to be the parent. He is so much better at this then I am." She cried louder on Tara's shoulder.

Spike tried unsuccessfully to swallow until the urge to cry passed. "What's wrong?" Dawn asked from her perch on Spike's shoulder. 

"Your sis said something really nice about me," Spike whispered not trusting his voice.

"What'd she say," Dawn whispered back.

"She's crying because she's going to lose us… She was really believes I should… that I'd be good as the parent," he continued to whisper. 

Dawn looked at him with wide-eyes, "You believe her, don't you?"

"Why wouldn't I Bit? She was upset. She wasn't thinking about the fact I could hear her," he said simply.

"You don't know that…She could be using your love for me to get me out of her hair but still keep me around for appearance sake," Dawn said defiantly.

"Is that what you think?" Buffy gulped from the kitchen door. Tears stained her face and pain marred her beauty. Dawn's face wore a guilty expression. "God you really believe I'm that much of a monster that I don't want what's best for you."

Red-hot anger shot through Dawn's stomach. "Yes, I think you're that much of a monster. I think you would keep me just so you could play the martyr just a little more. I think you would use anyone or anything under the guise that's you're the slayer."

Buffy buckled in the doorway. Silent tears came down. Spike had had enough. "That's enough Nibblet. Your sister wants you to stay because she loves you, because you're all the family she has left."

Dawn turned on him, "That's right…she wants me because I'm her only family left. I remind her of mom. I'm what keeps her grounded in this world. Well guess what? That's too much responsibility. I don't want to be the thing that is keeping Buffy alive anymore. I don't want to be an excuse for her to exist. If she honestly has nothing else in the world then she needs to get a life, but I won't be her prop."

"Dawn," Tara said firmly.

"What? Everyone acts like she is perfect. Look at what she did to Spike. All he wanted to do was love her and look how she twisted it. I think it is perfectly fair for me to say I don't want to be responsible for my sister's sanity. I don't want to be the symbol of goodness and life that she's living for. That's not fair to me. At least when dad ignores me it's absolute. He doesn't pretend to want me then ignore me completely," Dawn unloaded. Buffy just sat on the floor and cried. "You've been using me like I was a thing…just like Spike. If we found out that the monks didn't give me a soul you would call me names too. You would tell me how you could never love me because I wasn't real since I didn't have a soul."

Buffy curled into a ball on the floor a sobbed. So much she had said and done in front of Dawn without thinking how it might hurt her. It never occurred to Buffy that Dawn might fear that what she said to Spike might apply to her too because of how she was made. Tara was on her knees with Buffy's head in her lap. "I'm the monster…I'm the monster," was all Buffy muttered over and over again. 

TBC….


	6. Sob

Title: Sobbing

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Buffy's pain was excruciating, worse then being punched or skewered. She had messed up so badly that she was about to lose everything she loved. Tara comforted her stroking her hair as she lay on the floor. "I'm sorry," Tara whispered. "I thought she'd listen. I thought we could work this out."

            The slayer sobbed deeply, "Before I came back things were better." She gulped, "You and Spike could have taken care of her, loved her, made her happy. Even that damn Bot was better then I've been," she cried. "I messed so much up by waking up."

            Spike ground his teeth as he stood next to Dawn who was glaring down at the puddle she made of her sister. "Dawn, I know you're mad and hurt, but you don't believe half the things you said. You said them just to be hurtful and hateful."

            Dawn looked him in the eye with absolute clarity, "I meant every bit of it, especially the last part… She won't love me if I don't have a soul. It's all that matters right Buffy? A soul is all the matters in how you feel and treat people. That pesky little soul is all that stands between you loving me and hating me."

            The blond vampire turned her attention back to him, "You are her sister. She will always love you."

            Dawn smirked almost evilly. "You're so sure. Why don't we find out? Come on it'll be fun. You've got to have some spell to test for a soul, right Tara?"

            Tara glared at the teen, something she couldn't ever fathom doing. "Stop torturing your sister!"

            "Why? Afraid I won't have a soul and you'll have to stake me?" Dawn considered her. 

            "Dawn stop…please," Buffy begged from the floor. "I don't need to know you have a soul to love you."

            The smirk returned, "But will you still love me when you **_know_** I don't have one." Dawn knew something they didn't and it was shining through. "I've been sneaking peaks at Giles' notes on what I am… He had several theories. One of them was I didn't have a soul, that when I died my energy would just return to the universe as it had been before." 

Dawn wickedly looked at her sister, "He did the spell to find out, before the whole tower incident. I think somewhere in the back of his mind he thought if you knew I didn't have a soul you would let me die to prevent the apocalypse. He knew you very well…but he actually loved me. He pushed but he never told you. I think he knew if you did kill your sister then he would have to face you were a monster. In the end it wouldn't have matter if you loved me or not, because you would kill me to save the world. You killed Angel to save the world. Would you have sacrificed me to save the world, maybe… Now we'll never know, will we?"

The bravado flared out as Dawn stared at her sister. "So come on Buffy… Ya still love me?"

Spike stared at Dawn. Why hadn't he seen it before? Every time she winced when Buffy mentioned the fact he was soulless. Ego much to think it was because she loved him. "Dawn…" he whispered. "We all still love you."

"Oh I know you love me. I don't doubt your love for one second. I don't doubt Tara's love for me either. I don't even doubt that Willow will still love me… But I severely doubt that Buffy will," Dawn said eyeing her sister like a predator about to feast on its prey. "So Buffy tell them all how you still love me…Tell them so we can get back to figuring out how to keep me here." The venom dripped from every syllable that she spoke.

Buffy shut her eyes and let the last of her tears fall. All of this started because of how she treated Spike and that was the only way it would get fixed. She breathed deeply and blinked a few times. "I do love you…but I know you won't believe that," Buffy said with conviction. "What I'm about to say hurts more then anything Dawn and I've only partially admitted this to myself so…" The teenager looked as if she could care less. "I… Being with Spike felt right because he understood me…but he wanted me to stay in the shadows, Dawnie. I kept shoving him further and further into the dark until I couldn't go any further." 

The slayer couldn't look at Spike during this time at all; she just had to focus on getting the words out to make her sister to understand. "I loved Angel and everyone told me over and over how wrong that was. And when he lost his soul, he ripped my heart out and shredded it. No matter what I do I can't put it back the way it was, I can't recover from that… I…I failed with Riley. I couldn't give him hardly anything of myself."

Dawn stared at her sister curiously. "Spike… Spike was everything I needed when I came back. He understood what it was like to die and be dead. He understood my need to fight, to be the slayer. And then…" she paused catching Spike glancing at her expectantly. "And then I kissed him…I initiated and it freaked me out. I couldn't do it again. I couldn't have my heart shredded Dawn. It had nothing to do with him having a soul… It was the fear that one day the chip wouldn't be there to leash his demon in and I'd have to kill him too… I just couldn't do it Dawnie."

Some of the teenager's hostility faded as Buffy spoke. "I said awful things…I said them in front of you. I shouldn't have… everything about my relationship with Spike was initiated by me. But I couldn't get the voices that said how bad this was out of my head. It was okay for me to spend tons of time with him and trust that he wouldn't hurt you or my friends but the second my heart was going to be hurt I thrashed out at him…and I think he'll admit he thrashed back." Spike nodded. "That doesn't excuse what I did or anything but I hope you at least understand…"

Dawn looked at her with a hard expression, "That doesn't explain why you kept going back, beating Spike, and then say all sorts of awful things to him once you got off."

Spike's eyes went big. "Nibblet!"

"Dawn!" Tara snapped at the same time. 

Buffy swallowed hanging her head in shame. "No it doesn't… That was when things were really bad…I guess they still are. It's part of the reason I'm so freaked about asking Spike to live here…" Buffy ground her teeth. "If he's here that means he's a person that I'll care about and he can hurt me. His opinion will matter and…and I won't be able to treat him like…a thing anymore." She couldn't raise her head to look at anyone in the room. "If he's in the house I can't use him anymore. Dawnie, that's the scariest thing in the world to me."

"Why?" Dawn asked quietly, far less angry then before. 

In the smallest whisper Buffy said, "Because then I'll actually have to think about what I feel for him."

Tara wrapped her arms around Buffy as she began to cry again. "I'm sorry," she whispered into the white witch's shoulder. Tara glanced pointedly at Dawn who sat unsure of what to do. 

Spike sat next to Dawn on the floor. "That's what you wanted you wanted her to admit the reason she didn't love me had nothing to do with the fact I don't have a soul. Go hold her."

"No," she whispered. "I can't…I don't believe her."

"Dawn she's telling the truth… She loves you. She gave you more in the last ten minutes then Riley got ever," Spike chastised her.

Dawn met his eyes briefly. "How can you keep forgiving her? How can you keep loving her after all she's done to you?"

"Pet, I love with my whole heart. I don't know how to love any other way, no matter what the pain," Spike answered sincerely. 

Dawn got closer to where Tara and Buffy sat on the floor. "I want to go visit dad just to prove to myself that you're better then he is," she plunged in. "By the time we get back I want a nice place for Spike to stay in basement. I want a cot set up down there so if I feel like being down there I can be… And I want you to hold a Scoobie meeting while we're gone letting everyone know that from here out any comment about Spike being soulless and evil isn't just a slam on him but on me too. I want you to tell them all what you did and what you're doing to rectify it. And so help me if Xander makes one crack at Spike when we get back I'll pack up and go to LA permanently."

"Pet…" Spike said from the floor. "I like arguing with the whelp. It would be nice to not be called a 'thing' all the time but I don't mind some banter. Your sis wouldn't be near as fun if she didn't bicker with me." Spike smiled a little at Buffy who tried to smile back. 

"Fine," Dawn said authoritatively. "No Spike as a 'thing' comments from here out from anyone."

"I can do that," Buffy squeaked. "We…we have a couple weeks until you would leave…We could all shop for stuff for Spike's room."

"Okay," Dawn went toward the stairs. "One last thing…I want Willow to stop being a slug. I want her to pay for rent, utilities and food. Other people have to pay for room and board, so should she."

"Already taken care of," Buffy said looking Dawn in the eye. "She also knows what I've been doing…but I'll still hold the meeting." Dawn looked at her curiously. "Are…are you staying?" 

"I haven't decided yet. Right now I feel like spending time with Spike, so I'm going to get out of my school clothes and see if he will take me to the Bronze," Dawn said calmly. 

The teenager breezed up the stairs leaving all the adults in the room in her wake. "God, how did mom deal with me?"

"Cautiously," Spike said quietly. "She picked her battles." Buffy stared at him through hooded eyes. "What? Your mum and I used to talk a lot. She would ask me questions about how much danger you were in and what she could do to help you feel not so alone."

"I…I didn't know that," Buffy muttered as she and Tara still sat on the floor. 

"There is a lot you don't know… I…I'll…" Spike said motioning to the stairs before he bounded up them.

"God that was awful," Buffy sniffled.

"But she's staying…she's completely taken on all of Spike's hurts, but she's staying," Tara said ruefully.

"Am I going to be able to do this?" the slayer asked. "I don't know if I can have him here and not want him or beat him into the ground."

"Maybe you and he need to establish ground rules for this arrangement," Tara suggested. 

Buffy leaned her head further onto Tara's shoulder, "Thank you…I don't know what I would have…this could have ended way worse then it did."

"Yeah well if you want I'll keep Dawn until her LA adventure. She doesn't strike me as wanting to be here without Spike right now," the witch ventured. 

"I guess I should go call my dad… Next part of the hard stuff," Buffy said as she stood up got her notes from the table again and headed for the phone.

"Hello…May I please speak to Hank Summers?" Buffy said into the phone. "I realize his on a business trip. I need a direct number I can reach him on… This is his daughter Buffy… I know he's very busy…Listen lady, my father skipped out on being here when my mother died, so now he's going to make up for it. Give me his direct number or so help me I will come to LA myself and make a real scene in front of your precious clients… Thank you." Buffy looked up after hanging up the phone to see Spike and Dawn staring at her. Spike smirked. Buffy smirked back. "What? The bastard gave us life…the least he can do is pay for it." 

Spike laughed. "See ya later Tinkerbell. Bye slayer. I'll get her home at a reasonable hour. I'll take the couch tonight."

Buffy nodded. Spike nodded back.

"Well, that went well," Tara smiled.

TBC…


	7. The Week

Title: The Week

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Buffy stood outside just after sunset waiting for Spike and his Desoto to arrive to pick up Dawn for their week's excursion to LA. Dawn had been alternating locations of accommodations since the confrontation. Sometimes Spike would spend the night, sometimes Dawn would stay at Tara's, and on the weekends Dawn stayed with friends from school. Buffy was on probation though it seemed only Tara and Spike noticed. Xander and Anya were heavily wrapped in themselves and didn't notice the change. Willow had been looking for a place to stay on campus and decided to join an addicts support group. It seemed to help but it also took up most of her time. 

            All conversations between the sisters had been short and to the point. Dawn had been living for this trip. She desperately wanted to get herself and Spike out of Buffy's grasp for a while, since Buffy was the source of all evil in the world in Dawn's mind. 

            The car pulled up with a duffle bag in the back and a vampire in the front. Spike got out of the car gazing at his slayer just standing there waiting for him to arrive. They had spent no time together alone since things came to a head with Dawn. Spike knew Dawn would see it as a betrayal so he kept his distance. 

            "Hi," Buffy said meekly. "Ya looking forward to getting out of Sunnyhell for a while?" 

            Spike saw the raw pain in her eyes and the tension in her body. He knew she wanted him to say no but he was looking forward to time away. Maybe by the time he got back he would have constructed enough walls around his heart to protect him from the small creature before him. "Buffy…" he muttered.

            "Sorry. Of course you're looking forward to a break," Buffy swallowed. "I guess… I guess when you get back we'll have to have that conversation we've both been avoiding."

            "What conversation is that, pet?" Spike stared at her curiously.

            Buffy sighed, "The one that has us lay down rules about sharing the same house, space, and responsibilities. The one about us being the grown ups."

            Spike held his tongue in regards to the fact that this was a trial visit at Hank's not a vacation. This trip was to see if Dawn liked it better in LA. "We'll see when we get back," he said stiffly. 

            "So where will you be staying?" Buffy asked looking at her feet.

            "Not sure… I called Peaches and told him I'd be in town so if he saw me not to stake me," the blond man said. He spoke quietly, "He offered to let me stay there…with him. I guess things change."

            Buffy glanced at Spike's body language he was completely uncomfortable. "Things do change…" she said through hooded eyes. They stared at each other for a long moment. There was a huge chasm between them that had nothing to do with Buffy as the Slayer or Spike as a vampire. It became to painful to look into Buffy's eyes any longer so Spike looked over her head to the door. "I'll see what's keeping Dawn."

            Tara had Dawn in the kitchen eating cookies they baked for her trip to the big city. The witch had seen Buffy and Spike trying to talk to one another and quickly steered Dawn clear of interrupting. "Hey Dawn…Spike's here," Buffy said simply. 

            Dawn smiled at the vampire's name. "Great… Cool spring break huh?" she said to Tara. "A trip to the city with a gorgeous older man," Dawn giggled and grabbed her bag. 

Buffy and Tara walked her out to the car. Dawn gave Tara a hug easily and a more stilted one to Buffy. "Call as soon as you get there okay?" Buffy pled. 

            "Sure enough luv," Spike responded after a short hug from each woman. "See you in a week."

            "Yeah…" Buffy answered sadly. 

The black car drove away leaving the blonds to look at one another. "Ready to face the firing squad?" Tara joked.

            "As ready as I'll ever be," Buffy sighed.

            "We don't have to be at the Magic Box for an hour or so why don't you practice on me one last time?" Tara offered.

            "Good plan," Buffy said pushing all the air out of her lungs. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "What's up Buff?" Xander asked. 

"Whose with Dawn?" Willow questioned quickly wondering why the blond pest wasn't among them. 

            Buffy breathed deeply. "Okay I'm going to say a lot and I want you to think and think hard before you open your mouth." With a warning like that Xander and Willow both knew to shut up. "Alright… I don't know if you've noticed but Dawn hasn't been spending a whole lot of time at home recently. Basically she's asked for a recount on parents." Buffy looked at Tara who smiled and nodded. 

            "Dawn has gone to LA to stay with my dad for a trial week. If she and he get along well and he's there for her more then I can be, she's staying," the slayer stated clearly. 

            "Wait…I'd didn't know anything about that," Willow protested. 

            "You know something about what's going on?" Xander barked.

            "I live there…I thought…" Willow began again.

            "I'm not done…" Buffy said.

            "We'll help Buff. We will. I don't want Dawn to live with the guy who's never been there for her," Xander chimed in. 

Anya glared, "I don't want to be the mother of a teenager right now Xander."

            "Look I don't want her staying with my dad either, but I'm not cutting it as a parent and Dawn needs someone to be the authority figure. She needs someone who can be there when she needs them not just between apocalypses… So, I think my dad is going to suck at this, but if he doesn't, she's gone… And if she leaves, Spike is leaving too. He's taken very seriously the promise he made to protect her. He's with her now… And Xander before you open your mouth about that, they are a great many more things I need to say. So keep quiet."

Xander nodded as Buffy continued. "I've decided that if Dawn wants to come home I will need more help then I have now. I have asked Spike I move into our house to be Dawn's parent." Xander's ears turned as rad as his face. "This was not an invitation by Spike, Xander. This was the best decision I can make under the circumstances. Spike is taking this very seriously and I want you too as well. Dawn loves Spike and Spike loves Dawn. He would die to protect her. My father would not… I can't ask any of you to give up your lives to be a parent and I have shown I can't cut it… So Spike will be moving into the basement of our house… One thing you can do for me Xander is help me set the room up without snide remarks or sarcastic comments."

            Buffy observed her friend who had set his jaw. "Since I've already pissed you off, I'll take it one step further…" Tara saw Buffy faltering. The witch's stare gave Buffy what she needed to continue. In a small voice she said, "I've been sleeping with Spike… using him, beating him." Xander looked ready to yell, "That is over and not necessarily because I chose to stop it… I kept going back. I was using him. He pretty much cut me off when everything went bad with Dawn. Spike chose Dawn over me."

            By now Xander was glaring, Willow was shocked, and Anya was mildly interested. "I'm telling you this because it is part of my promise to Dawn. If she's going to come home, you all have to know how manipulative I have been and what I'm doing to rectify it." Buffy swallowed as she got to the end of her confessional. "She wanted me to tell you all this so you would know that Spike was not the bad guy here."

"The last thing I need to tell you is big and makes the whole Spike thing make more sense…at least on Dawn's end. The monks didn't give Dawn a soul." Buffy let Willow and Xander gasp before continuing. "Apparently Giles knew and didn't say anything. Dawn found Giles's notes on the subject. She's been listening to me call Spike a soulless monster over and over again. She's taken it inside of her. Since I told Spike I couldn't love him nor could he really love me because he didn't have a soul, Dawn believes I can't love her. It caused her to form an internal bond with Spike. Every time one of us insulted Spike we were insulting her, because he is the most like her in 'composition' I guess. She made it very clear if either you or I, Xander, refer to Spike as a thing she's gone. So as you can see I have to beg you to be a bit more tolerant of him."

            "That's blackmail," Xander observed.

            "Xander, Spike told Dawn that he liked bickering with both of you," Tara added. "Dawn was just very clear that the term 'thing' was to be avoided. She is over identifying with Spike right now. Buffy's rejection of Spike was painful for Dawn not because she loves him but because she also feels rejected by Buffy. She honestly believes Buffy can't love her without a soul."

            "Did she say anything about me?" Xander swallowed.

            "No," Tara responded. "She believed that Spike and I could still love her. She suggested that maybe Willow could but she made no reference to you or Anya in this arena." Xander looked relieved. "I don't think that's a good thing though… At first she swore if you made one crack at Spike at all she would leave. My guess is she thinks you will shun her as well."

            There was a long oppressive silence in the store. "Everyone's uncomfortable," Anya whined. 

            Willow turned to her, "We all love Dawn and it's hard to know she's so unhappy here. It's hard to know we were still missing it."

            "Yah but you guys are acting like it's a hardship to be nice to Spike. I know he's annoying but you don't treat me that way and I was doing evil way longer then he was," Anya stated in confusion. She stopped and thought hard for a minute. "To be honest its been hard at times to listen to you talk to Spike the way you do… Or like the way you dealt with Hallie's beauty. It was like I never existed before I became a Scooby."

There was another long period of silence. "So what I'm hearing is I have to be nice to Dead Boy because Dawn and Anya will get their feelings hurt if I don't? Am I clear on this?" Xander fumed. 

            Tara stepped in. "Xander, we trusted Spike as one of the team this summer. We trusted him with our lives and Dawn's life. Buffy coming back, and it suddenly nullified all of our trust somehow." She looked at Buffy briefly. "It was as like if Buffy hated him, we hated him. If Buffy was getting along with him, we were too."

            Willow stared at her hands and Xander breathed deeply. "So what would I do to help with Spike's room in the basement?" he finally said. 

            Tara smiled at Buffy, who breathed a sigh of relief. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "So pet? This is LA," Spike said to Dawn as they drove up to the Hyperion. "Lets go in and see Peaches. I figure if we stay, I can work with them. Still get in my rough and tumble."

            Dawn smiled, as they got closer to the door. "Fine, but I still don't like him."

            "You don't have to like him. But may I remind you, you don't like him because he hurt your sister, whom you don't like at the moment," Spike pointed out as they pushed through the front doors.

            "I may not like her but I love her. She is my sister," the teen said smoothly.

            "Now if you could only believe that was true in reverse," Spike said close to her. "Peaches!" he yelled. "I brought you a Key."

            Gunn looked at the blond vampire and pointed a crossbow at him. Dawn got bodily in front of Spike, who kept trying to move her. "Hey… You always treat invited guests this way or are you just prejudiced against people without souls, cause I know you can't have issues with vampires since you work for one," the teenager said before Angel came down with a smirk.

            "Now that is a Summers woman if I've ever heard one," Angel said smugly.

            "What the hell is going on?" Gunn asked quickly.

            "William the Bloody," Spike introduced himself. "Spike for short. One of Angelus' children from the vamp realm."

            "Once again…Why am I not shooting him?" 

            "Hey… You don't know him at all. It's real easy to 'things' when you don't know them at all," Dawn snarled.

            "Dawn," Spike said soothingly. "Your sister is the slayer. You know better then anyone not to trust a vampire. We are the exception to the rule, not the rule." Dawn grumpily nodded. "Go see if there's any blood in the fridge, would ya?" The teen headed for the kitchen.

            "Wow!" Angel muttered. "I know you said…"

            "Ya well. Now you know why I'm here with her rather then letting her be on her own," Spike responded. 

            Angel eyed him, "I can set up a room for her too if you want to play daddy."

            "Sorry you have a bad track record with Summers women at this age," Spike smirked back.

            "She is not," Angel's face fell. 

            "What are you two talking about?" Gunn poked his head in. 

            "Your employer fell in love with the Slayer, Dawn's older sister, at Dawn's age."

            "You fell for Buffy when she was fifteen? Sixteen?" Gunn asked shocked.

            "Nailed her on her seventeenth birthday," Spike said crudely.

            "I heard that!" Dawn piped up walking toward the group with a warm cup of blood for Spike. 

            "Thanks, pet," Spike said sweetly. 

            "I may be pissed at her but you aren't allowed to say junk like that, even if it is true," Dawn said simply. 

            Angel just opened his mouth a few times and gawked at her trying to comprehend the age thing. Dawn batted her eyelashes, "Don't get any ideas Dead Boy. No testing the moment of pure happiness clause on the other Summers' sister."

            Spike spit out his blood all over Angel's shirt laughing at the words that had just exited the teen's mouth. Angel who had been shocked soon recovered having been sprayed with Spike's dinner. "I think I'll change," Angel commented turning toward his room. Behind him Gunn was biting his knuckle to keep from laughing. "Spike, I have the muzzle we used on Dru when she got out of control downstairs if you want it."

            "Not necessary. Always on best behavior for me," Spike smiled brightly as Angel just rolled his eyes. 

            Dawn was glaring at the brooding vampire as he left the room. "Pet, you can't blame him for the comment. You did strike a very low blow," Spike said to her. She opened her mouth to argue. "I know you won't remember this but Buffy and Angel started out like Buffy and I are now, trading barb for barb. He was doing what came natural."

            "Fine! Call Buffy please," Dawn grumbled. 

            "Why don't you call her and tell her how you slammed Angel? She would love that," Spike smirked. 

            "Where's the phone?"

            "That's my girl."


	8. The Call

Title: The Call

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

A/N: This chapter is going to hurt to read. 

            "Hello," Buffy answered the phone at the magic shop. 

            "I made Spike split blood all over Angel…It was hysterical." Dawn's voice whisked through the phone happy and carefree. 

            Buffy smiled that her sister was actually excited to talk to her, "How'd you manage that?"

            "Angel was having trouble assimilating I'm the age you were when he fell for you. He looked like a guppy opening and closing his mouth… So I kind teased him about it," the teen weaseled.

            With a lighthearted tone the slayer asked, "What kind of teasing?"

            "Don't get mad…but I told him he wasn't getting a chance to try his happiness clause on me." Dawn took it as a good sign when Buffy gaffed on the other end. "Spike had blood in his mouth…no not mine…and did a spit take, spewing blood all over Angel's shirt and face. He's cleaning up now… I don't remember him and the sarcastic remarks."

            "Why? What'd he say?" Buffy inquired.

            "He told Spike he still had the muzzle they used on Druscilla when she got out of control," Dawn commented, leaving it there to hang between them.

            Buffy growled, "Not cool… Not cool at all. Teasing me fine…not my sister."

            "I had just taken a pot shot at him," Dawn sighed.         

            "Yeah but you're a teenager. He's over two hundred years old." The statement made Dawn smile. This was how it should be. Buffy and her laughing, not fighting. 

            "So how are things… in the last few hours since I left?" Dawn asked meekly.

            'At least she's trying to have a conversation with me,' Buffy thought. "I told them… All of it… Xander is calling the 'no picking on Spike' blackmail. But Tara smoothed things over quickly. He's already agreed to get the room up in working order. He's going to try Dawnie… Everyone is."

            "You never told me what happened with Dad and the money," Dawn asked quietly. 

            "It's different under different circumstances," Buffy tried to dodge.

            "Please tell me," the teen said simply.

            "Dad's going to pay off the mortgage and the property tax for the house which will be a big help. If you stay with him, I'll get money to supplement what I lost from mom's doctor's bills… basically the things from while I was dead…plus some money to get me on my feet. If you come home, we'll get a monthly stipend. He's got a college fund set up for you and me, so I won't have to worry about you being able to go to college," Buffy explained. 

            "So financially dad's dealing?" Dawn asked.

            "It took some yelling about who did he think was paying for everything and why the hell the child support would stop just cause mom died. I yelled at him some more about all of my saving having to be used to support us and we still weren't out of debt… I then called him a lousy father and a few other choice names for being completely absent from our lives when we needed him most. I went so far as to say that if he wouldn't help us out, I would go to an attorney to fight for what we were due. Lawyers got his attention!"

            "Why's dad like this?" the teen asked quietly. 

            "I don't know."

            "Are things going to be bad when I got there?"

            Buffy cringed, "I hope not… I don't think he'll hold it against you."

            There was silence for a long time while each sister thought. "You want to talk to Spike?" Dawn asked cautiously.

            This was huge step for Dawn and it wasn't lost on Buffy. Letting Buffy interact with Spike meant she was allowing her the option of possibly hurting him and hoped she wouldn't. "Yeah…I would… Thank you Dawnie."

            A very long pause signaled the lack of reciprocation. Spike didn't want to talk to her. He wasn't convinced she wouldn't drive nails into his heart through the phone. "Hello," his voice sounded gravely. 

            "Hi… You made it safely," the slayer said.

            "Yeah, even stayed under the cops radar."

            Buffy bit her lip not knowing what to say. Then it occurred to her…she had told her friends about them. Even in the past tense it was better then nothing. "I…" she stumbled. "I told them Spike…I told all of them. You didn't look like the bad guy. Tara was my witness to make sure I didn't chicken out… Xander freaked which I knew would happen but he's going to help me set up your room and…"

            "Pet… Please don't…" he whispered, in pain to hear how proud she was. How she was readying him a place in her home.

            "Don't work on the room?" she questioned.

            He knit his brow together and leaned on the desk in front of him. "Don't fix me a place in your life. Don't sound excited about doing it. It hurts too much… Fixing the room is about Dawn, not me. Please don't confuse that." Spike was right. 

Buffy by now had moved the phone to a side room so she could be alone. She sat down unsteadily. "What are you saying? You don't want to live here?"

Spike clenched his eyes shut. "If things had gone very differently- If you had told your friends about us because you didn't want to be your dirt little secret anymore. If you had said you felt something for me. If you had let me help you with money and Nibblet before Dawn got to thoughts of suicide, then yeah I'd want to move in. Now too many hurts have happened. I'm a solution to a problem…you're talking like I'm moving in with you. I'm not."

She was acting like this was just a progression in their relationship. Buffy sat crying for the first time truly about Spike. "I don't want to lose you," in no more then a whisper came through the phone. 

Spike slammed his fist on the desk in front of him crushing the wood beneath. Angel, Gunn, and Dawn's heads shot up at the cracking sound. "Buffy, you can't do that to me!" he screamed. "You can't tell me how much you don't want to lose me after all the crap you've pulled. You can't screw me one minute and toss me the next!" 

Angel's brow knit together and began to approach the office. Dawn put a hand in the middle of Angel's chest pushing him backwards. "Come on big boy. Let me explain what my sister's been up to," Dawn said tugging Angel away from the scene. This left Gunn in the lobby to watch the gesturing vampire rave in the office. 

Angel just glared. Dawn had been on the receiving end of this glare before…it was scary to be honest. "I'm not going to sugar coat this Angel. Buffy's been screwing Spike." The vampire snarled. "And I meant it in the order I said it. Buffy has been coming to Spike… When things got bad for me, when I said I was thinking of leaving, all Spike could think of was his promise to protect me. He loves Buffy but he would protect me. He cut things off with Buffy, wouldn't see her or talk to her at all." Angel still glared and snarled. "I'm assuming Buffy and he are having their 'break up' talk or at least their 'this is what I hate about you' talk."

"Buffy isn't like that she wouldn't do something…" Angel growled.

Dawn raised an eyebrow at him. "You left an eighteen year old Buffy. A lot has changed. Being pulled out of Heaven will do that to you… Buffy would do that, has done that in the past, and will manipulate in the future as well. I'm not the only one that needs a break from the slayer for sanity sake."

"Buffy, I'm away too because I need to be away. I need to be away from your games and your general manipulation. I can't do it anymore. I love you, but that doesn't matter… I could make a life here. I could work with Angel. I could still fight the bad guys…because I want to Buffy, not for you."

Buffy whimpered into the phone, "You're leaving like all the rest."

Spike screamed at the top of his lungs uncaring for whom else was around him as he put his fist through a wall. The growl became strong, "I will say this one time in the calmest tone I can muster… I'm not your Dad. I'm not Angel. I'm certainly not Captain Cardboard. You've never given me even the littlest crumb that you actually feel something for me. Of all of them, I have the most right to leave. I have no commitment from you to break. I have no words of love from you to trash. All I have are the harsh words you would say to me each time you left… I'm not like the rest because they got something of you. I got nothing of you."

Buffy had taken Spike's words until then, screaming back at him, not caring who heard her in the store where all the Scoobies were still gathered. "You didn't get any of me? Like hell you didn't. You are the one I've run to every time something bad has happened since I woke up. You're the one I went to when I needed to just be. You were the only one I told about heaven. You're the only one I trusted. You gave me something to live for. Bull- I didn't give you anything. I gave you everything I am now that I'm back in this place!"

Xander and Willow stopped their conversation to listen to Buffy yelling at Spike on the phone in the other room. "She loves him, doesn't she?" Willow tentatively asked Tara.

"She doesn't know how she feels about him at all. But she doesn't want to lose him. This is all the more painful for her because she's done everything she would have had to do to make things work with Spike, but she still doesn't have him," Tara said sorrowfully. 

"How did we miss this?" Willow asked.

"Buffy kept saying that Spike couldn't love, that it was a sick fascination. So that's how we all saw his behavior yet watching him with Dawn the last couple weeks, I know Buffy would have privately gotten that sort of affection from him if she would have let him," Tara answered.

"Let him?" Xander questioned.

"Buffy would beat on Spike until he would stop being sweet and would get rough," the blond witch explained.

"I don't think I wanted to know that."

Spike pressed his head against the wall and breathed deeply. He laid his palm against the wall touching it lightly. "You gave me everything you had in way of punishment too, pet. You gave me every insult, every bit of disgust. You gave me all the hate you have for yourself, for Angel, for Riley, for Giles, and for your Dad. But you never gave me your heart. I was never allowed to touch that. I was allowed to touch your body but even then I wasn't allowed to touch it softly. It had to be hard… and I gave you what you wanted…" Spike snorted, "You don't want me… I was just convenient. I know that now. If we come back, I'm not convenient any longer."

"You're not convenient. You never were," Buffy whispered. 

"Luv, please don't do this to me. Just let me have my week to regroup so when I get back it might be possible for me to sleep in the same house with you," he swallowed.

"By the time you get back you'll have surrounded your heart with fortified walls. There won't be any sweet Spike for me. There will only be loving Spike for Dawn," she whispered. 

He hit his hand against the wall. "Damn it Buffy! I tried to be sweet Spike for you. You pummeled him into the ground. I have more Buffy inflicted scars now then I have demon inflicted ones… Dawn gets all my love and all my gentleness because she wants it. She needs some softness in her life…" Buffy began to cry through the phone. "Don't do that!" Spike snapped. "I'm trying to stay above water now that I'm not drowning in you anymore. Don't bring me back under."

"Please Spike… Please don't close yourself off to me. This time I'll take the crumbs of what you can give me," she said unsteadily. 

Spike swallowed, "I'm going to hang up now… I can't keep letting you do this to me."

"No… Spike!" Buffy said into the phone just as she heard dial tone. 

Tara was just beyond the door to come in as Buffy sank to the floor and wept. 

Spike took shaky unneeded breaths as he slid down the wall to the floor. Dawn was next to him in a second. "This time you cry for Buffy and I hold you and pass you tissues," Dawn said drawing Spike's head to her lap. The vampire was ready to let bravado take over but realized that part of the parent thing was letting her in. Spike leaned on her and sobbed. "It's okay. We have a whole week together. We're not going to waste it on Buffy," the teenager said as she kissed his forehead. 

            Anya, Xander and Willow listened to Buffy cry. They had listened to her shout about all the things she had given of herself to Spike. And they heard her whimper about losing him. "Buffy really has feelings for him," Anya said wide-eyed. Buffy's high school chums just sat shocked listening to Buffy cry over Spike like she had over Riley and Angel, but more closely to Angel. 

            Angel and Gunn sat in the lobby of the Hyperion hearing Spike's sobs and the soothing words of Dawn comforting him. "So I'm guessing he was talking to your ex," Gunn ventured.

            "Something like that," Angel responded.

            "And you're not going to tear his head off?" Gunn asked.

            "Why? She's caused him more pain then I ever could." 


	9. Gone

Title: Gone

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

A/N: Apparently not Buffy friendly chapter. Please take Dawn's statements about her sister from a teen's perspective rather then an outside observer.

            Dawn bounded into the Hyperion early Tuesday morning having ridden by cab over to the hotel. Wesley eyed the teen suspiciously as she ran up the stairs toward 'Spike's room.' "Morning Dawn," Cordy called to her. The teen just waved. "How can one person have that much energy in the morning?" 

            "Magic…Literally," Wesley answered patching the wall in his office from Spike's temper tantrum while talking to Buffy. "I swear only that girl can bring this sort of angst into our lives."

            "Come on Wes. Spike's going to buy you a new desk. What else do you want? The man was in serious pain…" Gunn thought back on the scene. "You should have seen it. Angel's nostrils' flaring from what he was hearing, the kid being a smart ass, and then the fist through the wall. All because of the Slayer…God, I need to meet this girl."

            "No…" Cordy and Wes said in unison. 

            "So why do you think the kid is here so early this morning?" the demon hunter asked.

            "Dawn quit pulling," Spike's tired voice nagged. Spike's door opened with the blond vampire truly not awake, barely dressed, being shoved by the brunette behind him. "Nibblet, I'm going to bite you if you don't lay off."

            "You promised now get going. I can't help the fact you stayed up drinking with Angel… This is the whole dad thing you're working on remember. You make a commitment got to honor it for your kid's sake," Dawn explained continuing to shove. 

            "You stayed up drinking with Angel?" Cordelia asked.

            "Yeah," Spike said clearing his throat. "Scared the hell out of this mousy chick that ran upstairs." Spike pulled on his pants more fully and actually fixed his shirt. "I thought it was Nibblet so I turned to her in vamp form and asked for a kiss. Good God that woman can yell."

            Dawn swiftly smacked Spike's shoulder. "Don't be scaring people. Dad's 'at work' and you told me you'd take me to the Getty. Rainy Day…No sizzling issues." She said pushing him down the stairs. 

            "Dawn, I may be a vampire but shoving me at the top of the stairs has the same affect as a human," Spike griped from the heap he was on the floor.

            "Not likely. You could have grabbed the rail but you didn't," she glared at him. 

            "Whatever… Did you eat?"

            "Yes Ansel… Now can we get going," Dawn responded.

            "Ansel?" Wesley asked Spike. "I thought your first name was William."

            "It is, Nancy-boy. Ansel- As in Ansel Adams the photographer."

            "I don't want to know why…" Cordy mumbled. "Bloods in the fridge on the right," she said from her paper. 

            "Luv, I've been here since Friday night. Just because you weren't here to show me where things were doesn't mean I didn't figure it out," Spike hissed mugging his blood then heating it. "Why weren't you here yesterday?"

            "Holiday," Cordelia said not looking up from her reading. 

            "Eat…Cab… Art Museum…Chop Chop," Dawn instructed.

            "Cool it missy… Is there anywhere else you want to go to since we have this lovely dark day for me to move about in?" 

            "If I think of something—Arboretum," she answered.

            "Trees…you want to look at trees. The things they make stakes out of…" Spike said incredulously. 

            Her face broke out into a smile, "Got ya… I don't know what else I want to do, except maybe Disneyland but you already said the place was possessed by demons so…"

            Cordelia gave the vampire a hard look. "Take her to Downtown Disney so she can at least shop… Maybe I'll take you another day," she said sweetly to the teenager. 

            "You are really different then I remember you," Dawn said confusedly.

            "Why?"

            "You're being nice. Before you were always part of the gang grudgingly. That and you were the enemy while you were dating Xander because I had this major crush on him."

            Cordy smiled at the teen, "Well honey…you can have him." She whispered to Dawn, "Spike would make way more sense then Xander."

            "Eww… It's Spike. Gorgeous, yes but… He's like my big brother," the teen whispered back. 

            "Well have fun with the tan less wonder," Cordy smiled. 

Just then Angel shuffled into the kitchen. "I hate you!" he said to Spike next to him. "I swear you spiked my blood last night."

Spike laughed, "No…If you recall, you spiked your own blood with some 90 proof kiss-ass liquor you have stored under your bed in the box."

"The box… Is this the Buffy box?" Cordy asked innocently enough. 

"Man this girl screwed you both over so bad that you were crying, something I didn't believe vamps could do, and you have a Buffy box. God we should just have the girl let vamps fall for her then they'll stake themselves," Gunn suggested. 

A general 'Hey!' arose from Angel, Spike, and Dawn.

"So that you know it wasn't like that. Angel screwed Buffy over and left her. Then there was Riley who was human, but that was about all he had going for him. He also left cause he could handle the slayer thing. This time Buffy screwed Spike over and he left to take care of me… Of the three he's the only one who had the right to leave the way he did and we're even going back so…" Dawn ranted till Spike stopped her putting hands on both her shoulders. 

"Breathe. Breathe… Gunn's not going to understand Sunnyhell farms. He can't he's never lived there." 

"You're blaming our love for Buffy on the Hellmouth?" Angel asked.

"Partially," the blond responded.

Angel quirked his mouth, "No 'we're destined to be together' or crap like that?" 

"Hell no! It's like a disease crawling in my blood. Believe me, I've tried to quiet it. I think I sooner be giving up me beloved coat then be able to stop loving Buffy… Grr… Vacation…No Buffy talk," Spike growled. Angel continued to smirk. "What the hell are you looking at Peaches?" Spike barked.

"You're in love," he said plainly.

"What was the bleeding clue? The heart wrenching conversation that left me a puddle on the floor or fact I just said it!"

The souled one smiled, "Before I thought it was sick obsession thing… But nope this is pure 'you are the air that I breathe' love that you had with Dru… I'll be damned."

"You already are…" Spike growled. "No Buffy Talk. We're leaving." He said turning to Dawn, who had her sister's classic hand on hip pose. "Bloody Hell. What?" he whined. 

"You're running away from the problem," she snipped.

"Dawn…You, me on the floor…me balling…you said 'Whole week, won't waste it on Buffy.' I don't intend to. Now lets go see the sculptures I promised to show you," Spike said calmly.

"Fine…but we're talking about this when its just the two of us…Otherwise you'll be talking to Angel and we both know you don't want to have that discussion," Dawn insisted. 

Angel smirked, "Damn she's like Buffy!"

Dawn turned around, eyes full of rage. "I am not like that selfish bitch!" she burst out. "I take care of my own. I defend her name even though she doesn't deserve it… I am not manipulative and I don't use people… Don't ever say I'm like her again!"

Spike put his arm around her sweetly. He gently turned her back toward the door, instead of staring Angel down. There was utter silence in the lobby as Dawn and Spike put on coats and grabbed umbrellas. Spike made eye contact with Angel, apologetically. He just nodded. 

As the pair left the lobby breathed out a sigh. "Okay it should be altered. She's exactly like fifteen year old Buffy," Cordelia offered looking around the room. "Might want to stay way from pointed objects around that one, Angel." He sighed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Buffy began to get into a routine of work, seeing her friends, and slaying. Everyday though she would stop to tell Dawn something and she wouldn't be there. Patrol was harder without Spike at her back. She fought with even less vigor then before. Tara was practically living at the house to make sure Buffy didn't do anything rash. 

            Sunday fun night at the Bronze had been a complete wash since Buffy wouldn't dance and left early to patrol. The fun night was to celebrate Buffy's first day at the Magic Box. Buffy made no mistakes that cost money to the shop so Anya was happy. The next two days at work helped Buffy feel like she was doing something to earn back Dawn's trust. Customers came and went always with a Buffy greeting. 

            Things had been left so awful with Spike Friday night that Buffy decided to call Angel to see how everything was…not caring if he figured it out. She lifted the phone and dialed from memory. She hated that she still knew Angel's number from memory.

            "Angel Investigations," a very British accent came through the receiver. 

            "Hi Wesley. It's Buffy."

            Loudly Wesley said, "HELLO BUFFY! HOW ARE YOU?"

            "Fine Wes. You think I lost my hearing or something?" the slayer asked.

            "What? No… I just…" 

            "Hi Buffy," Angel said taking the phone from the former watcher.

            "What was that about?" she asked quickly.

            "Truth or smooth?" Angel answered.

            "Truth…even if it hurts…Can't hurt any worse then the last time I was on this line," she said with a sigh. 

Angel sighed, "There was a Buffy discussion going on when you called."

            "That I got. What else?" There was silence on Angel's end. "Was it about me and Spike?" Buffy said taking a big emotional step. 

            The vampire cleared his throat. "Something like that… We're still repairing Wesley's wall from your last discussion…"

            Buffy bit her lip, "Sorry… I guess its better then if we had been together. We would have beaten the hell out of each other."

            "That's not all you would have done," Angel said quietly.

            "Probably not… But he cut me off from face to face conversations because of it," Buffy owned up to it. More silence. "So what was the discussion?"

            "The fact that he really does love you. No doubt in my mind. Same devotion he had with Druscilla," Angel stated clipped. 

            "Then why did he leave me?" Buffy groaned. 

            "Back at the thought that this is all about you huh? Man, I've been trying to nail down the anger that emanates off your sister about you. Now I get it. You really can't see that Spike's choices now are based solely on what's best for Dawn… With every ounce of his being he wants to start over. He can do that here. There's a place for him here, without being constantly told he is evil and…" Angel paused.  "But that doesn't matter because if Dawn wants to go home tomorrow, he'll go. If she stays, he stays. His choices are no longer about himself or you. They're about Dawn… It's kind of sad to watch her Buffy. There is so much of you in her…so much of what was good and pure in you when you were her age. I took that from you… And now you're someone else and she hates that part of you."

            Buffy was only half listening to Angel babble. He was saying the same things she already knew, but now they were confirmed by an outside source: 1) Spike did truly love her, 2) he did truly want to be away from her & 3) Dawn really did hate her. Something inside Buffy burst. A sudden sense of desperation broke over her being. Buffy didn't say goodbye, just hung up. It was closing time so she turned the 'we're closed' sign over. The phone began to ring. In the back of her mind she knew it was Angel. She didn't care.

            She didn't check the cash register knowing that Anya would want to do it herself. Buffy slipped down the stairs and changed clothes into a more slayer friendly wear. One stake in pocket only she began to walk not caring where to or how far. She went to Spike's crypt staring at all the things she had broken of his. She went down below and lay on his bed for a moment. 

A pack of cigarettes and a deposable lighter lay on the floor. Buffy eyed them for a second before lighting one. She breathed in the awful tar taste and coughed profusely. Again she sipped at the 'cancer' stick that she always hated like it was a straw. Eventually she realized she had lain on his bed and smoked a whole cigarette for no reason. 

Buffy went to where Spike kept his clothes, pulling at her favorite long sleeved red button up shirt. Her jacket slipped to the floor and she let the shirt swallow her. She put her jacket back on but she reveled in the smell of him near her body. 

She left the crypt and walked until she arrived at one of Dawn's best friends houses. "Hi Ms. Hill. May I come in?"

"Sure Buffy. Are you okay?" the older woman said. "You look so tired."

"I know," she gave a half smile. "I'm not sleeping well. Dawn's visiting our father. I'm afraid she's going to want to stay… I'm not like my mom."

Ms. Hill eyed the twenty-something girl that was her daughter's best friend's guardian. "You miss her a lot," the woman said sweetly.

"Everyday. I just want her to come home," Buffy answered truthfully.

"I was talking about your mother."

"Oh… Same thing without the belief mom's coming home," Buffy swallowed.

"Was there something you needed?" the woman asked.

"No… I just needed to feel like I was near Dawn. Somewhere where there hasn't been bad fights," she answered with tears in her eyes.

"Then I guess I should come over to your house when I want to feel close to Janice." Buffy looked up at this mother. "It hurts no matter if they're your sister or your daughter… Please call me Beth."

"Thank you Beth."

Buffy talked to Beth for a while longer before heading back into the night. She knew now that if things got bad with Dawn she could talk to Beth about it. Some how that helped with the prospect of her coming home. A kitten scurried in front of her feet to alert her of her whereabouts. Buffy was so deep in thought that she had arrived at a familiar demon bar. She walked straight to the backroom and sat at the table. "All right gentlemen… Deal me in," she said depositing the kitten into the hat. 

_A/N2: If anyone else were upset by my take on Buffy I would love to actually be able to email you back. You may find my reasoning different from the way it's approached in this piece. _


	10. Safe

Title: Safe

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

A/N: Got a couple of negative reviews about the story from the last chapter. Not really sure why the last chapter.  Anyway, this is much more about Spike running from his hurt and starting to deal with it. I hope this will ease the hurt people have been feeling. 

            The cab opened in front of the Hyperion giving Spike a chance to carry out a sleeping Dawn to the lobby. The teen was completely curled into Spike's chest when Angel got the door for him. "Hank know she's here?" Angel asked.

            "Hank is MIA. I've tried everywhere… I almost called Buffy to find out if she knew," Spike ground out. 

            "She didn't mention it when she called," the older vampire said smoothly. 

            "Why? Why did she call?" 

            "I'm actually not sure. We never got that far into a discussion…" There was a long pause. "I doubt this is wise to say but it'll nag me if I don't." Angel looked down then looked at Spike still holding Dawn. "She wants you desperately… She didn't try to deny what had been going on between you and she made damn sure I understood you cut her off… The two of you being gone is killing her… She hung up on me, Spike…me. Because she didn't like what I was saying."

            Spike said nothing walking to the sofa to lie Dawn on. "Aren't you going to say something?"

            "What's there to say Peaches? It's midnight in LA. Dawn's father is gone. He can't be trust to take care of her. He didn't even bother to call and let me know where he was… You want me to be upset that Buffy hung up on you?" Spike snarled.

            "No, I want you to listen to what happened later," the brooder said.

            "What's that? You two belong together…I've heard the tale and lived part of it. Spare me."

            "No Bleach Boy, she called back from some demon dive in Sunnydale. She was calling to tell you that she had won ten kittens. She thought you'd be proud of her. She started balling about hard it was without you both there. The Magic Box is just barely holding her interest…but its better then the fast food place she was working. None of this I knew before now," he huffed frustrated. "She's been sitting in Dawn's room just to be close to her. She made friends with one of the moms of Dawn's friends. Now when she gets frustrated about the parent stuff she has someone she can call…" Spike sat down on the sofa next to his Nibblet. 

            Angel continued to talk as Spike just stared into space; "Slaying is harder since you both left. Not much in the way of will to not get dead…those were her words Spike. The death wish is getting to her." Angel grabbed Spike's face to look him in the eye, "Buffy went to your place and smoked your cigarettes. She is wearing your clothes… Do you understand what I'm telling you? Give her something, please." Angel worked his jaw a few times before saying, "She loves you. Fix it!"

            Spike slapped Angel's arms away from his body as he stood. "You don't know anything… I've been living this nightmare for too long. I know the games. I'll go back to being the disgusting thing as soon as I get back to town… She only wants what she can't have."

            Angel closed his eyes and said, "No Spike. She told me she loves you. She can't take that back and she knows it. She wouldn't have said it if it weren't true."

            Spike stopped a moment then went to pick up Dawn to take her to a room. He turned to Angel, "See this face. This face loves me as I am. She doesn't want me any other way then how I am, no soul and all. This Summers woman will allow me to love her till the end of time. She will never question why I do something nice for her, because she'll know its because I love her. I will do whatever I have to do to make sure this one doesn't get burned, doesn't get eaten or abused. I will always be there for her until I am dust. Nothing you said makes a bit of difference. It is Dawn's call. If we go home, I'll deal with it then. For now I just know that Hank sucks…but maybe she won't care because I'll be here to protect her."

            "You don't want to face Buffy, do you?" Angel said to Spike's back. 

            "What vampire in his right mind would?"

            "Lame excuse…"

            "You're right…I don't want to see Buffy. I don't want to let her get in my guts and twist me up. I'm just getting unwound," Spike answered.

            "Tuck Dawn in… We're going to have a dead heart to dead heart."

            "Bloody Hell!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

            Tara rocked a finally sleeping Buffy back and forth in her bed. She slipped out of Buffy's bedroom to crash in Dawn's for the night. Willow stepped into the hallway to talk for a minute. 

            "How's she doing?" Will asked.

            "Pretty bad. She's losing a battle with depression. Unfortunately, she can't do that in her work. I'm glad I found her in that bar. She was drunk, balling on the phone to Angel of all people… Losing Dawn will kill her. Losing Spike will get her killed literally," Tara said grimly. 

            "I guess one of us needs to go patrolling with her every night this week then?" Willow asked.

            "Would be good."

            "I had group tonight so tomorrow I could go," the red head offered.

            "You up for that?" Tara asked.

            "Yeah, I am…"

            "I'm going to call Spike. I was up front with him before. I need to be up front now," Tara said as she headed for the stairs. "See ya in the morning." Willow just nodded.

            "Angel Investigations, Angel speaking."

            "Hi…Um…Is Spike there?" a mousy voice asked.

            "Uh…Yeah. He may be indisposed. Who shall I say is calling?"

            "Wow…that is professional. Tell him its Tinkerbell…He'll get it, trust me."

            Angel walks over to his wayward childe who was nursing a Jack Daniels. "A chick calling herself Tinkerbell wants to talk to you," Angel informed him handing him the cordless. 

            Spike swiveled so he was sitting upside down on the sofa, with his head on the floor and his feet in the air. "Glinda…What is it? I was drinking myself into a nice stupor."

            "You seem to be handling this separation about as well as Buffy is." Spike growled into the phone. "That good huh? Well let me one up you…being away from Dawn is killing her and being away from you is coming dangerously close to getting her killed."

            Spike fumbled to try to get upright having the phone upside down once he righted him self. "Bloody…Hell…" he snarled. "Why am I supposed to care?!"

            Tara smiled to herself, "One because you love her and two because you love Dawn. Buffy dying isn't a viable option here Spike. Not because of the Hellmouth but because Dawn won't survive and you know it."

            A roar resounded through the building like an animal had been killed. Dawn was up in a second; she came to the door only to see Spike gesturing back into her room. The mousy girl he had scared earlier Angel shooed back to sleep. 

"Nice roar… Now speak," Tara teased. 

            "I can't Tara…I just can't. She's going to kill me," Spike said simply. 

            "Spike before I kept you in the loop about everything that happened with Buffy and Dawn. I haven't gotten one call from you to tell me how things are going with Hank. You owe me that much," Tara pushed.

            The sigh Spike let out told the tale. "He sucks at this, doesn't he?" 

            "I can't find him. He was supposed to meet us for dinner. I was going to be introduced as a close friend of Buffy's that was out here too. He never showed. His office said he was called away unexpectedly and that they were sure he'd get in touch with me… Guess I know where Buffy learned from," Spike said bitterly.

            "Learned what?"

            "The manipulation," he hissed. "He knew she was safe with a friend of the family so he could skip out on his daughter…He doesn't want her cramping his style," Spike said with venom. 

            "Guess that means you're going to have to work on the Buffy stuff after all," Tara chided.

            "We don't know anything. I could take care of Nibblet here. I could work for Angel and take care of Dawn," Spike tried to argue.

            "And then she would be in the same boat as she was here. Never really having a parent because he would always have to be saving the world," the blond witch answered.  

            "I'm defeated. We're coming home no matter what Dawn wants," he said roughly.

            "She wants to come home. You know it. She also wants to make you happy. You're happy there so she's trying to be."

            "Damn those Psychology classes you take!" Spike slumped down. He became very quiet, "Can you live with us too for the first week… just to make sure Buffy keeps her distance?"

            Tara was shocked, "You really want this break up between you and Buffy to continue even after everything she's done to try and right things?"

            "Yes, damn it! And don't kid yourself this is no break up. For there to have been a break up both parties have to agree there was a relationship or thing between them," Spike griped. 

            "So there was nothing between you?" Tara snapped.

            "Bloody hell woman… There was pain… There was something, but Buffy would never admit it."

            "She does now, Spike… I heard Xander call her reaction to your call on Friday an 'Angel attack' and 'This is way worse then Riley.' Believe me everyone knows how much she misses you. Everybody knows this was a huge break up," Tara chastised him. 

            "Tara…Too much pain… It doesn't feel real… I feel convenient. Second best. Like the only reason why she wants me is she can't have me or because I'm the closest thing to Angel she can get," Spike confessed having left the lobby retiring to Wesley's office again. 

            Tara sighed. 'Male bruised ego,' she thought. "The only time Angel's name has been mentioned was in getting in touch with you faster. She told him out right that she loved you, Spike. Having you gone has made it real to her… Every time she can't sleep or smile, she wants you. Every time something strikes her as funny, she wants you. Someone to complain about how boring her day was or how good the chicken wings are at the Bronze…it's you she wants. Very domestic, I know but true… When she was drunk tonight she said she wanted to get those cell phones with radios on them so she could radio you at home while she's working."

            Spike breathed unsteady breaths as Tara spoke. "I want to believe you," he whispered. 

            "When have I ever lied to you?" she countered. He had no response. "I'll talk to you tomorrow after Willow and I patrol with her, for her protection… Just think about it Spike."

            "Night Tinkerbell."

            "Night blood breath."

            Angel eyed Spike who sat stunned in the office. "What's up boy?" Angel asked very commanding. 

            "I…I'm… You were right about what you said… Glinda believes…I mean Tara believes Buffy. She wouldn't make stuff up," Spike muttered absent-mindedly. "I guess when we get home…I can't think about this tonight. Tomorrow when I'm sober." Spike stood up and went for the stairs.

            "William," Angel addressed Spike by his real name rarely. "She loves you. If you love her a tenth as much as you loved Dru then I know she'll be well looked after."

            "No, 'You're a vampire' or 'EVIL' or 'You can't change'," Spike accused. 

            "You've changed, but only a little. You could always love passionately and with abandon. You just stopped snacking between acts."

_A/N2: I promise to give Buffy a chance folks…so calm down._


	11. Sweetness

Title: Sweetness

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Spike had laid in bed chain smoking for about an hour. He growled at himself thinking about Buffy. She was asleep, probably still wearing his clothes. She told Angel she loved him. He growled again. 

            Jumping up to walk off some nervous energy he decided to go talk to Dawn about everything, even if it was the middle of the night. Spike slipped into her room and sat next to her sleeping form. "Nibblet… Dawn," he whispered.

            "Spike… Where? Where are we?" she mumbled groggily. 

            "The Hyperion."

            "Dad didn't come," she said with a severe frown.

            "I need to ask you… Do you want to stay here?" he said very quietly. Dawn considered him. "Do you like it here or are you trying to make me happy?"

            She frowned, "Am I that transparent?"

            "No… Tara's just good at reading between the lines," Spike said in a normal voice. "It'll be okay Dawn. It's not going to kill me to go back."

            "I just don't want you to hurt anymore," the teen whispered.

            "Life hurts Dawn. You can't avoid getting hurt…No matter what I was acting like this morning… I'll admit I'm scared to go back but… Your sister called a couple times tonight. She's apparently not doing well without us." Dawn looked down. "I mean **_us_**… She's spent time at you friend's house and in your room to feel close to you." Her big pleading eyes told him all he needed to know. 

            Spike swallowed, "We'll call Buffy in the morning to tell her we're coming home and we're staying. Do you want to stay the rest of the week without the high drama or do you just want to go home?"

            "I'd like to have you to myself for a little while longer," she whispered taking his hand. "Buffy's really a fool ya know."

            "No she's not Nibblet. I did my share of the hurting in whatever it was between us… She just called a lot of the shots and then I'd react to it. Not well either."

            Dawn yawned, "Are you going to get back together when we get home?"

            "This morning I'd have said no. Now, I'm not sure," Spike said playing with her hair. 

            Dawn was almost back to sleep when she said, "Might be nice to have you two not fight…Even better if we…were…a…family."

            The vampire shook all over from the teen's words. He kissed her head and left the room.

            Once again in his room, Spike attempted to relax, this time actually readying himself for bed. He stripped and climbed into the comfortable bed. Turning over a few times didn't help things. Smashing pillows and kicking sheets didn't aid his rest either. 

            "I really have to do this, don't I?" he said to the ceiling. With a great sigh Spike dialed the familiar number. 

            One ring and "Hello," a very groggy slayer muttered. 

            "Pet?" he said lightly.

            "Spike?"

            Buffy had been sleeping soundly when an annoying ringing occurred outside her head when before it had been inside. She reached for the offending object on instinct realizing it would make the infernal noise again if she didn't stop it. Understanding she was holding a phone and expected to say something was another matter. Having Spike on the other end of the line was a true surprise. Buffy sat up in bed and pulled as much of her attention together as she could.

            "Ya, pet, it's me. I'm sorry to call so late…but I couldn't sleep," he admitted.

            "Well I had a bunch of alcohol and Tara's rocking to help me get there myself." 

            Spike was quiet for a while then nervously said, "You called tonight?"

            "I was drunk," Buffy sighed.

            "Oh," Spike said deflated. "I should have seen that excuse coming," he commented. "I'll let you get back to sleep."

            "No… Wait… Excuse… No excuse. I called drunk. I thought you were going to ask me about the kittens," Buffy said panicked. "What did you want to talk about?"

            "Uhh… I… Angel said… Never mind… It doesn't matter…" Spike ground out still hanging on to her 'I was drunk' comment.

            "It does matter… It so matters… Just tell me what it was that I said to Angel that you want to talk about," she pled, not knowing if Angel would have told Spike that she said she loved Spike.

            Spike clenched his jaw, "If you don't know what you said to Angel that would warrant a late night call then what's the point… Dawn will call you in the morning."

            "He told you I love you!" she said hurriedly. Spike paused relaxing a bit then was completely stunned. "I… I… please tell me you'll at least give me a chance."

There was long period of silence. "Nibblet will call you in the morning."

            "That's it. It doesn't matter what I said," Buffy started to get defensive.

            "You haven't said jack," Spike hissed.

            "What the hell are you talking about?" 

            "YOU haven't told ME anything," he said with emphasis. The silence was louder then anything to Spike. His heart hurt again. "I didn't think so," he gulped. "Night."

            "Can't you say it first?" she whispered. Spike was taken aback. "It's just been so long since you've said it not in an angry tone or coupled with why it's not enough… Couldn't you just tell me one last time without the baggage?"

            "Pet," he soothed.

            "See… You used to call me luv. You don't even do that anymore," Buffy said the last part in the quietest whisper. 

            Spike realized she was crying softly. He closed his eyes and prepared to have his heart ripped out again for the sake of this small woman. "I love you, Buffy," straightforward and simple. 

            Buffy's cries became a little more erratic as if mixed in with something else. "I love you, too…" she almost giggled letting what she said sink in with Spike. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry… I know this doesn't fix things…anything really but…" she continued to babble. "I don't know what's going to happen now…but thank you for giving me this."

Spike breathed deeply with tears in his eyes. She said it. She actually said it to him and to herself. The pain in his chest was still there, so was the sense of impending doom, but for now the cards were on the table. "Lay back down Buffy," he whispered. "You've got work in the morning."

            "Don't go… Please… I'm afraid in the morning you'll change your mind or pretend it didn't happen or maybe I'm dreaming," she rushed.

            There it was, the sharp pain again. "Luv, you really don't understand me at all, do you? Nothing changed on my side. Pretending things didn't happen is one of your games, not mine. And believe me the tears in my eyes and the pain my chest allow me to know you aren't dreaming."

            Buffy realized the severity of his tone was still like it had been before he left. "This won't make any difference, will it? Not to you… What I say doesn't mean anything?"

            "I'm sorry," he whispered back. "How can it?"

            "I love you," she said again with no prompting. "I mean it. It may have nearly killed me to figure it out but I do."

"Pet… You know this song by these Irish guys…With or Without you?'

            "Yeah," Buffy said quietly. It struck her as funny to hear U2 be referred to as 'these Irish guys.'

            "That's what I feel like right now, pet…luv… I'm tired. I'm very tired… I used to get off on us fighting. I still do I guess…but at this moment I'm exhausted," Spike said feeling suddenly very old. 

            "I'm sorry for that… I've run as far as I can go too. I've wrung myself out…I guess I ran so fast away from you that I didn't notice I was just running in circles. At least not until I felt the need to wear your clothes, smoke your cigarettes, and play kitten poker with a bunch of demons," Buffy joked lightly. 

Spike chuckled. 

"I heard that… I bet you're smirking right now."

            He actually did laugh, "Yeah, I am. Wouldn't be me without it."

            "Yeah you would… just less cocky."

            "Never been less on the cock scale…Wait…I didn't mean it like that…Bloody hell," he cursed.

            Buffy giggled with tears coming down her face with joy. "When would you ever run away from an innuendo?"

            "When I want to keep some physical distance between us," he answered truthfully.

            Buffy was shaken, "Why?"

            Spike could feel Buffy's defenses rise over the phone, "Because I need it to be different if it's going to be anything. Somehow I don't think falling back into bed, no matter how tempting you are, is a good idea."

            She sighed, "Sure…Just as long as you aren't saying you never want to touch me again… I know its dumb because of all the times I've said it to you…but I don't think I can take that type of rejection from someone I love."

            "No sweetness, I would never say I don't want to touch you again," Spike whispered.

            "I like that," Buffy said with a smile.

            "What?" 

            "You called me Sweetness. I like that," she answered. 

            "Well sweetness, it's very late and you were sleeping. Maybe now I can catch some z's rather then just rolling around in the bed," he said softly.

            "I wish I was with you," Buffy said. "Not for the rolling in bed part…not that I mind the rolling in bed part… I just mean it would be nice to sleep beside you."

            "Thank you, luv. That was as close to the right answer as I think you could get," Spike answered. 

            Buffy smiled, "Then I guess I shouldn't mention how nice it would be to rest my head on your chest rather then this infernal pillow."

            He chuckled, "No, I guess not."

            "How bout the way you spoon my back?"

            "Goodnight Buffy. Love you."

            "Love you too."

            Spike looked at his phone in disbelief as if it could explain all that had been said over it. She had made him laugh. It had been too long since that had happened. He lay back against the pillows on his bed. After a moment he moved on his side. He grabbed a kind size pillow then held it in front of his body pretending it was Buffy. Maybe…just maybe one day soon it would be. 

TBC…


	12. Hank

Title: Hank

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            "How'd you sleep?" Angel asked a bleary eyed Spike who was up to go tell Hank off for the treatment of his daughter…actually daughters, plural. "What are you wearing?" the older vampire asked.

            "Shut up, Peaches," Spike snapped wearing kacky pants, a light blue button up shirt, with a navy tie and coat. "This is my presentable outfit for when I see Mr. Summers, which will be very soon!"

            Angel raised an eyebrow, "Remember the girls do need his help financially."

            "I remember," he hissed as he heated his breakfast blood.

"What should I tell Dawn when she comes down?" the souled one asked.

            Spike smirked, "To call Buffy… I already popped in on her to say what I was up to… She wanted to come watch but I told her to sleep… I don't think I could be more thankful for these rainy days in California."

            Angel sipped at his own breakfast. "I…I spoke to Hank once… I lost my temper at his arrogance and flippantness. Don't let him bait you."

"Thanks, Peaches. But it finally made sense to me last night… The man lost all goodness in his life when he lost Joyce and the girls. Now all he has is money. That is how I will appeal to him."

            "What are you talking about?" Angel asked suspiciously.

            "Last night he did what amounts to child endangerment… A powerful man who makes good money won't want his earning potential to suddenly plummet by charges being brought against him. Nor would he want his firm be sued as being a willing participant in avoiding his financial and parental responsibilities," Spike said like a good lawyer would.

            "How do you know the company has been doing that?" the older vamp asked.

            "I've heard the run around they have given Buffy. I also know from a letter Wesley wrote to Giles that Hank was in town and not out of the country when Joyce died. The company covered from him then."

"He doesn't work for Wolfram and Hart does he cause that would be bad news."

            "No he doesn't… If he did then I could sort of understand," Spike said calmly. "I got to go… Made an appointment with the bastards secretary last weak in case anything like this occurred."

            "Good luck," Angel said with a smile.

            "Whatever…Luck and vamps don't mix, you know that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Hello Mr. Ansley… How may I help you?" Hank Summers said sitting in his three-piece suit behind a large mahogany desk.

            With his most polished English accent Spike said, "Well Mr. Summers I am actually here to help you. You see you haven't been financially supporting your youngest daughter and while she's been in your care this week you left your fifteen year old daughter with a complete stranger."

            Mr. Summers face fell, "Who are you? I've talked to my eldest daughter about child support. She said she wouldn't involve lawyers."

            Spike smirked, "You're daughter didn't send me… In fact this has nothing to do with Buffy, Mr. Summers." 

            Hank blanched at the fact the man in his office knew his elder daughter's name. "I think you should leave."

            "Fine… In that case I will be making a formal complaint of child endangerment to the police. Have a nice day," Spike said as he began to leave.

"Who are you really? If you're with Social Services, please keep Dawn with Buffy where she belongs. I can't take care of her. You can see that…"

            "What I see is it's more like you won't take care of her… You see Mr. Summers, I've had a private investigator look into you and your lack of availability for your daughter. It seems your firm has a habit of lying for you about your location to dodge your responsibility," he spoke clipped staring the man down. "The fact that you were magically detained and unreachable in a foreign country when your ex-wife past even though you were in the town makes me wonder about what else they cover for you. It would be such a shame to sully the good name of this establishment by a lawsuit. After all they did aid you in dodging child support payments."

"What do you want?" Mr. Summers said becoming angry.

            Spike put his feet up on the man's desk and said, "Justice…but I'll take you actually taking care of your daughters. Spend some time with your daughter while she is visiting. Other then that I want you to pay, literally… for every expense either of your daughters has until they each reach the age of twenty-five. If you don't like my terms then be very aware I don't make idol threats… If I hear of any other major oversights on your part toward your daughters I will be more then willing to take the nice notarized statement I made of your neglect to the police."

            Hank and Spike stared at each other. "It won't be taken seriously…Why would it?"

            "Because, I, Mr. Summers, am the man you entrusted your fifteen year old daughter to overnight, with no way to reach you, your office covering for you and I, as you recall, met you for the first time this morning after the statement was notarized… Now what were you saying about it not being taken seriously?" he said smoothly. 

Hank blinked a few times and looked over the man before him. "You've been waiting for me to make a mistake like that haven't you?"

            "No… But I figured last night why not use it to your daughters advantage… Now I need your John Hancock right here," Spike said producing a typed document from his pocket.

            "What is this?"

            "This is the written agreement that states you will provide for every need your daughters, Buffy Ann Summers and Dawn Louise Summers, have until their twenty fifth birthday's."

            "You, Mr. Ansley, cover all your bases, don't you?" Hank said grudgingly as he sighed the document. 

            "Well Mr. Summers, I love your daughters and I want to protect them, especially from you." When Spike had the document back in hand he smiled at the father of his beloved girls and said, "Nice doing business with you and have a nice day. Hopefully, we will never see each other again."

"Hopefully," Hank answered as the strange blond man left his office. He pressed the button to intercom to his secretary, "Gloria?"

            "Yes Sir."

            "From now on if my daughters call put them through."

            "Yes Sir."

            Hank sat at his desk and said to himself, "At least I can claim them both as dependents again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Spike!" Dawn shouted running to him. "How'd it go?"

            "Beautifully," Spike said holding coat & tie in hand. "Look what I have for you." He handed Dawn the statement her father had sighed.

            The excited scream of the teenager went up causing the generally unobservant Angel Investigations to take notice. "I can't believe it…We have to call Buffy," Dawn said quickly tugging on his hand. 

            "What is that?" Angel asked.

            "He got my dad to put in writing he was finically responsible for Buffy and I until we're twenty five…Can you believe it?"

            "Wow…" Cordelia exclaimed. "Spike can you work my father over."

            "Sorry prom queen… I don't have anything on your daddy to bargain with," Spike answered.

"Come on…" Dawn tugged at Spike toward Wesley's office.

            "Oh no… Last time he talked to Buffy in my office my desk and wall got harmed. Find another phone," Wesley said coolly. 

            "Nibblet can talk to her…I don't have to."

            "That's how it started last time man," Gunn said simply.

            "Use the phone in the conference room," Angel instructed.

            The teen dragged the blond vampire into the small room. "You ever get the feeling that it wasn't the chip that reigned in Spike's demon but that mite of a girl," Wesley asked eyeing the two slowly. Angel smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Magic Box, how may we help you?"

            "Anya, can I please speak to Buffy?" 

            "Sure Dawn, but not for too long. Costumers call on this line."

            Dawn looked over her shoulder at Spike, "Anya's getting Buffy…" Spike nodded standing uncomfortably not really being sure how to handle another Buffy conversation. "Buffy…it's me."

            Buffy smiled brightly on her end. Spike was right Dawn did call her. "Hi Dawnie. How's LA?"

            "Dad sucks…but Spike is awesome. Guess what he did for us?" she said excitedly.

            Buffy couldn't think of what would get Dawn this excited. "What?"

            "He got dad to put in writing that he would take care of all our expenses until we each turn twenty five," Dawn explained. There was silence on the other end of the phone. "Buffy? You still there?" she asked much less excited.

            Buffy was shocked. Spike had gone to see her dad. Not only that but he did something that their mother had never been able to do, which was put in writing he would care for them. "Buffy?" the phone said again.

            "Yeah Dawn, I'm still here… I'm just in shock," she said spaced out. "Can I talk to Spike?"

"Uh…yeah…I guess," Dawn made a face and handed the phone to Spike who looked at it like it were a poisonous snake. "She wants to talk to you."

            "I don't know pet… Does she sound mad?" Spike asked sheepishly.

            "No… geez… just take the phone. You can always hang up on her if she starts yelling," Dawn advised.

            Spike cautiously took the phone. "Hi luv… Please don't stake me when we get back… I was starting to look forward to seeing my room."

            Buffy started to cry. "I'm not mad," she whispered her throat so full of emotion. "You don't understand what you did. Mom gave up fighting for dad to put in writing he would take care of us during the divorce. She told me later it was a waste of time and money. She knew that he wouldn't leave his girls in the lurch if anything happened to her. She didn't know how wrong she was."

            Spike listened to Buffy whimper and sniffle. "Buffy don't cry…" he whispered.

            "Thank you…for doing that," she whispered back. 

            "Your welcome luv," Spike answered playing with the telephone cord like a teenage girl. Dawn eyed him doing it, which caused Spike to promptly stop. "Dawn needs to tell you something. See you soon."

            Buffy shut her eyes and sighed. "I look forward to it."

            Dawn looked at Spike puzzled when he handed the phone back. "You still haven't told your sister were coming back to stay…" the vamp said putting the phone in her hand.

            "Hey Buffy… I thought this was self-evident but I guess Spike thinks I need to actually tell you… We're coming home and we'll be staying."

            The slayer was crying again. "Thank you," she whispered so softly. "I'll be… It will work this time Dawnie. I'll be around for you. Spike will be there for you too. You won't be alone anymore."

            Dawn swallowed a few times before speaking. "I know Buffy that's why we're coming home."

            "I love you Dawnie… I hope you'll believe me again… And… I figured stuff out about Spike. It may not matter, but I love him. I know that now… I'm sorry for all the things that I said that hurt you…I didn't mean to," Buffy apologized. 

            "Love you too Buffy. I'll see you in two days…" Dawn said and hung up. Buffy stared at the phone.

"Well its about damn time you figured out you love Spike. We all figured that out last Friday night during your fight," Anya said from behind the cash register. "Maybe now we can do couple stuff together."

            "Not there yet Anya… Spike hasn't said he wants me back," Buffy said sullenly.

            "The man couldn't stay away from you if he tried," the ex-demon responded.

            "Actually Anya…He's done very well staying away from me. I'll just have to wait and see."

TBC…


	13. Again

Title: Again

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Dawn spent the rest of the week playing oblivious to the agreement her father had made with Spike. She just pretended to be the happy teenager whose father finally found time in his schedule for her.

            Spike spent a lot of time with Angel weirdly enough. Cordelia tried to get Spike to talk about the Buffy thing but all conversation ceased when her name was mentioned. Finally Gunn had had enough of Spike's mood swings when it came to the slayer. Lorn, the wonderful host that could read people's history and path by singing, was invited over to help the wayward vamp.

"You got to be bloody kidding?!" Spike gawked as Dawn laughed at his indignation. "I'm not going to sing like a pounce for this Wanker!"

            "Ah, yeah you will. We want you to not return with Buffy issues…so you're going to sort them now," Cordy said. "We went through Angel pulling the same sort of crap obsession stuff with Darla and that ended badly! You will figure it out!" the prom queen said strongly.

            "You won't sound like a 'pounce' and I'm not a Wanker…" Lorn said smoothly. "If you don't want to sing you can always hum."

"There will be no humming or singing or…" Spike ranted till Dawn broke in.

            "You play the guitar…Will that work?" Dawn asked.

            "Bit…I don't want to do any of this."

            "Well you're going to do something because I'm not going to deal well with you two getting along, sleeping together, hating one another, not talking, talking, then starting the process over… You're the freaked one this time. Just let him help," Dawn pled. 

            Spike worked his jaw. "Fine but I'm not singing in front of the rest of these people!"

            "I'm staying because I've heard you sing before and you have an amazing voice…" Dawn said confidently. She then whispered in his ear, "I've heard Angel sing…he sucks. You could always take the opportunity to show him up."

            Leaning away from Dawn Spike smirked, "This is way I love you. The incentives you give me."

            "I'll get your guitar," she said with a smile. 

            The teenager ran up to Spike's room and grabbed the guitar case. "She's a firecracker," Lorn said of Dawn. "I bet I'd get an interesting reading off of her."

            Spike considered it a moment. Dawn came down the stairs two at a time, barely managing not to destroy the instrument. "Alright Nibblet…You want me to do this you'll have to sing along at some point." She rolled her eyes and nodded. "What should I sing?"

            "How bout the song you sang to Buffy during our musical extravaganza?" Dawn said twirling her arms artistically. 

            Angel raised his eyebrows. "I so want to hear this," Cordelia said. 

            "I don't know pet."

            "Please…I love that. Nice and rocking…plus I'll even sing the chorus," she singsonged. 

            "Fine," Spike blurted out. He grabbed a stool and sat down with his guitar. Dawn sat in a chair next to him tapping her foot to the music. She had tried to cheer Spike up on the way up to LA so she had convinced him to sing his song. She loved it so much she made him sing it a few times so she could learn it. 

            Spike continued to sing much to the impressed faces of everyone but Angel who did not like the content of the song. As he started the second half of the song, he shut his eyes and just sang.

"You know   
You got a willing slave   
And you just love to play the thought   
You might misbehave   
But 'til you do, I'm telling you   
Stop visiting my grave   
And let me rest in peace   
I know   
I should go   
But I follow you like a man possessed   
There's a traitor here, beneath my breast   
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed   
If my heart could beat, it would break my chest   
But I can see you're unimpressed   
So leave me be and 

Let me rest in peace   
Let me get some sleep   
Let me take my love and bury it   
In a hole six foot deep   
I can lay my body down   
But I can't find my sweet release   
Let me rest in peace   
Why won't you   
Let me rest in peace?" 

            Dawn sang along at the end. They were a good blend of young innocence and dark age. Lorn took in both voices, letting images wash through him. There was a strong internal bond between the two…It was so apparent that this song was also Dawn's song to her sister but for different reasons. 

            "Sweet really does know how to bring the truth out of people's mouths if they want it said or not. I bet there were all sorts of fun revelations in Sunnydale that day," Lorn said with a smug smile. 

            "Yeah, well… I sang my bit…now out with it," Spike demanded trying to regain his composure.

            Dawn leaned into his ear, "Who are you trying to impress in this room? I know for a fact the only person's opinion in this room that really matters to you is mine, and I love you so…"

            Spike closed his eyes and smiled. "It's part of being male Bit. You have to posture in front of other males," he whispered back. 

            "Gunn- young guy, don't know fight stance, been pretty cool to talk to. Wesley- ex-watcher, need I say more? Lorn- the guy is green and looks like a lounge singer. And the poofter," Dawn said quietly as Spike chuckled. "She's waiting for you, not him," the younger Summers said with authority. Spike bit his lip and stared at her hard. "She loves you."

            Spike swallowed a few times and rapped his arms around Dawn. "I've fallen for all the Summers women," he said lightly to her. "You're mum and you are just as much in my blood as the slayer is…don't forget that."

            Dawn looked into his face, "How could I? You loved me enough to leave Buffy… Nothing in this world has meant as much to me, not even Buffy jumping. She did that for everyone. You did this for just me."

            He hugged her tight again. "I love you."

            "Love you too…" Dawn sniffled. "Now lets find out what Lorn has to say."

            "Are we done with the water works and the whispered endearments? I swear, if the slayer keeps giving you trouble just wait a few years for this one," Lorn said.

            "EWWW!" Dawn said. "I may love him but he's like a big brother… EWWW!"

            Spike cracked up. "So much for the theory I'm irresistible to the Summers women." Dawn rolled her eyes. "Your mum wouldn't give me play either." Dawn quickly drew a fist to punch Spike for the joke. "Nibblet… Joky joky joky!"

            "You're evil!" she fumed.

            "I know!" he smirked.

            "Ready folks?" Lorn asked looking them both over. They considered each other then nodded. "Go home," he announced. "You both needed to leave because of one person. Now you both need to go back for the same person. You're allowed to be there for each other and the occasional united front but don't pull the 'You're mad at her so I'm mad at her' routine." Spike and Dawn listened intently. 

"Your heart is desperate for love and family…you knew that. Let her show you she worthy of your trust. You will need to rely on her in the near future for something very hard and only she can help you," Lorn said addressing Dawn. He then turned to Spike, "And you, well, you and Buffy have major issues a mile wide. Combine your insecurity that you're beneath her with her fear you'll leave her and you get the insanity and hurt that occurred before you left… This time around hold your tongue. Any snide remark from her…let it pass. Don't be baited. Any truth you need to tell her will almost always be followed by verbal abuse. She's learning not to lash out but she's not there yet. You don't have to stick around for the insults, either. And if she decides to make the fight physical, defend yourself or walk away. Don't let her pummel you anymore. That just sinks her further into the depression she's in over the monster she's become to the people she loves… And thus endth the lessons."

Spike stared the host in the eyes trying not to say or do anything else. This stranger's comments were too close to the way it was and it hurt a great deal to actually hear the words from someone other then Dawn. The truth was hard especially in broad daylight. Dawn tugged on his arm, "Hey… Calm down. I can practically see the steam rising off of you." He cleared his throat and sat down. "He's right you know," the teen said lightly. "You help her so much by telling her the truth that she doesn't want to listen. But you have to stand up for yourself or she's going to keep bulldozing you," she whispered in his ear. "I know you can hurt her. I'm so proud that you haven't…not really anyway."

He just turned his head almost robotically, "You mean you're proud I didn't drain her or kill her when I had the chance." His face was completely devoid of emotion, "My biggest supporter didn't even believe I wouldn't do that… How bloody typical?"  He shook his head and stood walking past them all grabbing him blanket and heading for his car. 

Dawn saw the smoke rising off of the blanket as he walked into the sunshine. "Is he out of his mind?" Gunn asked completely stunned.

As fast as her legs could carry her, Dawn was out the door and at the back of the Desoto speeding away. "Damn It!" she yelled. She came in the hotel slamming the front door, shattering the glass into a million pieces. Dawn stood shocked in the middle of the lobby. "How'd I do that?" she asked completely stunned.

"I have no idea," Cordelia answered. "Guess we found something to try your daddy's sighed agreement on- the fixing of our front door."

Spike had circled the block when he realized that Dawn had come after him… Buffy never did that. He made it just to the side of the building when he watched the front door shatter. He parked his car on the front lawn as close as possible and ran into the building, blanket covered. "What in the Bloody Hell happened?" he gasped as he went to Dawn and rapped his arms around her. She smelled of blood. Small pieces of the shattered glass had imbedded themselves in her skin causing blood to trickle down her arms. "Nibblet?" he said scared to death. "What happened, luv?"

She just stood there as he began to pull pieces of glass from her arms one at a time. "I… I…I did that," she said with tears in her eyes. "I didn't mean to. I didn't," she began to cry. Spike just gently removed the glass from the teen's body and soothed her as best he could. Angel and Spike looked at one another knowing…it was happening… again.

TBC…


	14. Blood

Title: Blood

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Spike led Dawn into the conference room to sit down and rest. "I'm going to get the first aid kit, sweets…I'll be right back," he said calmly.

            "What's wrong with me?" she asked as he was about out the door. 

            "I'm not sure Nibblet… Let me get you cleaned up."

            Angel made a beeline to where Spike was walking. "Spike… She shouldn't have that kind of strength," the older vampire informed him.

            "I bloody well know that… The slayer blood must actually be kicking in or something. I'm going to get her cleaned up and home as soon as possible," he whispered to Angel. 

            "Stay here… I'll send Cordelia to tend to Dawn. You talk to Lorn. He saw something…find out what it was," Angel said emphatically. 

            "Hey Dawnie," Cordelia said as she entered the conference room. "I'm going to take a look at your arms and neck, okay?"

            "Where's Spike?" she asked nervously.

            "He was going to do this himself but Lorn needed to talk to him… We didn't think you'd want to wait while you're bleeding all over your clothes and the floor," Cordy replied.

            "What are they talking about?"

            "Probably what just happened."

            "Why can't I hear?" Dawn said in a shaky voice. 

            Cordelia looked her in the eye, "Sweetheart, part of letting Spike be your parent is trusting him to do things he thinks are for your own good… From what I've seen of your relationship, Spike is very trustworthy."

            Dawn nodded and let Cordelia clean and bandage her arms.

            "All right host," Spike addressed Lorn, "I want to check on my girl so tell me what you saw."

            Lorn looked at him with his big red eyes and said, "I saw a lot of death."

            Spike closed his eyes and sighed. "Is she going to be called?"

            "That remains to be seen."

            "Well tell me something," Spike yelled at the man in front of him.

            "Fine…In true fairytale form here goes: Before this day is done, you will be gone from your girls. They will have to depend on one another."

            "I'm getting dusty today," the blond swallowed.

            "I didn't say that. I just said today you will be gone," Lorn responded.

            "I would never voluntarily leave Dawn," Spike insisted.

            "And again I never said that was the case." Spike sat in the lobby stunned. "When you sang I could see your commitment to these women. I also saw the sacrifice you were willing to make for them. Today your girls have to learn to depend on each other again."

            "What do I tell her?" the blond vamp barely spoke. 

            "Nothing," Lorn answered. "Things will proceed as they are predestined to. Go comfort Dawn, sooth her mind, call Buffy and tell her that you love her, and then wait. You'll know the moment when it arrives."

            "I thought the big moments in life you aren't supposed to see coming?" Spike asked.

            "They won't… This is their big moment, not yours," the green man said. "Trust me: Hold onto the belief that you will see your girls again and you will. If you lose faith…you might as well be dust."

Cordelia laid her hand on the vampire's back. "Dawn is asking for you." Spike nodded and went to his Nibblet.

The wild-eyed teen cast herself on the only father figure she had. "Tell me it's going to be okay… Please…" she begged through tears.

Spike sat them down and pulled her into his chest. "It's going to be okay sweetheart. We're going to be fine."

"What's wrong with me?" she whimpered.

"Nothing LilBit… You're just growing into your blood," he said smoothly.

"What?" she said lifting her head off of his chest.

Spike smirked, "You've got the slayer's blood Nibblet. You know 'strength and skill to hunt the vampire' and rot like that."

"I'm gonna be a slayer? Does that mean Buffy's going to die again?" Dawn babbled.

"No Bit… I don't know if you'll be called, but I do know that fifteen-year-old girls can't slam a door hard enough to shatter the glass on accident. Buffy's not going anywhere," he kissed her forehead. "How bout we call your sis and you talk to her some about what just happened, okay?" Dawn nodded. "I love you bit."

"I love you too."

Spike moved to the phone and dialed the Magic Box. "Hello, this is the Magic Box. How may we help you?" Buffy's voice sang across the line. 

Spike hurt to hear it. He wasn't going to be hearing it for a while he figured. "Hello luv," he responded shakily.

Buffy looked at Anya. She pointed at the phone and mouthed, 'It's Spike.' Anya shooed her into the back room while Willow looked on with a smile. "Happy Buffy seems to be making an appearance today," she giggled.

"It's Spike, the man she wants to have lots of orgasms with. Of course she's happy," Anya said plainly. 

"An… I know you think it's repressed but the word orgasm in conjunction with any of our friends or really any other person in a normal conversation should be avoided. It's just what human's consider good taste," Will tried to say delicately.

"I'm too blunt," Anya sighed.

"A little in private but a lot in public," she agreed with her friend. "But you've gotten so much better. In the past you would have said that about Buffy and Spike in front of a customer and wonder why they left." 

"Yeah," Anya smiled. "Do you think they're going to have phone sex?" 

"Anya!" 

Buffy got herself situated in the training room with the phone. "Hey there… Got any other big news you want to drop on me. You bought Dawn a car?"

"No luv, though you might ask Hank," he scoffed. Buffy giggled. "Uh, Buff… I'll talk to you in a bit but Dawn needs to talk to you now."

Buffy panicked, "She hasn't decided to stay has she?"

"No sweetness, she hasn't. Just let her tell you."

Buffy heard the changing of the phone and prepared for whatever her sister was going to throw at her now. "Hi Buffy."

"Hi Dawn…What's up?"

"Buffy… When did you realize you were stronger then normal?" the teen asked.

"I'm not sure. I did gymnastics and was a cheerleader so I was supposed to be strong… Why are you asking?"

Dawn bit her lip and closed her eyes, "I… Today I got really mad… I slammed the front door of Angel's place. It's all glass… Now it's all broken glass… I shattered it when I slammed the door."

Buffy blinked a few times trying to comprehend what her sister was saying. "Did you get hurt?"

"A little… I got glass imbedded in my arms. Cordelia cleaned the cuts for me," Dawn whimpered through tears.

"I don't know what to say Dawnie… I'm glad you weren't hurt badly and we'll get dad to pay for the doors. I know you're freaked out so I'm glad you trusted me enough to call… I guess…I guess when you get home we'll see about training…if you want to of course. Uh…" Buffy rambled. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Dawn asked quietly.

"For the fact that our blood is that similar that you have the slayer stuff too."

Dawn swallowed. "Tell me about when you found out…"

Spike slipped out of the office allowing the sisters to talk and bond. Lorn came and sat next to him as he stared into the room where his lovely was talking on the phone. "She's a strong one… She'll be fine… They'll be fine."

"Yeah," Spike swallowed sorrowfully. 

"Why so down?"

"You've got to be bloody kidding me?" Spike said irate. "Be basically tell me I'm going to be taken from everything I love in this god forsaken world, and I'm supposed to be what? Happy?"

"No… I said you had to keep faith that you would see them again," Lorn said with authority. "Don't forget that…or you won't see them again." The green man stood up and walked away. 

"Spike," Dawn whispered waving him over. "Buffy wants to talk to you." He got up and trudged into the conference room. "I'll be outside," the teen said and left Spike for all intensive purposes alone with Buffy. 

"Hello Sweetness."

"Have I told you how much I like hearing that?" Buffy almost purred.

Spike closed his eyes and pictured her with him. "Not recently," he muttered in a husky voice. 

"I love to hear you call me Sweetness, luv, pet and even slayer."

"How bout when I tell you how much I love you, how I'll always love, and I'll always be with you even when I'm not around?" Spike whispered.

"I love to hear that too… In fact I would love to hear it right now," she pled in a breathy tone.

"I love you Buffy. That will never change. I will always love you," he said and let silent tears fall down his face. "You and Bit mean everything to me. You are all I have in the world and all I love in the world."

"Spike…Come home…Tonight…Please… I need you… I love you… I'll keep my distance I promise. I just need to have you here, as near to me as you're comfortable with…" she pled. "I need to look in your eyes when you say you love me."

Spike cleared his throat. "I'll see… It depends on a few things here." He cursed under his breath, "Buffy… You don't need to see my eyes to know I love you. Just think back to that first night home, when I saw you walk down the stairs. Just think about the way I looked at you then, the way I held your hands, the way I spoke to you. That's how I want things to be between us. I treat you like you're the sun and the moon and you let me love you. You let me hold you gently. You let me hold your hands."

Buffy cried softly on her end of the phone, "I messed up so badly Spike. I'm so sorry."

"Hush pet. Now is what matters… The way you're trying to make things better for Bit, that's what matters."

"I love you Spike."

"I love you too Buffy. If we leave tonight, I'll call you."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

Spike hung up the phone and stared at it. In his gut he knew that was the last time he would hear Buffy's voice. She said she loved him and needed him. He really couldn't ask for more then that. He sighed and prepared for whatever was to come.

TBC…


	15. Home Again

Title: Home Again

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Angel watched with weary eyes as Spike packed up his things to leave. The younger vampire handed him a few bills for the repair of the front door Dawn shattered. "Spike, I don't need your money… Stay here for a few more days. Let Wesley test her reflexes and such. It's not like he's going to report this to the Council."

            "I know you mean well and I do appreciate letting me stay but Buffy needs to see the Bit," Spike muttered.

            "Are you sure it's not that you need to see Buffy?" Angel considered him.

            Spike tied his duffle bag tight. "Angel," he said knowing that he never addressed Angel by his correct name, "life will be more then complicated. Here I can have her say sweet things to me and want me from afar. I get home I become a reality again. Me as a demon, a vampire, a guy that walked away too. Going back to Sunnydale is not easy or fun for me and seeing Buffy is one of the big reasons why."

            "You think Hank isn't going to have words about his daughter up and leaving?" Angel said simply. Spike just gave him a look of ignorance. "Yeah that was lame."

            "Peaches, what is it that you think is going to happen?"

            "I don't know but I feel certain that if you leave tonight it's going to be bad," Angel groaned.

            "Yeah well…you and I both know that Fate gets you where you stand and chases you if you run…" Spike said like a philosopher. 

A cab pulled up front of the hotel with Dawn in it.  She tugged her backpack and suitcase out, hauling it up the steps with ease. "Guess one good thing is I'll never worry about not being able to open pickle jars and carry heavy stuff again," she said brightly to the vamps in front of her. 

"We'll see about that… I seem to recall Buffy having trouble with pickle jars," Spike smirked. 

"You know she just wanted you to use your fangs like a can opener," Dawn mocked. 

"Your sister is not that playful with me Bit."

"Well she will be now…or she better be," the teen fussed. "Only nice, sweet, fun treatment of Spike…not mean, nasty, manipulative using of Spike." 

Angel laughed thinking, 'The day Buffy doesn't have nasty uses for Spike will be the day you have a very unconscious slayer.'

"What was that mate?" Spike scowled.

"Nothing!" Angel smirked. Spike tilted his head. "Age appropriate material."

"Oh please," Dawn mocked. "Anya referred to Xander as her orgasm friend forever when they first started dating."

"Dawn!" Spike chided. "No need to repeat what the little ex-demon says without thinking…"

"Hey if it weren't for her Willow might not have realized she was gay," the teen countered.

Angel chuckled. "You're not helping Peaches," Spike growled. "I don't want her picking up on that sort of talk."

Dawn wrinkled her brow, "Yeah right. How often do you say 'Wanker' in a given afternoon? Like I need to hear you think a guy is big into masturbating in his spare time. Or how bout 'Who has the biggest wrinklies?' or 'You don't have the stones' or some reference to tackle. I'd say I hear a ton about the male genitalia from you alone."

Now Angel was actually laughing…a strange concept but true nonetheless. Spike just gapped at the teen not knowing what to say. He cleared his throat, "Fine I'll make an attempt to watch my language."

"That's not what I meant," Dawn shook her head. "I just mean in our little family everyone is pretty sexually blatant… It's not like I don't know you'll be doing Buffy when we get home."

Spike's eyes went big, "Hold it young lady."

            Dawn raised an eyebrow, "Young Lady?"

            "That's right… And you don't know jack about what's going to happen when we get home… Just to fill you in, Tara will be living with us for a while until I feel sure Buffy understands I'm not going to be bedding her!"

            Angel and Dawn looked surprised, glanced at one another then at Spike. "Why not?" Dawn asked. 

            "Okay… You recall the way things were before we left? You not liking your sister for using me in that manner? Me not liking your sister for using me in that manner? I'm not about to risk starting up that cycle again, especially not with you in the house for god sake," Spike growled running his hands through his hair. 

            "So you and Buffy aren't getting back together?" Dawn asked cautiously.

            "We were never together. Of anyone, you should know that," Spike said seriously.

            "But she loves you…I know she does. She told me so. And I know even when you hate her, you love her so why…"

            "Because Bit, its not that simple. There are some people you can love amazingly much but you just keep hurting each other and those around you. Maybe in time…Maybe if she's willing to wait…"

            Dawn began to tear up, "So you're going to punish her."

            Spike scowled, "That's not fair. I'm not punishing anyone. I'm just making sure I keep you as the priority…and frankly not my dick! You are what needs to be happy."

            "I thought we were going to be a family," she sniffed. 

            "Oh Nibblet," Spike said rapping his arms around her. "We are… We will be… I'm just not sure how that's going to look yet." The teen looked up at him with tear filled eyes, "We both love you and want the best for you. But your needs have to come first. You will always be loved and protected… Now go use those new found muscles to take your stuff to the car." Dawn nodded and headed for the door. 

            Angel looked Spike over. "You believe all that… You think your going to be able to stay away from Buffy living in the same house?"

            "Tara will be the buffer… Buffy and I have already talked about this. She knows what the conditions are. I hope she'll respect them," Spike answered. 

            "You weren't talking about Dru when you were talking about loving and hurting someone were you?"

            "No."

            "I'm sorry I didn't appreciate it… We were a good team despite it all," Angel worked over his jaw. 

            "Don't go all freaky on me Peaches… The four of us were family. You taught me everything I know about being a vamp from death to life. Hell you taught me a lot of what I know about sex too…you always were an exhibitionist," Spike smirked.

            Angel smirked back, "You need a break again, you're welcome here."

            "Thanks," the blond said as he swung the duffle bag to his bag. 

            Spike was a few steps outside when Lorn caught up to him. "Hey kid."

            "Kid? I'm over a hundred years old," Spike grumbled. 

            "Fine… Take this," Lorn handed him a cell phone, "in case of emergency… And remember what I said. You will make it back to your girls…just hang on to that, okay?"

            Spike looked into the sincere red eyes and nodded. "Okay mate… I'll always come for them." 

Lorn smiled, "And they will always come for you." With that the green man turned around and headed back into the hotel. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Spike tossed the phone at Dawn, "A gift from Lorn. Call your sis and tell her we're on our way home."

            "Don't you want it too be a surprise?"

            "No… You sister gets enough surprises in the form of demons and apocalypses."

            "You're no fun," she grumbled and dialed the Magic Box. "Hi Anya, its me… I understand." Dawn brought her face away from the phone and whispered to Spike, "She's with a customer." Some more silence as Spike turned onto the highway. "Hi Buffy…we're on the road." 

Spike could hear the excited squeal through the phone. He had to smile at the teenage like response Buffy was having to their return. She was really just a kid in a lot of ways. Maybe if things worked out…no remember what Lorn said…when things work out, he'd take her to the movies. He wondered if she'd ever seen 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show.' He chuckled at the thought of bringing toast for Buffy to throw at the screen.  Maybe he could get her a little yellow raincoat and a white bra to fill out the effect. 'Bad idea if I want to keep things… platonic,' he thought. His mind then wandered to the question of whether Buffy ever got to do the lover's lane thing, fogging up the car windows good and proper. 

"Yeah Buffy… he must be things about you, because he hasn't heard me say his name three times," Dawn said into the phone loudly finally getting Spike's attention off of the teenage dating customs and back on the phone conversation being had next to him. 

"Sorry…" he mumbled clearing his throat. 

"Oh yeah…he has thinking about you. If he could blush he would be," Dawn told Buffy with a smile. 'Say hi' she mouthed.

"Hello luv," he said loudly in the general direction of the phone. 

"We are so going to have to work on your telephone skills when we get home," the teen informed him. "So we should be home in a while. Love you… I'll tell him. Bye." Spike looked at Dawn quizzically as she hung up the phone. "She says she loves you and hopes you can talk when we get home." Spike stared ahead at the road. 

"So what were you thinking about when you weren't able to be reached by the call of your name?" Dawn dug.

"Just thinking."

"Not lusty thoughts of my sister waiting for you at home?"

"Bit."

"What?" Dawn said innocently. "You were so far gone. At least tell me the G version."

Spike ground his teeth, "Now don't get your hopes up." She nodded. He got slightly boyish, "I was thinking about all the things your sis might have missed dating as a teen because of the whole slayer thing… I was thinking maybe… in time…I could do some of those things with her." 

Dawn had a smirk on her face, "Would one of those things be having sex in the backseat of this here car?"

"DAWN!" Spike fussed. "Enough about me sleeping with Buffy. And you are so never dating if you think that is a teenage norm… I have a feeling Buffy will allow me to be the barer of the dating rules so you better watch it."

"Spike, I lost my virgin lips this year… I have no boyfriend… and I'm also very aware that if I snuck out of the house or snuck a guy into the house, like my sister started to do at this age might I add, you would kill first ask questions later," Dawn reassured him.

"Despite what your sister has done in dating (you've lived through how bad that got), there will be rules. 1) No boys at your window, 2) no boys in your room ever, without exception, 3) no sex with boys," Dawn began to laugh. "4) All boys must come by the house to be met if you go out with them only rather then in a group, 5) you'll be up front with me about any potential…sexual situations. I know I can't stop you but I really would rather you not get hurt badly in this area," Spike stated.

"So I can date if you meet him and deem him a nice non-vampire or demon boyfriend?" Dawn asked.

"Or player looking for a little action," Spike added. 

Dawn laughed again, "Can I have some rules?"

"If they're reasonable," the new father figure ventured.

"1) No flashing fangs unless they really are bad news," Spike already began to sulk. "2) Neither you nor Buffy is allowed to break stuff in front of the date in order to intimidate him, 3) no 'what are your intentions for my Nibblet?' speeches, 4) no following me on dates, 5) you actually listen to me if we talk about…sexual situations." 

"Fair enough," Spike said just as the Desoto's front left tired blew. "Bloody hell!"

They made it to the shoulder of the highway. Spike and Dawn exited the car on the passenger side. Spike started digging around the back of the car for a crow bar, jack, and spare tire. Dawn stood a bit chilly rubbing her arms. "Bit get you're coat," Spike instructed while he put the jack in place.

"I could just hold the car up for you," she said with a smile.

"That wouldn't look at all conspicuous on the side of the road," Spike chided standing again to get something from the truck. Dawn had her back to on coming traffic. When Spike turned around he saw a car weave right at them. "DAWN!" he screamed and threw her to the ground protecting her with his body. 

The drunk driver ran over Spike's legs and clipped the back of the Desoto. It rocked back and forth and the jack pushed out from under the car, sending it to the ground hard. 

Dawn squirmed out from under Spike. "Spike, I'm okay… He just drove off. He's not coming back," she said touching her head where she had hit it. "I'm just going to come home battered and bruised… Spike? Spike…" She said shaking him.

When he didn't respond she rolled him on his side. The front right side of Spike's face was covered in blood. "Spike?" she said in a whisper.

TBC….

A/N: Don't you just hate me? 

A/N2: My in-laws are in town so I won't be posting again until at least Monday. Sorry guys.


	16. Roadside

Title: Roadside

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            "Spike? Spike…Talk to me!" Dawn yelled at Spike's prone body. She quickly scrambled from the ground and ran to the still shaking car. Hands searching frantically for the cellular phone Lorn had given them earlier. Dawn smashed the redial button and went back to Spike's body. 

"Magic Box?"

            "Buffy!" Dawn screamed. "He's dead… He's dead. We're on the side of the road and he's dead. He promised he would always be there," she wept. 

            Buffy listened to her sister's terrified raving. "Dawn…Who's dead?"

            "Spike…Who else? Why does everyone die Buffy?" 

            Buffy was silent for a few seconds with round eyes. All of the Scoobies had gathered that evening at the store for their weekly meeting. Everyone was paying attention to the conversation being had, holding their breath. Tara immediately went to Buffy's side when the word Dead came up. She squeezed Buffy's hand to bring her back to reality. 

            "Dawn…is there still a body?" were the words she choked out in a complete daze.

            "Yes…" Dawn said absolutely terrified. "He's not dust."

            "Dawnie, listen to me. As longer as his body is still whole, there's a good chance he'll be fine," Buffy said calmly.

            "You don't understand. When he fell from the tower he was conscious in less then a minute. He's not conscious. He's not responding to his name. There's so much blood from his head," the teen said holding the vampire's hand on the side of the road. 

            "Dawn…Are you in the car?"

            "No… We had a flat and were changing it and this guy swerved into us. Spike threw me to the ground to protect me from the car. His legs look like they're broken."

            Buffy gulped and held Tara's hand harder. "Pick Spike up and put him in the car… You can't be that far out of LA since you called not to long ago."

            Dawn got frustrated. "So what? You want me to leave him here and hitch back to LA? I'm not leaving him."

            "No… I'll just get Angel to come pick you and Spike up and bring you back to the Hyperion until Tara and I can get there. I'm sure someone from his office can take care of the Desoto," Buffy said practically. Anya turned to Xander for his cell phone. She found Angel's number and dialed going into the next room.

"He's still bleeding," Dawn cried.

            "It's okay baby… Put the phone in your pocket and get Spike in the car then put on the hazard lights." Buffy heard the muffled sound of slight grunting and rustling of fabric. 

"He looks so dead Buffy. He looks like mom."

Buffy let tears fall from her eyes. "Dawn…find a t-shirt or something that you can wipe Spike's head with, then hold it to his head to stop the bleeding."

Anya came out of the training room with the phone at her ear. "Buffy," she said quietly. "Angel knows the road Spike was taking, he just needs to know if there are any markers by the side of the road."

"Dawnie… Anya has Angel on the phone. Look around and tell me if there are any signs to let us know where you are," Buffy said calmly.

Dawn looked outside the window of the car. "There's a marker that says 132 a little in front of us and a billboard for Hooters at exit 45A."

Buffy took her mouth away from the phone, "132 marker near a sign for Hooters, exit 45A."

Anya relayed the information to Angel. "Now I don't want to know why a man with your particular condition would know where the Hooters turn off is, but that is a different story," she chastised. "Just be sure to get someone who can fix a flat too." Buffy looked at the ex-demon expectantly. "Angel and a guy named Gun are on their way. I myself am worried about a man with the name of a weapon but it's not my place to criticize," she said as she hung up the phone.

"Dawnie, Angel and Gun are on their way to get you both okay?" Buffy said soothingly. "Anya's worried because the one man is named after a weapon," she said trying to lighten the mood.

"His first name is Charles. His last name is Gunn, G-U-N-N," Dawn informed her sister holding a piece of cloth to Spike's head. 

"I'll tell Anya… Are you hurt Dawn?" Buffy asked.

"I hit my head but it's stopped bleeding."

"Dawn, is there any blood in the car you can try to rouse Spike with?" 

"No, we were heading home… We didn't bring a cooler." Dawn touched her forehead then reached the bandage on the back of her arm. "Argg…" she grunted as she tore it a violently as possible to hopefully reopen to wounds. She only found she ripped out the fine hairs on her arm. "Damn it!" she cursed softly.

"What? What is it?" Buffy asked scared. 

"Nothing," Dawn said insistently knowing her sister was not likely to approve of using her own blood.

Anya looked at Buffy and handed her the phone. "Take it. Call Dawn back and you guys head to Angel's. Just call us when you arrive," she said sympathetically.

Buffy looked at her with big tear filled eyes. "Thank you," she barely whispered.

"Take our car," Xander offered tossing the keys to Tara. "We'll head to our place and wait for you to call." Willow nodded. 

"Dawnie… Angel's on his way. Do you know Xander's cell phone number?"

"Yes…"

"I'm going to hang up and you call me on that number. Tara and I are leaving now. We'll meet you at Angel's," Buffy said as calmly as possible. 

"Don't leave me!" Dawn cried. 

"Ask her the number she's on?" Tara offered.

"Dawnie, do you know the number of the phone you're on?"

"No…"

"Okay then you're going to have to hang up for a second and call us right back. I'm not leaving you. I just thought you'd want me there sooner," Buffy offered.

"Okay," the teen cried.

"It'll only take a second. You can always call back here if you don't get through."

"I'll call you right back."

"Alright."

There was silence in the store for a minute until the cell phone began to ring. "Hey there sweetheart," Tara said simply into the phone. "Sure… here's Buffy." Handing the phone over, the sisters began to talk again. Tara gathered her belongings including herbs for spells if they needed them. 

"Take anything you need. No charge," Anya said sincerely.

"Drive safely," Willow offered with a meek smile.

"We'll be waiting to hear," Xander said rocking back and forth on his feet.

Tara eyed him. "This isn't your fault. Wishing him dead for a long time does not mean you're responsible for him getting hurt," she said sternly. "We'll call when we get there and when we know something, in whatever order that comes." Xander nodded and put his arm around Anya. "Buffy," Tara addressed the slayer. "Lets get going." Buffy nodded and they left the store.

The remaining Scoobies looked at one another in awe. "She's not going to make it this time if Spike dies…" Xander said solemnly.

"Neither of them will," Willow answered. 

Dawn searched the car for a pocketknife or something to cut her arm with as she stayed on the phone with Buffy. "How ya doing, Dawn?" Buffy asked. 

"As well as can be expected when the person you love most in the world is bleeding on you, is unresponsive and at any moment you're afraid a police car will come by and take his body away," the teen responded curtly.

" 'Not well' would have sufficed."

"Sorry… I just don't know what's wrong with him. He shouldn't be out like this. He heals so fast," Dawn countered. "Ouch," she hissed sticking her finger on piece of glass from a broken beer bottle.

"What happened?" Buffy said scared.

"I cut myself." 

Just as Dawn was about to put her finger in Spike's mouth, Buffy said, "I know this may sound gross but if you're bleeding, see if he'll suck on the wound."

Relief swept over Dawn as she realized Buffy and she were on the same page. "I was just about to do that." Dawn made the cut a little deeper gritting her teeth and letting the blood well up into a good-sized drop before opening Spike's mouth.

She left her finger in his mouth for a minute before saying, "Nothing's happening… He's not sucking on my finger."

Buffy closed her eyes in dismay as the lights of the highway whizzed by. "It's okay Dawn. We'll think of something."

"It's not okay Buffy… It is not okay… Things haven't been okay since I was made. First mom dies, then you, now Spike. Nothing is okay!" she shouted into the phone crying in the process.

"Dawn," Buffy said shakily, "You had nothing to do with mom dying. If you weren't here, I would be alone… Do you understand? I would have nothing to live for."

"I don't want that Buffy! I don't want to be the thing you live for! I want you to have life that doesn't have Spike or me as the center of it. I want you to live because you want to," Dawn yelled as it suddenly began to rain like tears from heaven. "Live for yourself," she said quietly. 

            "I'm trying," Buffy responded. 

There was silence on the line for a long while. Dawn continued to squeeze her finger, dripping blood into Spike s mouth with little effect that she could see.  "Come on Spike…Wake up!" Dawn jostled him.  "OWW!" she hissed. Spike's fangs had descended part way down but his face hadn't gone bumpy.

 "Now what happened?" Buffy asked.

"He's somewhere in there…His fangs are down enough to cut me but he hasn't gone bumpy," Dawn replied. 

            "That's good…Massage his Adam's apple. See if you can get him to swallow." 

 "If it were you, I'd have no problem with the massaging but its me. Massaging Spike in any capacity seems off," the teen answered.

            "Okay then push down on his Adam s apple gently?" Buffy said for semantics' sake. 

Dawn took her fingers and pushed down gently on the protruding part of his neck and throat. She felt a slight bit of suction on her finger and then release. "I think it worked." 

 "Any other response?"

 "No…"  

 "Angel will be there soon." 

 "Yeah…"  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angel and Gunn drove quickly through the rain. "I warned him not to leave. I had a bad feeling about this…He's so stubborn," Angel fumed.

            "Calm down man… You need to be calm for Dawn okay. You can't be all agitated otherwise I'm driving them back and you're fixing the tire," Gunn challenged him. Angel gave him an incredulous look.  "What man? I've seen you psycho… I don't want her to. You will get your act together!" 

"_SHE _has lived me being psycho…" Angel sighed then tilted his head to the side to consider the younger man. "Developed a crush on our future slayer…  Fifteen Gunn," he shook his head.

            "Shut up!" 

"Doesn't seem so impossible for me to have fallen for Buffy, now does it?" 

            "You don't know what you're talking about," Gunn insisted. "I had a little sister. I know what its like to have to be the voice of reason when everything goes to hell." 

            "Still doesn't change the way you've been looking at her." 

Gunn just gritted his teeth and leaned back heavily in the seat. "She's too young for me." 

             "Right… The age spread is what six years… There was a two hundred or so year spread between Buffy and I… The heart wants what the heart wants." 

The younger man sucked on the inside of his cheek. "Can I drive them home?"

             "Yeah… I'll probably want to yell at his unconscious body the whole time," Angel answered. "Almost there…"  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Buffy," Dawn said nervously. "Someone just pulled up behind us… What if it s the police?" 

            "It won't be… It's Angel," Buffy said. Under her breath she muttered, "It has to be." 

A soft rap on the window by Gunn was met with the grateful eyes of Dawn.  "Buffy, it's them. I got to go. I'll call you soon." 

             "Okay… Dawnie?"

             "Yeah?" 

            "I love you."

            "I love you too." 

"I am so glad you aren't the police," Dawn said hugging Gunn. "And thank you for not being Wesley." 

Gunn hugged her back, trying not to take too much enjoyment from an awful situation.  "It's okay. We'll move Spike and I'll drive you both back. Angel's going to work on the car." 

The vampire soon appeared at the door.  "Hey Dawn. I'll have this bucket of bolts back in LA in no time…  Want to grab the bags while I get Spike?" Angel said to Gunn.

            "I'm carrying Spike," Dawn objected, "and don't fight me on this." 

            "Yes mame," Gunn replied and got the bags. Angel set to work on the tired as Dawn carried Spike's lifeless body to the other vehicle. "See you soon," he called to Angel.

             "Soon… Don't let her bleed herself for him," Angel warned.

            "Buffy said I could," Dawn answered from the back seat. "I've been feeding him as best I can," she whispered to Gunn.

            "Don t worry," Gunn called to Angel but then winked at Dawn. Once situated in the car Gunn looked in the rearview mirror. Dawn was stroking a nonexistent head.  I m never going to get used to seeing that… or not seeing that," he said with a smile getting back on the highway. 

Dawn smiled back and snuggled Spike into her side. "You have to be okay," she whispered to him.  "Who else am I going to tell about this 'Knight in shining armor' crush I'm developing to?"  Gunn's big brown eyes looked on hers for a moment and then looked back at the road.  "Oh yeah… You got to wake up."

TBC…


	17. Wake up Dead man

Title: Wake up dead man

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Buffy and Tara drove in silence for a long while. Buffy didn't feel like making the effort without hearing something from Dawn. Tara just allowed her friend the space she needed and drove quickly through the rain. 

            Gunn checked on Dawn in the rearview mirror as she attended to Spike's body, which he couldn't see. He wanted to have vampire hearing for this trip just to know what Dawn was saying. 

            For Dawn's part she was trying to say things to aggravate the vampire enough to rouse him. "I'm sure he's like ten years older then me and I bet he has tons of experience…" Dawn was whispering to Spike when she caught Gunn's eyes in the mirror again. She instinctively blushed at the attention and the possibility that he could hear her talking about him.   
            Gunn saw the blush rise over the teen's cheeks and felt himself grow warm. Why would she blush at him? Was she talking about him to Spike? Was she shy? Well he knew that wasn't true. The words that had come out of her mouth disproved that theory. Maybe she wasn't used to attention from a guy?

            "Ah… Is your sister on the road?" Gunn ventured.

            "Yeah… She was already driving when you picked us up," Dawn responded.

            "So I get to meet the infamous 'Buffy' after all," he said with an engaging smile.

            "Infamous…yes. Meet… I'm not sure. She will be slightly focused on arrival. If you thought I could be bitchy and controlling during this visit you ain't seen nothing till you see Buffy in action."

            Gunn looked back at her curiously, "I don't think you were being either. You were taking care of your own. I get that…I'm an orphan who's fought vampires for years. I got a bit of bad-ass in me when need be."  
            Dawn smirked, "Well at least someone understands me other then Spike."

            "I'm not going to get the whole older then time thing but as far as the family stuff that I get," he assured her. 

            "Thanks."

            "Your welcome… Be there soon."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "There's Angel's car," Cordelia said from the door propping it open for the vampire and key. 

            "Fred," Wesley said softly. "I know he's a bit gruff but you know the most biology… Would you take a look at him?"

            Fred swallowed and nodded. A very wet Dawn carried a very lifeless Spike into the conference room as directed. "Uhh… Get me some rubbing alcohol, gauze, towels, and scissors.

            "What are you going to do with the scissors?" Dawn asked frantically. Gunn came up behind her putting only an inch between them. Dawn's hand grazed Gunn's. She instinctively clutched it for dear life. He held on rubbing his thumb over the top of her hand in soothing circles. 

            "I need to cut open his pants… It looks like his legs were run over," Fred said going into clinical mode. 

            Dawn squeezed Gunn's hand harder as Wesley and Cordelia brought in the needed items. Fred soaked a cloth with alcohol clearing the remaining blood from the side of Spike's head. His scull was obviously cracked. "There will be intense swelling in the brain from an injury like this. A human would be dead… There's a scar on the side of his head over here. Do you know what that's from?"

            All color drained from Dawn's face. "His chip… The government put this chip in his head so he couldn't hurt humans… He tried to have it removed…that's the scar. Oh god… I hate Riley so much!" the teen ground out. "It's not bad enough that he flacks on my sister, he has to have that stupid chip in Spike's head that could be killing him or god only knows." 

            "Shhh…" Gunn soothed drawing her closer to himself having her lean on him. The hand that was told hers wound around her front as a backward hug. "We don't know anything."

            "We should see about getting him to a hospital or someplace with an ex-ray machine. In this case a cat scan would be best…" Fred said looking over Spike's legs. "They're definitely broken…but they're resetting wrong."

            "What does that mean?" Dawn asked hurriedly. 

            "The bones aren't healing in the right direction," Lorn said from the door.

            Dawn's eyes flashed with recognition. She launched herself at Lorn only to be restrained by Gunn. "You knew this was going to happen, that's why you gave us the phone…" Her eyes got bigger. "You were talking about this with Spike… He knew this was going to happen too. That is why he was so reassuring that everything would be fine and so sweet to Buffy before we left. He was wrapping up business. You told him he was going to die and you didn't try to stop it!" she screamed.

            Lorn took a deep breath and said, "He's not dead, is he?"

            "He may as well be… If he wakes up and that chip doesn't work Buffy's going to kill him no matter what. It won't matter how much I love him or need him or how much she supposedly loves him. It will be Angel all over again. She'll have to kill him to save the world without waiting to see if he could be good or restrained…Angel killed Jenny so of course Spike will kill someone that we love…" Dawn growled at the green man. "You could have stopped this!"

            "No he couldn't," Angel said from behind the host. "Spike said it before he left. Destiny finds you if you're standing still or if you're running away. No one could have stopped this."

            Dawn dissolved into a lump on the floor crying, "It's not fair…it's just not fair. Everyone I love dies. Everyone I need leaves. Everything I care about gets yanked away… I've been in human form for what a year and a half. How do humans do it? How do you not just kill yourself from the sorrow?" Gunn swallowed hard and sat down on the floor next to her. He slowly pulled her to him and let her cry on his crest.

            Cordelia ushered everyone else out of the room and shut the door. The shades to the windows were drawn shutting out light and life from the room. Gunn let Dawn continue to cry and whispered to her that things would work out some how and how strong she was. Dawn leaned away from Gunn's face and kissed him softly. She looked at him through shy eyes. "Close your eyes," she whispered. Gunn obeyed her direction. He was out cold in a second from Dawn's sharp punch. 

            Dawn coaxed the pocketknife out of Gunn's pocket that she had found while he was holding her. She crossed to the door and locked it noiselessly. Carefully pulling Spike off the table she leaned him back against her chest as she seated them on the couch. Dawn grabbed a rag that Fred had been using and bit down on it hard. She then cut her wrist long ways following a vein up her arm an inch. 

            The blood came out hot and fast. Dawn opened Spike's mouth and latched it on to her arm. She manually moved his Adam's apple to get him to swallow the blood. Spike's teeth elongated again and he grazed her flesh. Dawn smiled removing the towel a little and whispered in his ear, "There you go Spike. Drink up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Buffy is going to freak when she sees how despondent Dawn is," Cordelia said passing the floor. "I for one hate it when Buffy gets pissed so Lorn you and Angel are handling the slayer!"

            "We really should get him to a doctor's office so I can at least take a head ex-ray," Fred offered.

            "Dawn needs a few minutes to herself," Wesley offered.

            "A few minutes will be too much," Angel growled. "A smell blood!" In one quick kick the door gave way and they took in the scene. Gunn lay unconscious on the floor in a heap. Spike was sucking at Dawn's arm. And Dawn was barely conscious herself. "Damn it."

Angel pried Dawn's arm away from Spike's mouth having her blood spill over him. He took the towel from her mouth pressing it to her arm to stop the bleeding. "Fred! Come do this before I vamp out!" She nodded as he ran to the kitchen tugging Cordelia with him. "Heat as much blood as you can… We need to keep Spike drinking if possible."

Wesley and Fred were tending to Dawn as Lorn roused Gunn. "What happened?" he muttered looking around. 

"Dawn decided to give slayer blood to Daddy," Lorn said smoothly. 

"What happened to me?" Gunn asked.

"I'm assuming she punched you…and I believe that is your pocketknife," Lorn pointed at the knife covered in blood on the floor. 

"Oh god…I'm so stupid," the young man growled at himself. 

            "Hey… She trusted you enough to keep you here with her and to lean on you. Don't take the punch personally."

            "How do I get him to drink the blood?" Cordelia asked looking tupified as Fred finished a quick stitch job on Dawn's arm. 

            "We'll transfuse him," Fred said grabbing at beakers and tubes from her things. 

            "Can we do that?" Cordy asked.

            "We're about to find out," the small woman responded, preparing Spike for the blood.

Angel stayed out of the room doing his best to not get to close. He had tasted that slayer blood before. It was intoxicating. He wanted to feed with everything that he was. "I've got to do something," he groaned.

            "Call Buffy," Lorn offered.

            "I can't… She was supposed to be safe with me."

            "I'll do it," Gunn offered. "It's my fault… I should have seen it coming."

            "No Gunn… She's a Summers woman. You don't see a lot of what they have coming," Angel answered. "But if you want to call her that's fine."

"Wes how's Dawn?" Gunn asked before doing anything else.

"She's groggy and out of it. She'll need to sleep for a long while…but the blood loss isn't fatal."

"Thanks."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            The cell phone began to ring in the car. The caller id showed it was Angel's office. "Hey Dawnie… You made it there safe."

            "Uhh… Sorry this is Gunn… Charles… Whatever," he stumbled.

            "Where's Dawn?"

            "Resting."

            Buffy felt her skin crawl. "Why?"

            "She'll be fine… Wesley says it's nothing fatal…that's not the way I meant it. She's fine. Just needs to rest," Gunn said finally.

Her stomach dropped, "How much blood has she lost?"

            "What?"

            "She was bleeding herself for him before you arrived…I'm guessing she continued and that is why you won't tell me what happened," Buffy stated gruffly. "Put Angel on the phone."

            "Please talk to me… This is my fault. I'm the one that fell for it… She was so upset and she was crying so much I didn't realize she had gotten my pocketknife… This isn't Angel's fault. It's mine," the young man groaned.

            Buffy breathed deeply, "Charles… She's cut herself before, when she felt like she wasn't real… She would die to protect Spike like he would die to protect her…that's all that happened tonight. She got scared and she went for what she knew. This isn't your fault."

            "But she said…she said 'how do humans do it? How do you not just kill yourself from the sorrow?' I should have known," Gunn said so confused. 

            "No…I shouldn't have encouraged her to give him blood… We'll be there as soon as we possibly can be. Stop beating yourself up," she soothed.

            "Okay…"

            "Did she punch you?"

            "What?"

            "When Angel was sick and he needed the blood of a slayer I punched him with a metal pot on my hand to get his attention… I was just curious to know what she did to get passed you," Buffy commented.

            "She… She kissed me…then she punched me."

            "I'm sorry… If it makes you feel any better she's only ever kissed one other guy so…it is still special in a weird way."

            Gunn laughed a little, "She's like you…your humor is the same."

            "Yeah well," Buffy sighed. "So is our tendency toward the dramatic."

TBC…


	18. Light dimmed

Title: Light dimmed

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Buffy opened the car door before the car hadn't even stopped rolling in front of the Hyperion. Tara was about to yell at her for endangering herself only to realize Buffy was already half way up the stairs. Buffy took in the boarded up doors where the glass Dawn had broken was and the sounds of activity inside. Tara parked the car and watched Buffy throw the door open. "That's probably how they got broken in the first place," she muttered.

            "Buffy?" Angel's voice said haggard as he sat in lobby watching Gunn hold Dawn's hand in the conference room.

            "Where are they?" she snapped.

            "Dawn's in the conference room and Wesley, Fred and Cordelia took Spike to a doctor's office so Fred could ex-ray his head."

            "You have a doctor working for you now?" she asked.

            "Ahhh… no… I work for Wesley," Angel started to say as Gunn entered the room.

            "Fred is our residence genius on everything math and science related," the young man said. "I spoke to you on the phone," he extended a hand. "Gunn or Charles… whichever you like."

            "Buffy and this is… I left Tara."

            "Yeah, ya did…but I forgive you. Hi there… I'm Tinkerbell," Tara said to Angel.

            "Oh… okay…" 

            "Huh?" Buffy and Gunn both looked at her.

            "Spike nickname… Ya know… 'Peaches,' 'Nibblet,' 'Sweetness,'" she said pointing at Angel, Dawn then Buffy.

            "Sweetness?" Angel asked with big eyes. Buffy blushed slightly. "Big improvement over the whole in the wall," he said pointing to the patch job in Wesley's office.

            Buffy ignored the comment and headed for her sister. "Dawnie…" she said quietly kneeling beside her sister on the couch.

            "Buffy?" she whispered back.

            "Yeah Hun… Tara's here too."

            Dawn opened her eyes a little to see the witch before her. "I…I messed up…I just wanted him back," she cried to Tara.

            "I know sweetheart… We'll do what we can, okay?" Tara answered. 

            "I punched Gunn…" the teen said groggily, "and I cut myself…and Social services are going to take me away once they see the scar…"

            "No they won't," Buffy reassured her. "Slayer blood, remember? Tiny cut… Probably won't even leave a scar."

            "Really?" Dawn asked with pleading eyes.

            "Let's take a look," Tara offered.

Gunn went to object but Angel grabbed his arm. "They know what they're doing." Gunn just watched in wonder as Tara unwrapped the bound wrist to see the skin was already knit together.

"How did…" Gunn mumbled.

"She's part of the Slayer… Super fast, super strong, super healing," Angel answered.

Tara and Buffy smiled at Dawn. "We could already take the stitches out," Tara informed the teen.

"Really?"

"Really," Buffy said kissing her sister's head. 

"I'll make a healing ointment and we should be in business," the white witch commented. She looked over her shoulder. "You have a utility sink or something I can work at… I'd hate to make a mistake and ruin the table."

"Thanks for the consideration," Angel said deadpan. "I'll show up where you can work."

Buffy stroked Dawn's hair as she rested. Turning her head Buffy saw Gunn watching anxiously from the door. "Be right back," she whispered to Dawn, who nodded.

She stood and walked to Gunn. "You were sitting with her before I arrived… You can still do that."

"She's talking to you…She wasn't talking to me," Gunn admitted.

"She's probably embarrassed and slightly ashamed of what she did to you…" Buffy said looking over to her sister. She looked back to see the fear still in Gunn's eyes for Dawn. "Dawn will be okay. Really."

"I just…" he started to say when Dawn groaned. 

Gunn crossed to her fast past Buffy. Dawn blinked a few at him trying to focus on his face. "Hey there bright eyes," he addressed her. Buffy quietly stepped out of the room. "You scared me there for a while."

Dawn blinked a few more times. "Buffy and Tara are here, right? I didn't dream that?"

"No… Tara's fixing an ointment and Buffy," he turned to where the Slayer had been standing. His face fell a bit and he became nervous, "She must have gone to get something." They just stared at each other for a few moments. "If you want, I can go get her," Gunn offered and went to stand.

"No…" Dawn caught his arm. "I…" she shut her eyes. In a low whisper she said, "I'm sorry." She opened her eyes and stared into Gunn's big brown eyes. Her breath caught in her throat.

"You okay?" he asked worried.

"Yeah…I just… I shouldn't have… I'm a jerk," she said turning her eyes from him. 

"Dawn," he whispered. "Just answer me one question." She turned back to him. He shut his eyes and swallowed, "Did you kiss me because you wanted to… or was it just a distraction?" She didn't answer. He clinched his eyes shut more. 

Gunn started to pull away when he felt her breath on his face and the lightest touch of her lips on his. His eyes flew open to see Dawn pushed up on one arm to meet him. He touched her face and kissed her back, leaning her gently back on the couch. Dawn opened her eyes when Gunn pulled away. He smiled at her and touched her face. "You didn't answer my question," he smirked.

Dawn rolled her eyes, "You familiar with the expression 'actions speak louder then words'?"

"So that was telling me?"

She glared, "I wanted to." Gunn smiled big. "Just needed your ego stroked after…"

"Kind of," he said. "It also helps to know that I'm only the second guy you've ever kissed."

Dawn was shocked, "How do you know that?"

"Your sister was trying to get me to feel less guilty about this," he said pointing to her arm.

"Great… I'll have to thank Buffy for this particular humiliation," Dawn snipped.

Gunn moved himself to sit on the edge of the couch next to Dawn's side. "Why would that be humiliating?"

"I don't know it, just is!"

"You must be feeling better. The light of your eyes isn't as dim." Dawn blushed slightly. "I have to say I think watching you be embarrassed is one of the coolest things ever…" Dawn eyes flashed with defiance. "You turned the cutest color and when you get mad you turn another color…" 

Dawn reached for his sides and tickled him. Gunn quickly tickled back only to find she definitely had the upper hand. Dawn dug into a spot just below his ribs that caused him to lean forward in laughter. This positioned their heads right in front of one another. Her cheeks flushed. "Oh yeah… I like the different shades you turn," he whispered right before he kissed her. 

Gunn nibbled at Dawn's lips bringing her into an almost sitting position. Dawn's arms came around him as his hands framed her face while they continued to kiss. "You better not be doing that when Spike wakes up," Tara said from the door. The couple split apart guiltily. "The last guy she kissed got staked."

The expression on Gunn's face was priceless. "He killed him?"

"No…I did," Dawn replied. Gunn about leapt off the couch if Dawn hadn't had a hold of his mid section. "I dusted him."

"You were kissing a vampire?" he asked almost more freaked out by that concept. 

"I didn't know he was one at the time," she answered as Tara laughed at the conversation she started. 

"Wasn't he a little cold?"

"It was Halloween and I was wearing his coat. I just assumed it was because of the temperature."

Gunn decided to be smooth. He raised an eyebrow, "Well now I know you should have thought he was a vampire because no living male wouldn't warm up kissing you."

Dawn returned the volley, "Actually vampires warm up more."

"Anyway," Tara butted in again, shooing Gunn off the couch so she could get to Dawn's arm. "I'd keep the kissing to a minimum in Spike's presence. Don't want to tempt the chip." Gunn and Dawn nodded. Tara snipped the stitches in Dawn's arm before applying the healing ointment and wrapping it in gauze again. "There you go… Buffy and Angel know what you were up to so you don't need to hide it… Cordelia called to say they were on the way back from the doctor's office."

"Is he awake at all? He was sucking on my arm," Dawn offered.

"Not really honey… Fred thinks that the chip may have been hurt… Angel is talking about having some guy named Lorn tried to do what seems to me is the equivalent of a Vulcan mind-meld," Tara answered. "Maybe then we'll have an idea what we need to do to help."

Dawn set her jaw, "He knew this was going to happen!"

Gunn looked at her and stroked her hair, "He's a good man…demon…whatever. He helped you earlier. He can't help what the Powers ask."

She looked up at him with big eyes and nodded. "I know… I just hate the thought that they both knew there was a threat and didn't try to stop it."

"How could they know what form the treat would take?" Gunn asked her.

"Well, Lorn had the presence of mind to give us a cell phone for emergencies."

"Yeah…but doesn't that show he was trying to help the situation."

Dawn glared at him slightly, "This is part of that rational thinking process I'm trying not to use so I can stay angry."

Gunn wrinkled his brow as he sat down next to Dawn again after Tara moved. "Why would you want to do that?" he asked.

"I taught her that," Buffy said from the door. "Easier to be mad and lash out at a tangible thing than face the things that scare us." Buffy looked at Dawn hard, "That's part of the reason you left, remember?" Dawn looked a bit shame faced. "Charles, why don't you and Tara get a place for Spike to rest ready? Angel is awful at domestic things."

"I am not!" Angel insisted, calling from the lobby.

Tara led Gunn out who didn't really want to leave without a kiss goodbye but realized what Buffy said went. He just smiled goofily at Dawn as he hit the frame on the way out. Buffy smiled at her sister when they sat alone together. "Did a good job at making him fall all over himself for you," she batted her eyes. Dawn blushed. "He seems like a nice guy."

"He is," Dawn said simply with a smile. "He knows the score with the beasties of the world. He's been fighting vampires for a while and Angel thinks he can hold his own in battle." She bit her lip, "I don't think he's a ton older then me…"

"You're fifteen Dawn. You really want to worry about a boyfriend a few hours away?" Buffy asked.

"Spike once told me anything under five hours is do able. LA is way under five hours," Dawn answered. 

"Fine… We'll worry about rules later," Buffy huffed.

"Spike and I already have them set up."

"Really…When did this happen?" the slayer said to her little sister.

"On the way home…before…I think he knew before I did. I figured it would just go away since I was coming home… I don't think so anymore," Dawn said biting her lip again.

"So what are these rules?"

"No guys in my room ever, no guys at my window, no sex with guys, all guys must be prescreened if they take me out alone and I always have to be up front with him if things start heading toward sex with a guy." Buffy's eyes became round as she tried to speak. "We also set up rules for you guys."

Buffy quickly said, "There is no 'you guys' yet Dawn."

"That's not what I meant… I meant about me dating. He's not allowed to flash his fangs or go bumpy unless the guy is awful. You both aren't allowed to break things in front of dates to intimate them, no 'intention' speeches, no following on dates, and he has to actually listen if I talk to him about potential sex with a guy."

Buffy made a fish face again, opening and closing her mouth. "You… You're more comfortable talking to him then me?"

"About sex?" Buffy blanched and nodded. "Oh yeah… He may get mad and frustrated but he'll be honest… You…I'm not sure about that," Dawn admitted.

"Buffy?" The slayer's head snapped up to look at her sister. "He's going to be okay, right? We'll find away to make him okay?"

"I hope so Dawnie."

"I need you to promise me something," the teen said solemnly.

"What?"

"I need you to promise that if the chip has to be taken out or doesn't work anymore, you'll give Spike a chance to show you he's really changed," Dawn stated clearly.

"That depends if he wakes up biting people or not… When he thought the chip stopped working last time, he went out to kill," Buffy answered with tears in her eyes. "I don't want to… I love him. I don't want to kill someone I love again."

"Trust him… Trust me… Please!"

"Okay… If he has changed no one at home needs to know for a while. Give him a chance to prove to them to… We won't give Xander any reason to stake him…"

Dawn looked out into the lobby and saw Gunn. "So?" Buffy began. "Is he a good kisser?"

"You have no idea!"

"I think I can imagine," Buffy smiled.

TBC.


	19. Shift

Title: Shift

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

**A/N: Okay my experiment in tolerance worked. Buffy fans crack me up. No one had a problem with Angel (who died in his mid-twenties and has been alive for a couple _hundred_ years) watching Buffy from afar as a fifteen year old like a stalker and that he 'fell' for. However I drew the picture of Gunn as being twenty-one or twenty-two and you people get upset. I laugh in your general direction… It was a good image of the relationship Angel and Buffy had and now they have to watch it from another direction. I never said this was going to work or even continue… You will just have to wait and see.**

            "Remind me why you didn't come with us?" Wesley said in his polished accent to Angel as Cordelia, Fred, and Wes carried Spike's dead weight into the lobby. 

            Angel retrieved his child from their arms to take him to his room. "Because I wanted to be here for Buffy's arrival."

            "And has she arrived?" Cordy asked.

            "Conference room."

            Tara came out of Spike's room as Angel brought him in. The three other members of Angel Investigation stared at the blond. "Hi…I'm Tara."

            "Our witch for this evening…" Gunn said from behind her.

            "Watch it… I can make things uncomfortable for you," she said not looking back.

            Gunn's face fell. "How'd you do that?" Cordy asked.

            "Do what?"

            "Make him shut up."

            "Thanks Cordelia!" Gunn said getting touchy. 

            "I'm back," Lorn announced.

            "Wow," Tara and Lorn said in unison. "S/He care read auras…" they each said pointing at each other.

            "Okay…that's freaky," Cordy commented. 

            Buffy came to the door with a weak Dawn. "Who's that?" she whispered to her sister.

            "That is Lorn…the guy who's doing the mind meld with Spike."

            "Let me rephrase that…what is he?" Buffy asked.

            "Hell if I know…but you sing and he can tell you 'your path' or crap like that. Everyone made Spike do it because of how mood swingy he's been about you this week."

            "What'd he say?" the slayer asked like a teenager.

Tara finally noticed them standing there. "Come on out guys… I need somebody I know in the room."

Buffy smiled. "I'm guessing you're Fred."

"And you're Buffy," Fred responded.

"Yeah… So can you tell me what's wrong with Spike?"

"We reset the bones in his legs and they've already started to mend themselves. Wesley says he thinks it's because of Dawn's blood… The crack in his skull has been mending itself faster then the swelling in his brain has reduced…so that could explain why he's still under."

"And the chip?" Buffy asked carefully. 

"Is it damaged?" Dawn asked next.

"I don't know… But it does appear to have moved a short distance in his brain itself. It looks like they attached it to his impulse control section of his brain. It's still in that section but it appears to have cut into the tissue and traveled an inch or so. I wouldn't have even known if I didn't see some irregularity in the tissue…" Fred bit her lip and then continued, "I know what it does and I know what kind of guy everyone says he was before the chip, but it won't last forever. The circuitry will break down and could make him brain dead… I think we should get someone to take it out."

"NO!!!" was the general cry in the room.

Dawn looked around and said, "What if we don't tell him?"

"What?" Buffy looked at her curiously.

"He believes he can't hurt humans… Why not let him continued to believe that? You know that whole idea that a mouse won't keep hitting the bar if they get shocked. He doesn't try to hurt humans because it hurts him. Let him think the surgery was for his injury," she offered. "Keep the chip and in a few days we'll know."

"He could eat a school bus of kids by then," Cordelia snapped.

Dawn walked right up to her, "You saw him with me this week. You saw him take care of me with blood running down my arms. Never one flicker of vamp, yet Angel had yellow in his eyes... I don't register as human on that chip and he has never hurt me."

"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.

"His fangs cut me in the car and in the conference room…no jolt… There is no reason to believe he hasn't changed and tons of reasons to believe he has… Object one: my sister. Spike hasn't killed her and he can. He killed two slayers in the past and even though he knows the chip doesn't work on her, he hasn't killed her or tried to… Though god knows for what she put him through I'm surprised."

"Thanks Dawn," Buffy glared.

"Don't mention it."

"So you're saying neither of you register on that thing and you're both still here?" Cordy asked. 

"That's what I'm saying… Not tried to kill Angel either… Angel isn't human. He could have tried there too."

"I can always put a suppression spell on him so that if while he's waking up he's won't be more animalistic we'll be protected," Tara offered. 

"You can do that?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah… I was trying to research different ways to decrease his…feralness… when it came to Dawn…that mother protecting its cub thing was in full effect before they left."

Dawn walked over to Lorn, "When you read Spike you saw a lot of stuff that you didn't mention to us…some you mentioned to him. Do you get an idea of what would happen if we took out the chip?"

"Some idea but I can find out," he said and headed for the bedroom. Buffy, Tara and Dawn followed suit. 

Spike lay unbearably lifeless on the bed, his legs and head bandaged. Buffy's stomach sank and choked back a sob. "It's okay Buffy," Dawn said sweetly. Her older sister turned around in her arms and received a hug. 

Dawn nodded to Lorn as he sat down on the bed. He placed his hands on Spike's head and neck to read the vampire. Lorn was flooded with images and thoughts belonging to Spike, none of the glory of the massacre of innocents. Only images of Buffy, Dawn and another woman with the girls, he assumed to be Joyce, their mother. There were images of fighting but with Buffy against demons rather then with demons against Buffy. He did see the occasional stray thought of snapping someone's neck…but that was no worse then many humans. Primarily Lorn felt Spike's amazing sense of himself once he was given the role of Dawn's guardian. He was a man in need of definition, a role… a part to play, without that he was lost. Spike liked being a caregiver. He did it with Dru their whole relationship. It was where he felt the most comfortable. As long as Spike could take care of someone he loved he wouldn't get lost in mayhem. 

Lorn opened his eyes and breathed out. "Take the chip out."

"What?" Buffy said simply. That was the last thing she expected. She knew she trusted Spike with the people he loved and she loved but in the world she didn't believe he would be able to resist the temptation. 

"Oh ye of little faith," Dawn mocked.

Lorn smirked, "Your boy just needs the boundary that comes for caring for another. He killed humans to feed himself and Dru. He liked to kill and fight, but he can still do that on the other side. It's the fight that drives him…not the death. He didn't know where he belonged so he fought it. You have no idea the peace he feels now that he is in charge of Dawn. He has a place as a caregiver again…he cherishes that. The irony here is as long as he is allowed to care for someone he loves he'll be fine living in the shadows of the light."

"Are you telling me that by nature Spike is a caregiver?" Buffy looked at him quizzically. 

"He had siblings he helped raise. When he was turned, it was by a sire that was crazy and needed constant attention and care. Losing her was more then he could bear. Taking care of Dawn this summer gave him purpose again. Being her guardian now gives him a defined role in the world," Lorn spoke smoothly as if he had known Spike his whole life. 

"SEE!" Dawn chastised. "I told you."

Buffy looked at Lorn through hooded eyes, "Will you tell them? I don't know if they'd believe me."

"Sure," the host replied.

            "What's the verdict Lorn?" Gunn asked simply.

            "Take it out…" Wesley looked at Lorn hard. He just shrugged, "He's become the ultimate rebel…fighting against his own kind."

            "That's not good enough," the Brit said clipped.

            "No thoughts worse then a human. Very satisfied with his roles as guardian and gets his violence fix from fighting with the White Hats… In other words he'll probably test the boundaries of being without it…" Lorn turned to Buffy, "There's some guy in your group that verbally goes after Spike a lot. He needs to worry about getting knock around a bit. Here's the big 'But' folks. But he'll be otherwise satisfied to know he's not toothless. He couldn't cause Buffy or Dawn the pain of knowing he failed them. That's the way he would see feeding…as failing them."

"Your telling me the man I spent years with and massacred with isn't going to do just that when this piece of hardware is removed?" Angel asked spitefully.

            "Just cause your demon's an ass doesn't mean Spike's is!" Dawn snapped. Angel blinked rapidly. "You racked up a huge body count in Sunnydale while you were Angelus. Spike had been there what three or four months before you turned. He came to heal Dru, not massacre and that is what he did."

            "What about the Judge?" Angel snapped back.

            "Oh please…Dru and you know it," Buffy got in on the act. "Spike liked the world and wanted it to continue. That's why he switched sides. You just wanted to suck it into hell."

            "Hey…Not me…Angelus," Angel corrected.

            "Whatever… Point is things changed when he came to Sunnydale. He's self serving yes…but he isn't out to destroy the world like some demons I know," Buffy countered. 

            Tara interrupted the annoyed stare off, "I'm glad I wasn't around when you two dated."

            "You have no idea," Cordy quipped. "It was pretty much duck and cover."

            "And then death and destruction," Dawn added. "Got to love those good old days," she smiled at Gunn.

            "Back to Spike," Fred ventured. "I may not trust Spike but I trust Lorn. If he's read him and believes its safe, that's good enough for me."

            Gunn nodded, "I've seen him with my girl and she with him. He would die to protect her."

            " 'My Girl'?" Cordy asked.

            "Another topic," Buffy stated shooting up a warning glare at Gunn that said, 'not now!' "What do you think Cordy?"

            She considered the slayer for a minute, "I know it wasn't long ago that he had Angel tortured…but I have to admit that over all Faith did more damage to the human population then Spike since I've known them both." Cordelia turned to Angel, "You had no problem giving her a second chance."

            "She's human," Angel argued back. 

            "With the Power of the Slayer and walking in the dark… I think Wesley would agree his scars aren't any less real because she's human. Besides you slipped right down the slippery slop last year as Angel not Angelus and we didn't stake you," Cordy stated. "And when you regress to your baser self on occasion we don't dust you… I'd say as far as acceptance of former murders we're pretty good…" When he continued to huff she said, "Angel, he got dressed in a suit and tie to take down Hank! That has nothing to do with the chip and you know it."

            Angel stared at the room in defeat, "Wesley?"

            "I don't like this anymore then you do but I can't rationalize not extending the same grace to him that we do to others… We'll take precautions and go from there," the watcher replied.

            "Wes and I both went a little Shining on Fred earlier this year. Under the influence or not, evil lurks in the hearts of all men," Gunn said simply. 

Angel sighed. "Where and when?"

            Fred looked at him, "The teaching hospital downtown. I've told a coroner I know we have a cadaver with a computer chip in his brain. He's willing to remove it."

            "You did this when?" Angel asked.

            "At the office. I could see enough damage in the brain that prolonged exposure would make him a vegetable. I just thought it was cruel to doom someone to an eternity as a vegetable…" Fred said with sad eyes. She then turned to Buffy, "We can take him over now if you like." 

            "Let's go…" 

TBC…


	20. Spike

Title: Spike

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

"Where did you get this cadaver?" Dr Hamilton asked Fred.

            "I knew him… I always thought he was just a conspiracy theorist until he died. I found an ex-ray of his head… so I did my own… This is what I saw," she said showing him the film. 

            "Fascinating… You'll be taking the body and the chip I'm assuming… I just want a peak. I don't want the government showing up," the doctor informed her.

            "Not a problem," Angel said from the corner. Dr. Hamilton was equally afraid of the man in the corner as the government so he just nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                       

            "How long will this take?" Dawn asked from the operating room window.

            "Not sure," Buffy replied. 

            "You think we're doing the right thing?" 

            Buffy was floored. Dawn had never expressed an ounce of worry over Spike's condition before. "Having second thoughts?"

            "No…it's just… I'm afraid Xander's going to stake him."

            "Never happen…He'd have to get through me first," the slayer informed her little sister. 

"Ya know you're going to have to discuss the dating Charles thing through with Spike."

            Dawn sighed, "I know… I'm not expecting this is last long. Either Spike will say he's too old, totally overlooking how much older he is from you, or Gunn will realize how young I am and it won't happen."

            "I don't know…He was pretty enamored with you from what I saw. He's probably getting the third degree right now from Cordelia and Wesley."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                       

            "Are you out of your mind?" Cordelia asked Gunn exasperated.

            "What? You wanted an explanation for the 'my girl' statement and I gave you one. End of discussion," he responded.

            "What was it you said about Buffy and Angel and their age difference?" Cordy snipped.

            "You haven't a leg to stand on sister… You and your thing with Wesley when you were in high school," Gunn got very close to her and whispered, "And don't pretend there is nothing between you and Angel. I know better…I've seen it."

            "I don't know…"

            "I said don't pretend… We aren't given a lot of time in this world because of what we know and who we fight. I know she's young. I can't help that. So far Angel has been on board as well as her sister and Tinkerbell. I have no idea how Spike's going to respond…Its not like I'm picking out china or planning for her to go to college in LA. It's just been a while since I was attracted to anyone enough to notice," Gunn stated. 

            Cordy bit her lower lip. "Fine…But when this starts to interfere with work, we're going to have words."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                       

            Fred stood in scrubs with Dr. Hamilton watching carefully the operation to be sure Spike didn't wake up and give the doctor a heart attack. "Remarkable…" the doctor sighed. "What happened to him anyway? His skull is cracked."

            "Drunk driver ran him down."

            "You don't sound convinced…"

            "Well…I mean…there's a chip in his head…" Fred said to cover. 

            "It'll be out in a minute," Dr. Hamilton commented as he continued to work on removing the chip. He had be given specific instructions to leave the brain as unharmed as possible because of 'further testing' they were going to do. 

Out of the hole in Spike's head came the pair of tweezers with the chip in between. "There… That thing is detailed."

Fred offered a plastic bag to the doctor to drop the little piece of metal circuitry into. "Close him up doc," Angel said from the door. Dr. Hamilton nodded stoically and turned his attention back to Spike's lifeless body. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                       

"Wesley."

"Angel?" Wesley said into the phone. "Why are you calling?"

"He's removed the chip. Do me a favor. Make sure the tranquilizer gun is loaded just in case."

"Already done… Angel…Are you okay?"

The older vampire sighed. "Having Spike here was like the better times when we were a family. Now Spike has another family with Dawn and probably someday Buffy… When he gets better, my family is gone again."

"A lot has happened with you and Spike not to mention you and Buffy. They can't stay here. They have a support system back in Sunnydale to help them raise Dawn… I think… I think we are forming our own family here Angel. Because of all that happened last year you may feel out of the loop but…" Wesley tried to explain.

"I know… I know… I just can't help feeling that things will never be…"

"…Right between you and Cordelia again?" 

Angel felt transparent, "Yeah…I guess."

"You've known her longest and seen her grow the most. She's always going to be the one you love most," the watcher said lightly.

The vampire cleared his throat. "I better get back…"

"Sure."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                       

Angel and Buffy carried Spike into the hotel and passed the on-lookers. They settled him into one of the floor level rooms. Buffy had agreed to leave Spike in the barest clothes possible for transport since carrying him with his duster on was way too heavy. 

Dawn and Buffy flanked either side of the unconscious vampire. The gauze on his head and the splints on his legs made Spike look so frail. Dawn began to cry. "He got hurt to save me," she muttered softly. She met Buffy's eyes, "He loves me a lot."

Buffy nodded, "Yeah…He does. He'd die to protect you."

"He's going to be okay, right?" the teen asked, very much looking her age. 

"I hope so… Could you get Tara for me?"

"Sure."

When Dawn had left Buffy turned her eyes to Spike, "Okay love… We're working together. No fighting… It's time to wake up. I can't do this without you. We've already established that. I need you…not just for Dawn, but for me too." She leaned down and whispered, "I love you," then kissed his lips. 

Tara stood in the doorway. "You needed me?"

Buffy let the tears fall from her eyes. "Shut the door please." Tara did as she was asked. "Is there any way you can help me climb in his head like Lorn did? I want to feed him but I want reach his mind too."

Tara bit her lip. "I really don't think that's a good idea. Lorn was a passive person with no emotional interest. Too much has happened between you for Spike not to feel like it's an invasion…that you've raped his mind," she said with a quiver in her voice.

Buffy nodded. "I don't want to push him any further away… I don't want to violate his mind…" Tara nodded. "Is there a way for you to… No that would be an intrusion too… I'm…I'm going to cut my self just to warn you. Could you stay in the bathroom so if I need help I can call you?"

"Sure Buffy."

Buffy stared hard at Spike's prone body. First she sat him up and crawled up next to him. "Small first then more." She cut her finger then opened Spike's mouth and put it in. She laid the finger on his tongue directly so he could taste it. 

The slayer then settled herself face-to-face with Spike, wrapping her legs around his middle. "Come on out Spike… You love the taste of Slayer's blood." No reaction. Buffy bit her lip. "Come back to me…please." Spike still wasn't sucking on her finger. "Spike! Swallow!" she demanded. Tentatively he did attempt to do just that.

Buffy's eyes darted back and forth for some recognition. None. She bit her lip hard enough to make it bleed. "Suck on my bottom lip!" she ordered and began to kiss him. Spike sucked her lip into his mouth and touched it with the tip of his tongue. Buffy shut her eyes and savored the feeling clutching him, pulling him closer to her. She winced when one of his fangs cut her lip. 

Amazingly Spike's face didn't get bumpy. The demon wasn't active, just the natural change of teeth to help feed. Buffy took the opportunity and placed Spike's mouth over her other vampire bites. "You need to feed love… Bite me."

He didn't bite. His tongue sort of licked at the spot and then stopped. He was so weak but he managed to nuzzle the area. "Bite Spike!" He only lightly kissed the spot on her neck. Finally Buffy decided to try what mother's did with nursing babies and offered him the other side. 

She cut her neck shallowly to bring blood to the surface. This time when Spike sucked and licked at her neck he lapped at blood. He let his fangs graze her neck slightly and sucked harder at her throat. Buffy moaned in response feeling very warm and connected to Spike for the first time in forever it seemed.

For Spike's part, only part of him knew what was going on. It was as if he was in a dream and he wasn't ready for the dream to be over. The feeding took a surprisingly quick turn from a near mother/child scene to a love scene. Spike licked sensuously at Buffy's neck kissing and sucking periodically. His fangs would cut a little more and Buffy would moan a little more, never in pain but in enjoyment. She felt so warm pressed up against him. His hands played a across her back lightly. He couldn't figure out why he wasn't getting hard since this was the best dream he'd had in months. Buffy was allowing him to take her softly and she was offering her blood as well as her body. 

"Bite me…please," she whispered in his ear. "Stop teasing."

Spike gasped. It felt so real. If it were real though he would be hard as a rock and ready to cum at her words. "Do it!" she demanded. Spike relented not liking 'dream Buffy' to become too much like 'real Buffy.' He made one last long lick and felt Buffy quiver before biting down. Hot warm blood filled his mouth and he drank deeply. Buffy was whimpering. "I love you… I love you…" she recited like a mantra. 

His hands wandered to the front of Buffy's body touching her breasts as he sucked at her neck. "Oh God Spike…Yes!" she cried in his ear and bit his earlobe. The sudden sensation jolted him everywhere. Spike stopped sucking momentarily to take in what his senses were telling him. He was very much awake and this was very real. 

TBC…


	21. Drink

Title: Drink

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Buffy felt Spike's hand grab hers, which was caressing the front of his jeans. Her blood was on his mouth as he stared at her. Blood began to trickle down her neck. Spike slowly leaned in licked the line away and cleaned the injury. He leaned back out to stare at her.

"I…I…I couldn't let Dawn give you anymore blood…and…and I wouldn't ask anyone else…" Buffy muttered. 

Spike didn't say a word. He just blinked a few times. "Thank you," he said almost coldly. But something in his eyes gave her a little hope, then suddenly it was gone. Whatever tie she felt to Spike moments before was now cut.

His hands were at her hips in a second startling her; Spike moved her from his lap. She watched as he went to stand. "No… Spike wait…" 

She didn't get it out in time. Spike had put his weight on his legs. "Blood Hell!" he screamed and collapsed on the ground. 

Buffy helped him up. "Your legs are broken. The driver ran over them."

Spike's face hardened. "Do I have to be in a wheelchair again?" he ground out. 

"I don't know," she said with tears in her eyes. Being in the chair had been the most emasculating experience for him in his entire existence she knew. "Hopefully with my blood and Dawn's you'll heal quickly… Your skull is almost entirely…They had to reset your legs because they were healing too rapidly."

Spike didn't look at her. "Say something…Please," she whispered.

"I told you I didn't want that between us now… I know that my behavior was sending the wrong signals but…" he uttered.

Buffy swallowed convulsively. "We weren't… I had just started to… I'm sorry. Please don't pull further away from me."

He met her tear filled eyes; they were so pained. 

Tara took the opportunity to slide out of the bedroom toward the door. Spike tilted his head to watch her leave. "Glinda?"

She stopped short, "Hi Spike."

"Hi…what were you doing in the bathroom?"

She started to open and close her mouth frantically. "Ya see…Well… Dawn…"

"What about Dawn?" he asked sternly of the two women.

"She bled herself for you earlier…I little too much," Buffy said quickly.

"I didn't want Buffy to be admitted to the hospital again," Tara said firmly.

"Again?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter," the slayer commented.

"Yes…it does!"

"I'm going to let you two work some things out… I'll talk to you later," Tara said and left the room. 

Spike vacillated between being mad that Tara left him alone with Buffy when she knew that he wanted her as the buffer and being glad she was gone so he could hash things out with Buffy. "Hospital?" he asked.

Buffy's eyes pled to let the subject drop. He would have none of it. She looked down at her hands. "Me…not Dawn…Angel…a couple years back… He nearly bled me dry…He was sick. He needed my blood. I forced him but… Just couldn't have both of us, you and me, out of commission for Dawn." She watched Spike's jaw set. "Please…please don't get mad again. We started talking. We were starting to be okay."

Spike's jaw began to tremble with anger and fear mixed together. "I don't feel right Buffy." He looked her straight in the eye, "I think the chip isn't working anymore."

She stared back and said the words he never expected to hear from her. "We took it out… I made them take it out… It was causing brain damage. I… I trust you."

His face gave none of his amazement away. He just blinked rhythmically at her. "Peaches didn't have a problem with that?"

"He did… Fred realized there was brain damage from the stupid thing and told us to take it out. It was cruel to let anyone be a vegetable for eternity. Lorn sort of took an inventory of your thoughts. He said to take it out too. In the end we argued a lot but the grace that is extended to Angel and Faith was going to be extended to you too."

This time he stared hard into her eyes, "They have souls. I don't."

"It doesn't matter," Buffy said quietly. "You've been more human then most humans I've met in the last year." 

She hid her eyes from him. "Lorn has an interesting theory on you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Spike growled, "Ya gonna tell me or not?"

Her eyes met his, "Your nature is not a killer but a caregiver. As long as you have someone to care for you have definition to your existence…it calms your demon."

"Are you insane?" 

"What?"

"You based the safety of everyone you love on that! Yeah I took care of Dru sure but at the same time I also killed hundreds of people… Put the blast thing back in!" he demanded. 

"No…you can do this. I know you can."

"Buffy…I'm not an alcoholic, who if I get fall off the wagon life sucks…If I fall off the wagon someone dies!"

The slayer set her jaw and stared at him. "You haven't killed me."

"I'm in love with you. Of course I didn't kill you!" Spike yelled then stared at her. He closed his eyes, "I shouldn't have said that."

"Why?"

"That will only complicate things."

Buffy sighed, "Dawn is outside dying to see you awake and safe."

"What about Bit? You aren't worried one night I'll get hungry…" 

"Never crossed your mind yet and she's not quite human," Buffy countered. "Your chip didn't activate with her either."

"You don't know that," Spike snipped.

"Actually I do. Fangs cut her arm while you were feeding."

"I'm going to be sick," he said grabbing for a trashcan. 

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? You're talking about me bleeding Nibblet… Oh god…I can never call her that again," Spike said as he started to sweat. 

Buffy rushed to the bathroom to get a wet washcloth to cool off Spike's brow. "Lay back," she instructed. She climbed onto the bed with him. Buffy propped herself up on the headboard then positioned Spike back against her chest. Her hands wove into his hair and stroked it gently. She put the washcloth on the back of his neck. "I love you," she whispered as she leaned down and kissed the top of his head. 

"Buffy…" he began.

"Shhh… Just relax and feel better," she murmured happy to have him awake in her arms, even if he'd be there for just a little while. 

They sat together silently for a long while. When Buffy thought Spike was asleep she slipped the washcloth off his skin and wiped her neck to remove excess blood. "Ouch," she winced. Inadvertently she reopened the wound. 

Spike's eyes flew open at the smell. He began to tremble on her chest. She looked down when she saw him shaking. He was slipping in and out of game face rapidly. "I…I can't help it," he murmured almost pathetically. 

Buffy swallowed and leaned Spike up. She positioned them back the way they had been sitting when he had awoken. Spike couldn't object because of the intense desire he had to drink. "It's alright," she soothed. "The cuts already open…Just drink… I…I won't touch you…that way."

Spike looked feral and scared at the same time as Buffy brought his head to her neck gently with her hand. He fought with his demon back and forth as he tentatively licked at her neck. With her blood on his tongue he relaxed in human guise and drank slowly at first. He let his tongue move into the groves of the bite on her neck to make it bleed more without his fangs. 

Buffy was doing her best to stifle moans as Spike lavished attention on her neck, nibbling, licking and sucking at it. She also did he best to ignore the hard lump in Spike's jeans that she was pressed up against. Spike was using all his strength not to let the demon out and Buffy was doing everything she could not to grind her body against that very tantalizing hard on. 

Spike bit lightly into Buffy's flesh to get more blood flowing in his mouth. Buffy moaned unable to stifle the reverberation. He clutched her to him running his hands through her hair. She offered more of her neck and ran her hands up and down his back pressing her lips to his throat. 

After a particularly long drink Buffy bit down on Spike's throat. His whole body surged with energy and growled, "I love you…I love you so much," against her skin. 

Buffy had begun to rock against him unconsciously. When she felt her body tighten in preparation for release she stilled her movements. Spike looked up at her. "I'm sorry," she whispered and held him loosely. 

Spike knew she had been close. He knew her body and how it moved when it was ready to come undone. There were no words to describe the level of intimacy there shared staring at each other in those moments. He couldn't believe she stopped because she didn't want drive him away. 

One long lick of her throat and she stopped bleeding. Spike sucked on his lips and looked deeply into Buffy's eyes before he leaned in and kissed her chastely. "Thank you," he whispered. This time the words were full of emotion and his gaze revealed longing. 

They both panted for a few minutes staring at each other, not letting go of the lose hold they each had on the others body. Spike made no attempt to remove Buffy from his lap but instead drew her to himself and hugged her sweetly. Buffy relaxed into his grasp and took comfort in being able to hold him freely. Spike pet Buffy's hair as he closed his eyes and breathed in her scent. 

"I'm sorry," Buffy muttered crying on his shoulder.

"For what, luv?"

Buffy pulled back to look him in the eye. "For not letting it be sweet and soft between us… I could have been happy here… in your arms."

Spike shut his eyes and shook his head. "Can't change the past anymore then I can," he whispered as he wiped one of her tears away with his thumb. 

Buffy looked down and let the tears fall straight down. In almost no voice she asked, "Will I ever get to be here again or has that possibility left with the first bite?"

"I don't know, luv," he whispered. Buffy began to sob soundlessly, her shoulders shaking. Spike's heart constricted. "I think…I know why you stopped… It means a lot. You were actually paying attention to the way _I wanted_ things to be between us…" He pulled her face up to look at him. He shrugged slightly, "That gives me hope."

Buffy nodded and swallowed a few times as she drew him into another hug. "Thank you… I… You were nearly gone tonight. Dawn was so scared on the phone and I just… Xander gave us his phone and car so we could come… You were nearly gone," she muttered. "And…and I wouldn't have ever known what this felt like," her tears returned. 

Spike held her protectively to him. "I do love you Buffy."

"I know… I love you too… But it may not be enough; I know that too," she said through tears. 

            "I don't want to hurt you anymore," he said cupping her face in his hand. "I hate to see you in pain."

            "Oh god…" Buffy started to sob.

            "What? What did I say?"

            "You're reciting Giles's speech before he left," she whimpered.

            Spike half grinned and kissed her lips lightly. "Not really… I'm moving from my crypt to your house, not to London."

            "Promise?"

            "Promise!" This time he kissed the tip of her nose. "Now let's see LilBit before she completely freaks out."

            "Good plan…"

TBC…


	22. Negotiations

Title: Negotiations 

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Buffy opened the bedroom door to invite her sister back inside. The lobby occupants stared expectantly… all except Dawn who was looking at Gunn. She had just become aware that in the midst of her pacing and freaking Gunn had steered her to a couch in the lobby where he put his arm around her so she would cease her perpetual motion. Buffy looked at the young couple half amused and half annoyed. "Dawn!" she snapped.

            The teen's eyes faced forward quickly. Gunn removed his arm from her slowly nudging her to stand. "Your boy is waiting," he said softly. 

            Dawn was completely a flutter. Tara had told them that Spike was awake but that he and Buffy needed a few minutes to themselves. Those minutes had dragged on for the teen. A couple of times Dawn went to Tara to say, "They're not having sex, are they?"

            With a sigh Dawn stood and walked to the bedroom holding her favorite vampire not understanding why she was nervous. Buffy pulled her in lightly since she seemed stalled in the doorway.  "What's wrong LilBit?" Spike looked at her curiously. "Seen a ghost?"

            The tears fell freely from that point on. She quickly climbed on the bed with him and cried her eyes out with relief that he was awake and alive, at least as alive as he could be. Dawn snuggled into Spike's chest being careful of his legs. "Shhh…it's alright. I'm gonna be fine, Bit."

            She looked into his eyes. "I thought you were dead…I really thought you were gone… There was so much blood and your head was cracked. You wouldn't even feed at first."

            Spike looked into her eyes, "I'm sensing a back story about feeding me I need to hear."

            "You didn't tell…" Dawn said to a non-existent Buffy. 

            "She left while you were crying… Now you tell me," he said firmly. 

            "I got you back in the car- which Angel drove home…"

            Spike interrupted, "I'm bleeding out and Peaches changed the tire…Well that's bloody perfect."

            "No…" Dawn blushed, "Gunn drove us back." 

            The vampire blinked a few times at the color change in his LilBit as well as the speed of her heart pumping. "Gunn drove us back…Why do I get the feeling that Gunn has something to do with what you wanted Buffy to tell me!" 

Dawn bit her lip. 

Spike's eyes narrowed, "He's too old for you…And before you pull the age difference between me and your sis, let me remind you she's died twice and has more life and death experience then most."

            Dawn looked down and swallowed, "So I'm guessing he's a 'no' on the possible dates I can have?"

            "Have you and Buffy discussed this?"            

            "She said I had to talk to you about it…but she didn't say no. She just asked questions," the teen replied looking at him with big eyes.

            Spike shook his head, "Part of being the parent I guess. I chose." He glanced at Dawn again. "Start explaining."

            She looked him in the eyes and said, "Well he's kind of… There's something there…on both sides." Spike's eyes remained cold. "Okay… I called Buffy about you being down. Anya called Angel and let him know that we were in trouble. Gunn volunteered to come and help. Apparently that was all the confirmation Angel needed to vocally confirm his suspicions that Gunn might like me. From what he told me, Angel just wanted Gunn to admit it to himself before they picked us up. For my part I thought he was cute and fun to talk to from the time I spent with him this week."

            "I'm with you so far," Spike muttered. 

Dawn took a deep breath; "Well I sat in the back seat with you trying to get you to wake up so I was telling you about the 'Knight in shining armor' crush I was developing on Gunn when he sort of caught me looking at him in the mirror… I don't know… I was so happy to see it was him and Wesley that came to get us and he was sweet about me being pissed that you and Lorn knew this was going to happen…which I am still mad at you over... He let me cry on his shoulder…and forgave me for…" She stared off into the air. 

"Forgave you for what?" Spike's voice snapped her attention back. 

"It doesn't matter."

He looked annoyed, "I think it does… What happened!?"

She stared at him timidly then gazed down. "I… I… You needed blood… I knew they would never let me give you as much as you needed."

"What did you do Nib…LilBit?"

Dawn decided to ask about the nickname later. "I… punched Gunn."

"You what?"

Dawn refused to look at him, "Gunn was holding me while I was crying and Cordy ushered everyone else out of the room. I thought I felt a pocket knife in his pocket so…I kissed him…then decked him." Spike broke out in spontaneous laughter. "This is serious!"

"You decked Mr. Demon Hunter…that is priceless."

"Stop laughing."

Spike smirked, "Sorry luv…I'm guessing you took his pocket knife and had a bleed fest."

"Basically… Angel busted open the door. Gunn called to tell Buffy." Dawn looked down shyly, "She likes him."

"You like him too?"

"Yeah."

"You said this was mutual…He told you so? I guess he would have if he told you about Angel's chat with him," Spike deduced.

"While you were in here with Buffy… But earlier we talked about the whole mutual thing," Dawn responded.

"Everybody out there know something is up with you?" 

Dawn blushed, "He called me his girl in front of everyone."

Spike thought for a minute, "That's kind of serious coming from him. Doesn't strike me as the type to say that lightly…I'm gonna want to talk to him."

"I know…He knows too," she said simply.

"Another point and minus for the boy."

"Huh?"

"Good sign that he's ready for 'the talk'. Bad sign that he's that serious. You're fifteen… shouldn't be that serious," he explained.

Dawn swallowed and looked Spike directly in the eyes. "Better I have a guy who knows the score and be serious about me from a few hours away then a guy who doesn't and will be in my Lit class."

"You're fifteen."

"I'll be sixteen soon."

"Not helping Bit…How old is he anyway?" Spike asked.

Dawn flinched and looked down, "Twenty two in like a month."

Spike closed his eyes. 'This is not happening. I went to sleep and guys were theoretical. I wake up there is a Twenty two year old guy calling my girl 'his girl'.' "I…"  
            

"Before you say anything let me just do my sales pitch?" Spike nodded putting his arms over his chest. "Okay… He's older, yes, but that makes him more mature and less likely to play games with my head. He knows about you, me, Buffy and the Hellmouth. Bonus, professional demon hunter…can hold his own in a fight. In other words I would be safe from beasties on dates."

"Not beasties I'm worried about," Spike groaned.

Dawn glared for a minute. "He's been too involved with the demon hunting thing to do the dating thing much. He knows you and Buffy would kill him if I were hurt in anyway or…deflowered," she said for emphasis. "He is also aware of my lack of experience and the last guy I kissed ended up a big pile of dust… I'm just trying to show you he knows he isn't getting any anytime soon." Spike smirked at her brazenness. "Besides Cordy is threatening his job if our relationship gets in the way of work."

"Got to love Cordelia to be pragmatic," the vampire laughed. "So…" he began again. "You kissed him…punched him… kissed him again?" Dawn nodded. "Anything else?" 

She shook her head quickly. "We've held hands…and hugged…and he put his arm around me…but that's it," Dawn clarified. 

"This bloodletting was ceased by Angel? But Gunn felt responsible?" Spike asked.

"Yeah… He felt pretty dumb for letting me fool him or thinking I fooled him…thinking I took advantage of his feelings for him like Buffy did with you," the teen observed. She glanced at Spike, "Are you and Buffy okay? I mean, will you be doing the movie thing you mentioned before…all this?"

"I don't know… It's kind of weird to share something like drinking her blood, something that… intimate… with her," he looked away and spoke softly. "I need to know where she ends and I begin again." 

Dawn nodded. "I hope you can figure it out… Would it help if for now I care for you rather then her? Might make it go faster."

Those bright blue eyes were on her. "We have enough people to look after me here Bit."

"We aren't staying here," Dawn said firmly. "You may feel more comfortable here, but its time for us to go home."

"I am not letting the Whelp see me like this!" Spike said resolutely.

"GET OVER IT!" she demanded. "If you recover here, you will never learn to trust the people at home."

"I don't want to trust the people at home… I don't want to be near them when I finally lose it and go on some feeding frenzy," Spike said out of nowhere.

"She told you! Well that's annoying…" Dawn stared at him, "I know you. There will be no feeding frenzy. There are a thousand ways you could have hurt us and caused mayhem and you didn't do it. You won't start now…not when you have to set an example for me and my lack of soul," Dawn stated. 

Spike took a different tacked…the truth or at least half the truth. "I can't be in a wheelchair Bit," he whispered. She settled down closer to him. "I hate being pitied."

"I see…Better to be 'pitied' here then in Sunnydale…. Anngg…Sorry wrong answer. The answer is 'How can I avoid being close to the woman I love in a small space and avoid the intimacy of the situation?' I know you… You can't hide from me," she said quietly. "I know you don't want to get hurt again. I know you hate having to need her right now. I also know you would do anything to protect and care for her. She knows you need space. Let her prove she can honor that."

Spike snorted. "I thought you'd jump at the chance to stay a couple more days…to see Gunn."

Dawn smirked. "He's got a car and likes to drive." Spike raised an eyebrow. "He'll visit," she explained. 

"Where will he stay?"

"At our house."

"Hell NO!"

"He can take the cot in your room so you can make sure his not sneaking around the house," Dawn offered.

"Or you're sneaking down to see him," Spike countered. Dawn smiled. "Fine we'll go home tomorrow… It's late. No need to drive through the night."

"We'll see," she smirked at him.

'I'll get that smirk off her face,' Spike thought. "Send in the Boy!"

She glared, "Fine… The Spanish Inquisition is expected."

'Well that didn't work,' the annoyed vampire thought as the young man walked into the room rubbing his baldhead. Spike glared. "SIT!" he commanded pointing to a chair. 

Gunn tried to stay calm. "Sure."

"You want to date Dawn?" the vampire asked.

"Yes."

"There are rules."

"I imagine so." Spike glared. "No…I just mean…she's a teenager and there are normally curfew and other rules," Gunn tried to dig out of the hole he was in. 

"That's right. She is a teenager. A fifteen year old girl…not street legal…LilBit and I have a system… I don't flash fangs, break stuff, give the 'intensions' speech, or follow on dates. She doesn't have guys in her room, at her window, sneak them in or out, or have sex with them." Gunn swallowed at how blunt Spike was being with him. "Now here are my rules for you- **_you don't_** 1) keep her out past curfew, 2) break any of the above rules, and 3) up the physical level of your relationship each time you visit. You also will stay in my room where I can see you while you stay at our house, and so help me God if you hurt her in any way I will kill you." Gunn nodded solemnly. "And Gunn if you should ever…ever pressure my girl into anything, especially of a physical nature- I won't kill you. I'll make you wish you were dead. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," the young man said. Spike nodded. 

"Can I say one thing?" The vampire gestured for him to continue. "I've got the background on what's happened with Buffy so I totally get the protective thing… I had a little sister… She was vamped… I more then anyone understand the intense desire to protect those you love. I also understand feeling like you've failed…" Spike looked at the boy curiously. "I hope… I hope at some point I won't be seen as the enemy. I have no intension of hurting her… Believe me I'm getting flack on this side too… We both, Dawn and I, understand this might not pan out. The difference in age, cities, and races, all put a lot of stress on a relationship even if you don't want them too… I can't turn into Angelus and I won't flake out like the other guy… Dawn won't repeat the pain Buffy went through with me. That I can assure you," Gunn said firmly. 

"I know you sincerely believe that," Spike said slowly, "but you can't promise that. I love Buffy more then my own life and I hurt her all the time because of who and what I am. Intensions aren't the thing that I have to worry about with you…Dawn made that clear. She is in such a hurry to grow up- dating an older guy makes sense. Trying to please an older guy in the ways she thinks are available that is the problem… It's the things that come up when you're together alone and hormones are in control. The rules are precautions for the fifteen-year-old girl that has never had a boyfriend to lean on in the back of her mind as law and not suggestions. Don't try to bend them or Dawn will break them… In other words in the house you can make out on the couch Buffy's mum died on, otherwise you have no other place to be. All other locations will be in public and if you try anything other then kissing in a car the 'you'll wish you were dead' statement will come into play."

Gunn smirked, "You rather her date an eighteen year old who's at his sexual peak?" Spike glared. "Sorry…it struck me as funny… Older, wiser, not as ruled by my penis."

"Not winning friends here guy."

"How bout this…anything I wouldn't have wanted to have my little sister doing at fifteen is off limits?" Gunn suggested. 

Spike looked him over, "okay." The men shook on the agreement. 

TBC…


	23. Doc

Title: Doctor

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Dawn sat anxiously waiting for Gunn to leave Spike's side. Buffy did her best to sooth the teen's fears but knew in no uncertain terms Spike was going to make this easy on Gunn. "He wouldn't eat him, would he?" Dawn asked nervous suddenly.

            Buffy gave her a stern look. "Don't second guess him?" Both sisters sat silently. "Did he… Has he…" Buffy questioned.

            Dawn looked at her sister's shamed face and said, "I think I've convinced him we should leave and go home…but right now you have to let me and Tara take care of him. He's gonna spontaneously combust if he shares any more intimacies with you before he's ready."

            "I don't get…"

            "He says he needs to know where you end and he begins," Dawn said looking at Buffy. "The blood complicated that. He always said he was drowning in you. That you coursed through his veins. Now you actually do and… When it comes down to it let him be the Victorian man underneath all that leather. He wants to court you… He wants to give you back some of those teenage experiences you lost because you were the slayer," Dawn said confidently. 

            "He said that to you?" Buffy asked.

            "Yeah… That was why I had trouble getting his attention earlier tonight when I called to tell you we were underway. He was thinking about the future…you and him. He didn't give me specifics other then trying to make up for part of what you lost… When I suggested one of those rights of passage be having sex in his car, he hit the roof…not literally but you get the picture. He wants…he wants to date you…be the boyfriend. I think that's all he really wanted to begin with." Dawn slightly snorted, "Not that I don't think he was absolutely ecstatic he was sleeping with you…but I honestly believe more then anything he wanted to give you normal… or as much normal as possible in his world with some from ours like movies, dinner, and dates."

            Buffy ran both hands through her hair. "I suck!" she whispered fervently. "Angel tried to do that for me but he didn't know how. Plus he never wanted me to encounter his demon. Spike is comfortable with his, not at odds with it… Somehow I think Spike could pull off the boyfriend thing because he isn't conflicted about who he is… Until the Initiative got a hold of him… and me…"

            "Than back off for a while… Believe me, living with us will be enough of a reminder of what he can have. Just don't shove it down his throat," Dawn explained. 

            Gunn exited the bedroom causing both Summers girls to stand. "Fred… I helped him get ready. Might be good if you looked at his legs. He seems pretty anxious to leave," Gunn commented slightly smirked at Buffy. 

            She sighed in relief then moved with Fred and Dawn into the bedroom. "Hey now… Being checked by a doctor… No need for prying eyes," Spike said in an unreadable tone.

            "Sorry 'Big Bad' but I don't trust you to tell us everything the doc says so…we're staying," Dawn informed her father figure.

            "Alright…I'm not an actual MD so you'll have to bear with me… Out from under the covers," Fred said quickly grabbing the comforter.

            "Not in front of LilBit," he said sharply. "Don't need anyone thinking I'm… She shouldn't see me in my knickers!"

            "I'll turn around," Dawn said pulling her sister too. 

            "What? I've seen him in his 'knickers' already today," Buffy complained turning around.

            "And less then that on occasion," the teen said. 

            "Dawn!" Buffy and Spike both yelled.

            Fred rolled her eyes. "Lets have a look at your legs." Spike pulled back the covers and let Fred have a peak. She pulled off the splints and ran her hands over his legs. "Fascinating," she whispered. "I've seen Angel recover from flesh wounds but this…this is amazing."

            "I'm glad you like my legs doc," Spike joked. 

            "No flirting with the doctor," Buffy announced. 

Spike had to smile at the protectiveness she had for him. "'Kay luv."

"This time I'm going to put pressure where the breaks were," Fred informed him.  Spike hissed a bit on his left leg though his right leg didn't seem to bother him at all. "Thank the slayers for the fact you won't be in a wheelchair for a few months… I'll see if we have a pair of crutches you can use." Fred left the room leaving them in silence. She had no idea what caused the heavy atmosphere but it was there. 

When he had covered his legs back up he whispered, "Thank you."

Dawn turned around and crawled up the bed to lie down beside him. "You're welcome," she said sweetly hugging his chest. 

Spike's eyes met Buffy's for a long while. She desperately wanted to do what Dawn had done and just snuggle up to him. But if this was going to work…if they were going to work…she would have to wait until she was invited. So she stood apart from the scene just staring into Spike's eyes. 

Finally he said, "Thank you," for an entirely different reason then his legs.

"You're welcome… I'll go help Fred."

Buffy fled the room fast. She honed in on where Tara was and sought solace in her friend. The blond witch just hugged the slayer as she cried and mewed. "It hurts… It hurts so much…to see him just beyond this invisible wall…to love him so much and know he loves me. To know it's there and we're not doing anything about it…it's killing me," Buffy blubbered.

"Now you know how Spike's felt for months. To have you come to him night after night and then deny there was anything there," Tara said leaning back to look her friend in the face. "At least he'll admit he loves you and he's not embarrassed by you. He's willing to say 'maybe'."

"I always said 'never'," the slayer whispered with tears rolling down her cheeks. She wiped her face with her palms and sniffled. 

Dawn had left the bedroom in search of Spike's bag to see if there were any pants that he could wear over the splints. "What's wrong? Why didn't you go hug Spike?" Dawn asked innocently of her sister when she saw her crying.

Buffy put on her best face. "We hugged earlier."

"Why are you crying?"

Tara stroked Buffy's hair. "I hurts to love someone and have them be at arms length," the witch said softly.

Dawn's face-hardened toward them both then relaxed but then hardened again. "Yeah… Like Spike and I don't know anything about what that feels like." The teen walked away in a snit searching out Angel for help. 

"She's going to be mad for a long time, won't she?" Buffy asked quietly.

"There will be good days and bad days. The bad days will be when she feels like you brought the pain on yourself or have been injured the way you injured her or Spike," Tara observed. "I'm going to go talk to Spike by myself, okay?" Buffy nodded.

Tara entered the room watching Spike lay back peacefully. "It helps to have your eyes open," she said. Spike's head wiped around to look at her. "That's better. I've seen near dead Spike enough for a long while."

"Tinkerbell," he smiled more then smirked. 

"Thought I'd come in and get my own 'Spike' time," she said sitting on the bed. "How are you feeling? And I don't mean physically!"

He eyed her a minute and said, "Physically my leg throbs and I totally hate the idea of being on crutches but its better then being in a chair."

"Don't want to talk, eh? We have ways of making you talk," she said in a mock German accent. 

"As a rule pet, never do an accent the person you are talking to speaks the language of."

"Alright then…I'll tickle you if you don't talk to me," Tara said and went for his ribs.

"Why are you so curious?" he demanded.

"Not curious…Concerned. I seem to be someone you can vent with so vent away… Don't need to have you popping off after we get home. Release stress now and later rather then have you explode," she observed.

Spike sighed deeply, "I don't like the way things are with Buffy… You know that… I've said it…so lets move on."

"I don't think so… Why don't you like the way things are with Buffy?" Spike sat stoically. "Okay I'll say statements you agree or disagree," Tara offered. "You don't like the distance between you."

"Partly."

"You don't like the pain she is in because of this."

"Yes."

"You don't like having to be strong…to keep the wall up between you."

"Huh?" Spike looked at her face.

"It takes a lot of energy to keep you two apart. You want her to respect your wishes and keep her distance but you don't trust her enough to actually keep her word… Therefore the energy sucking wall is constructed," Tara answered.

He looked at her, "I guess that's true."

She looked at him hard, "You want me to be the actual barrier between you so you can rest."  
            Suddenly Spike recognized what she was saying. "Tara… I'm not trying to use you… I asked you to stay with us. I wasn't trying to hurt you in any way."

            "Spike… I'm going to help because you're my friend but you need to understand this will hurt me. Staying in the same house as Willow will hurt me, like staying in the same house with Buffy hurts you," she stated clearly. 

            "I can't hurt you, pet," he said in almost no voice. "I'm sure Red will help with moving me around… I'll just face Buffy alone. I'm sorry I asked…I didn't think."

"It hurts…" she asked and stated.

            "Yeah…every bloody minute." He looked into her wide eyes, "I had some space, some boundaries between us when we started heading home. Now they're gone again… I can't know what any of you went through while I was under but waking up with Buffy touching me…me touching her…drinking from her… all the boundaries were gone again."

"Close your eyes for me," Tara said soothingly. Spike did as he was asked. "Don't think about the past pain. Think only about the experience itself… Did it feel right?"

            Spike squeezed his eyes shut tight and then released them as he gritted his teeth. "I can't think of it that way Tara."

            "Why not?"

            "Because then she's my mate!" he announced. 

She gave him a sympathetic look. "She loves you and wants to be with you."

"Now… What happens in a few weeks when I give in and she's no longer interested? What happens when she does what she always does and decides I'm a monster…that without the chip she can't love me? What happens then?" Spike growled.

Tara tilted her head, "Then we kick her ass…" Spike laughed then smiled. "Look… I know what all the insecurities feel like. If for some reason Buffy did that to you, she would get such hell from everyone and she knows it… But honestly, it's not going to happen. I wish you could have seen the abject horror on her face at the thought you might be dead… She's not going anywhere. She has to earn back your trust not the other way around…"

Spike stared at her for a moment then nodded. "Thank you for coming with Buffy."

"Not a problem… When we get home you can thank Xander for the use of his car, phone, and the great looking room he set up," Tara said with a smirk.

"Great… I'm indebted to the Whelp."

"Could be worse?"

"How?"

Tara smirked, "Could be in debt to Gunn… Oh wait… you are already."

"Witch!" Spike laughed.

"What of it?!"

"Nothing luv… So what do you think of the boy?"

"You were here longer. You've been more exposed to him then any of us," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but you have that good 'aura reader' quality," Spike mentioned.

"So, you want me to cheat?"

"Yes," he said firmly.

She smirked, "Champion, loyal, loving, devoted, passionate, and intense."

"I don't know how I feel about the passionate part," Spike squirmed.

"Have you seen him in battle?" Tara asked.

"Yeah one night."

 "Does it describe him in a fight?"

Spike thought it over, "Good point… I liked him too. I just hate to admit it to myself… I thought that he was a guy I thought was worthy of my LilBit. I wanted her to date someone like him. I was just hoped it was someone younger and closer by."

"I think you should trust your gut and him," Tara offered.

"Right…" Spike sighed.

"Here we go," Dawn said as she burst into the room. She was holding up some black sweats and placing the crutches near the bed. "These should do."

"Dawn…Let me help him," Tara instructed, as it appeared that Dawn was ready to be the house nurse. She shrugged and left the room. 

Somehow it was easier to accept help from Tara then anyone else. It suddenly dawned upon him. "Have I ever told you about my sister Elizabeth?" Spike said from nowhere. 

She considered him a minute before saying, "No… Spike you haven't."

"Remind me to."

"Okay."

"I only bring it up because…well it just struck me that I am treating you very sisterly," Spike said stiltedly as they worked to get the sweats tied and fitted over the splints. 

Tara smiled. "Be kind of cool…then I'd be Dawn's aunt." They laughed lightly before she said, "Time to face the rest of the crew. Ready William?"

"Why'd you call me that?"

"Isn't it a sister's prerogative to call their brother by his name or his nickname?"

"Alright Tinkerbell…have it your way."

TBC…


	24. Drive

Title: Drive

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            "Well, if it isn't the man of the hour?" Lorn quipped. "I told you all you had to do was believe and you'd see your girls again."

            "You, however, didn't tell me I was going to have both my legs broken," Spike said with raised eyebrow at the green man. 

            "Didn't know the form, you know that," the host responded.

            "Be glad nothing worse happened. I think Dawn would have tried to kick your ass," the blond vampire said as he leaned on the crutches and Tara heavily. 

            "She did," was the general response from the room. 

            "Shortly before she decked Gunn," Lorn nodded at the young man. 

            "I would pay to see that interaction," Spike said greatly amused. "Peaches, tell me you have a video recorder in that room?"

            "Sadly no… Though it would've been a great blackmailing device later on," the older vampire answered.

Both Dawn and Gunn looked tortured. "Alright enough picking on the kids," Tara said quite motherly. "You need to sit," she informed Spike.

            "Yes, ma'am," he responded. 

            "We're going to need someone to drive Spike's car back to Sunnydale who's willing to be bused back to LA," Tara continued.

            "Why can't Buffy drive?" Gunn asked. Everyone in the room but Fred and Lorn looked at him like he was nuts.

            "Buffy and cars…not mixy things," Dawn quoted her sister. "I'll be able to drive before she will… Buffy's also really bad with school gyms. She's blown up three."

            "Two," Buffy countered.

            "You blew up the second one again when you blew up the high school."

            "You blew up your high school?" Gunn asked completely confused.

            "Hey! Angel helped! Besides, I was saving the world from evil… But keep it in mind when dating my sister… I make things go boom!" Buffy reacted.

            "Violence is just imbedded in the Summers women, huh?" the young man asked.

            "You have no idea," both vampires said at once. 

            "Back to the car situation," Tara steered the conversation back.

            "I'll do it," Gunn offered. 

            "I'll ride with him," Dawn said immediately after.

            "NO!" Buffy and Spike both yelled.

            "Okay… Lets try that one again," the blond witch said. "Buffy, come here." When the slayer had walked over Tara began again, "Gunn will be visiting sooner or later. This is a perfect time to get him into the habit of abiding by your rules on your turf," she said quietly. "Plus then Gunn can be there to help you get better and not be constantly with Dawn."

            Buffy and Spike looked at each other. "What do you think pet?"

            "She's got a point… We'll have a pretty full house though."

            "Actually…I won't be staying with you," Tara informed the confused slayer. "Because things are the way they are with Willow, it's for the best." Tara's mind projected to Buffy, "You have to respect his space if you want him back…" 

The slayer nodded slightly. "Okay… Gunn will stay in your room on the cot and can help out for a few days till your legs are completely healed."

The women parted so Spike could come into Gunn's view, "Angel, we're going to borrow your boy for a few days."

Dawn had a big smile on her face though Gunn was carefully watching Angel. Wesley tilted his head; "We can spare him for a few days… Send him back no worse for wear though."

"He can patrol with me only if he wants to… Personally I think my sister will be more distracting," Buffy commented. 

"Ground rules… You are visiting to help with my recovery," Spike smirked, "Therefore, you are staying with me…not Dawn. GOT IT!"

"Got it," both Dawn and Gunn replied. 

"I'll head home to pick up some clothes," Gunn stated.

"Can I see where you live?" Dawn asked.

"NO!" Buffy and Spike yelled.

"Another supervised visit," Gunn said squeezing Dawn's hand as he headed toward the door. 

Suddenly he stopped, turned around and went to Angel. Angel looked at him confusedly just before Gunn hit him upside the head. "This is all your fault," the young man said.

"What did I do?" Angel asked incredulously to the leaving form of Gunn. 

"Her," the young man responded as he left the building. Dawn, Buffy and Spike merely glared at Angel with folded arms.

"Hey now… None of that," the older vampire responded. "Ancient history remember?" he said slightly nervous. 

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Can I at least ride in the car with him? One of you can ride with us," she pled.

Spike sighed. "I wish we had that read thoughts thing for these sorts of situations," he said to Buffy. 

All she could do was smile and breathe deeply letting the warm glow of contentment spread through her. "Tara, why don't you chat with Dawn for a while so Spike and I can talk this through?" the slayer asked. Tara nodded as she and Dawn gave the couple some space. "Honestly it might be good to let them have a few hours of talk time. Maybe they'll find out they don't have that much in common or the age difference is too big."

"So we should let them ride by themselves?" 

"Yeah… I think so."  
            "You sure you don't just want to keep an eye on me?" he asked. _'What the hell did I say that for?' _he thought. 

Buffy blushed slightly but had a little smile as well. "The keeping an eye on you thing is part of it too."

Spike listened to Buffy's heart race and breathing pick up. He took a couple of her fingers in hand and said, "Thanks luv." 

Buffy did her best to blink back grateful tears. "I… I'll go load up the car," she whispered moving away from him. She turned back around for a moment and said, "These are the moments _I wish _we could read each others thoughts." Then she was gone from his side. Spike sat on the couch blinking rapidly trying to figure out what just happened. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            In less then an hour the cars were packed and ready to leave with the notable exception of Gunn. His car slid back into the back parking lot and he entered the Hyperion again. "Alright I am back and ready… Thanks for the time off Wesley… Don't have too many visions while I'm gone Cordy… Hope the club is in full swing Lorn… Fred don't study too much and go out in the daytime too… And Angel, every time Buffy or Spike over reacts I will curse your name… Bye all," was Gunn's farewell speech to his co-workers. 

            Angel smirked while everyone else hugged. He walked up to the young warrior he worked with. "Just remember…I didn't date Buffy until she was sixteen," he mocked.

            Gunn smirked back, "Yes, but I didn't stalk her from bushes and roof tops for a year or so before meeting her face to face." Both men nodded at each other and Gunn left the building.

            "So what's the plan?" Gunn asked when he reached the Desoto.

            "You and LilBit will follow us…alone. Dawn knows the way… You're getting grace here," Spike said from the back of Xander's car. "We've only got a couple hours till sunrise and this car doesn't have blacked out windows."

            "Right," the young man said and climbed behind the wheel. Dawn sat next to him in the middle seat rather then shotgun. Gunn smiled at her, "I think he's starting to like me."

            "Oh yeah… he likes you," Dawn said sweetly. "I overheard him tell Tara that before we left he thought he wanted someone like you to date me…just younger and closer."

            "Well, I guess he'll have to settle for the original rather then a copy."

            "Guess so," she agreed and snuggled into his shoulder. He half laughed and put his arm around her the way she wanted him to.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "They following okay?" Tara asked.

            "Yeah… He's got his arm around her though," Spike growled.

            "Back off Cujo," Buffy commented. Spike growled some more. The girls just laughed. "Whole point is giving them talking time."

            "Well they aren't talking… They're snuggling," he snapped.

            "Worse then a biological father," Tara laughed. 

            "Hey now…I took this position thankfully, but overprotective is part of that package," Spike said simply. 

            "Position," Buffy chuckled. "Like you ran for office to be Dawn's dad."

            "Well, I would have beaten her actual dad, wouldn't I?"

            "Yeah…because my father would have decided to forfeit."

            Spike was sitting directly behind Buffy's chair. Without thinking he reached out and touched her right arm, "Sorry pet."

            Buffy took a shuttered breath, "It's okay. I'm glad she has you." Amazingly enough, Spike kept letting his fingers slide over her skin gently. 

Buffy swallowed and instinctively looked in the vanity mirror in front of her on the sun flap. By some miracle her gaze hit Spike's eyes exactly even though there was no reflection in the glass. Spike swallowed and removed his fingers from her skin. _"This is going to be a long drive," _he thought looking at the hazel eyes in the glass before him. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "So your blood can open portals to different dimensions?" Gunn asked Dawn as they drove now well into the second half of their trip. 

            "Well it did. I guess it still could but so far no one has tried a bloodletting other then me so hey, we're good," Dawn said with a small smile. 

            Gunn looked at the small scare on her arm from before. "I'm going to ask you a personal question…and you don't have to answer… Your sister said something to me about you having cutting yourself before. What was that about?" he said carefully.

            "You mean was I suicidal?" she asked. Gunn about swallowed his tongue but managed to nod. She looked at him carefully. "Imagine you find out you're not real, that your family is just your genetic make up, but you were never were born. All your memories were created not experienced. All your friends never met you until one day in September of 2000…" Gunn stole glances at Dawn as she spoke. "I wasn't suicidal. I didn't want to die. I was just trying to understand what I was…if I was real."

            "You're sitting right here… You can be held, have conversations, form your own opinions…why wouldn't you be real?" Gunn asked.

            "Are those the things that make you real? For me it was I bled… You spend your 'life' around a slayer you learn the importance of blood as a life force. It's what Buffy and I had in common…our blood. Secondly, it was like if I felt it and I wasn't numb I was real…I wasn't dead."

            "You thought a lot about this," the young man said holding Dawn a little closer. 

            "Yeah well…You end up contemplating a lot of things that normal teenagers don't when you find out you're older then time, that to most mentally unstable people you appear to be a big green light, and you don't have a human soul. Things like that…" Gunn shifted a bit. "What?"

            "I finally got why you came on the way you did when you first came to LA. I went to shoot Spike and you were all protective… making that comment about him being soulless but not the vampire thing… I didn't know," he said sadly.

            "Does that change things?" she asked curiously. 

            "I don't think so… It just makes me hope that I'm never stupid enough to mention it. I'll need to be careful about my vampire insults, huh?" he said with a smile. 

            She smirked, "You'll be in the same bout a few Scoobies."

            Dawn looked at the car ahead of them. Buffy was bobbing up and down and finally got into the back seat. "What the hell is she doing?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "OWWW!!!" Spike was wincing grinding his teeth together. "Cor, Slayer in trying to make it better don't make it worse."

            "Not my fault your calf went into muscle spasm," she said coolly. She took a deep breath; "I'm going to roll up the pants leg here okay? Then I'm going to loosen the splint so I can massage the muscle but you'll have to keep still."

            Spike leaned back against the passenger side door in the back. He looked at Buffy then braced himself. "Try to make it quick, luv." She nodded.

            Buffy rolled the sweats up over the splint, but ran nearly to his groin. When she got above the knee their locked eyes. "You can take it the rest of the way," Buffy whispered as she realized if she were to do it she would be giving him a view straight down her shirt.  

            Spike finished the rolling the material up as Buffy loosened the knots that held the splint in place. Gently she started to run her hands over his calf muscles. "Show me where it hurts."

            "Here," he answered bringing her fingers to a knot and the largest point in the muscle. Buffy nodded as she pushed her fingers into his flesh in a rhythmic pattern. She kept his leg as still as possible while her thumbs did the harder pressing on the knot. Spike tried to stifle the moans of pain and pleasure he felt, not wanting to make the situation confusing. "That feels so good," he said in a husky whispered as the circular motions she was using started to send jolts of pleasure to his groin. 

            Buffy closed her eyes and breathed deeply a few times before she continued. _"It's going to be a long trip,"_ she thought as Spike stared straight into her eyes as she opened them. 

TBC…


	25. Home

Title: Home

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Spike leaned against the passenger side door in the back seat of Xander's car feigning sleep to avoid the eventuality of a conversation with Buffy. She had helped him by massaging his leg to comfort the muscle spasm he had earlier in the ride. Their attraction was never in question but the precarious balance between love and lust was too hard for Spike right now to face. Avoidance was his only out so he took it. 

            "How ya doing back there?" Tara asked Buffy looking in the rearview mirror. 

            "Awful…" Buffy muttered. "Is it so wrong for me just want him to breath out all the mistrust of me and just believe me?"

            "Buffy… You used each other…badly…hurtfully. Besides his world consists of making sure Dawn is looked after. Let him get comfortable in that before asking for more… His injury gained you the trust of your sister back. She got to see how much you love him and how much you love her. You're in Dawn's good graces. Let that be enough for now," the witch said. Buffy swallowed and nodded. 

Tara continued, "He wasn't there to see what I saw. He wasn't awake to see you handle Dawn lovingly, carefully and quickly. He wasn't aware of the tears that you cried for him or your fear… Everyone who saw you knows you love him."

"Everyone but him," the slayer whispered.

"He knows it too," Tara said. "But you have to admit he has a right to be afraid that if he open himself up to you again…then suddenly everything will change." Buffy looked at her with big eyes trying to comprehend what Tara might know about the situation that she didn't tell her friend. "He tried to talk to you about what was going on with you when it was just kisses… Physical…Denial…Physical…Denial.  He has reason to protect himself."

"I know… I just wish he understood that when I thought he was dead, part of me died too…"

Buffy looked Spike over then groaned facing forward again. "I was so stupid… I got him to drink… I should have just let it stay there. I should have known better then to assume that he wanted to touch me. It probably just a big part of feeding…the touching, the groping," she muttered annoyed with herself. "We had made so much progress. I just had to botch it up…"

"Buffy," Tara addressed her. "You're the slayer. Do most feedings involve groping?"

Spike internally cringed. Glinda was going to get him found out or she was going to say it out right. 

"No… but sometimes the vamps have their way with the females if they like them," Buffy said off hand.

"What else do you know about male / female feeding?" Tara probed. Spike had said if he thought about the way he and Buffy had been together that it was like she was his mate. Buffy had to know something about vampire mates. All Tara had to do was lead her to the information. 

Spike was ready to start squirming to draw attention away from the conversation but didn't for some reason.

"What? You mean like between vampires?" 

"Yeah," the witch responded.

"You aren't saying…" Buffy mumbled.

"Why not? Wouldn't that make the most sense as to why it was too intimate to Spike?"  
  


Buffy's eyes flit back and forth into space trying to piece the information together. "I wasn't a piece of food he was playing with… He wasn't ravaging me…He was starting to make love to me."

"And with the way things are between you wouldn't that scare the hell out of him?" Tara asked simply. Spike attempted to breath evenly as the women discussed him. He didn't want Buffy to know everything in him regarded her as a mate. Tara sighed, "Buffy you really have to let him come to you in his time. Let him be. He'll figure out what he wants."

"And what if he just wants to be Dawn's guardian?"

"Then that's his choice to make." Spike breathed deeply knowing that Tara really was on his side. Pretending to be asleep wasn't such a bad choice after all.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            Dawn was asleep at the arrival to Revello drive. Gunn pulled the Desoto behind Xander's car before tugging his beauty from it. She nestled into his arms as Tara guided him up the stairs to Dawn's room. Gunn removed her shoes then tucked her into bed kissing her forehead before leaving, all under Tara's watchful eye as not to annoy Buffy and Spike.

            They were having their own issues. Buffy pulled the bags from both cars and left Spike to get out of the car on his own as requested. When Gunn came back downstairs with Tara Buffy promptly went to him and said, "Will you please help him downstairs? I'm not getting anywhere with him." Gunn nodded and went to the garage to see Spike juggling his crutches and splinted leg out of the car.

            "Man… Let me help before you re-break that leg. Don't really want to see my girl bleeding herself dry for you again," Gunn addressed him. Spike literally snarled at the young man. Gunn grabbed the crutches out of the way and pulled Spike forward, "Dawn is tucked away so we are man to man here. I know the damage you can cause and I am physically threatened now let me help!"

            Spike rolled his eyes and stopped fighting Gunn's attempts to help. Soon enough Spike was forward enough to put some weight on the almost healed leg and the brunt of it on Gunn before transferring to the crutches. "Thank you," Spike grumbled.

            "No problem… Let's get you inside before you get dusty. Sun's about to rise."

            The guys looked around for the girls only to hear Buffy call, "Come on down Spike…Come see your new room." Both men headed for the basement. All the windows had dark burgundy velvet drapes in front of them to shield the sun. Spike's grand bed stood in the back section of the basement fit with linens. A small bathroom had been created that was just as wide as the iron bathtub Anya had found at an estate sale that she said reminded her of Spike somehow. There was a toilet, sink and mirror despite who the bathroom was for… but it looked more normal that way. His chair, sofa and TV were situated just as you came down the stairs to form a living room area. The cot was dressed up with a comforter and big pillows to double as a second sofa. 

            "What do ya think?" Buffy asked biting her lip not looking at him.

            "Where's the rest of my stuff?" he asked quietly.

            "Oh… I boxed everything up," Tara commented. "Your clothes are mainly in the closet. Your books are on the other side of the bed. There's a small bookshelf being used as a night table right now. Your trunk is under your bed like it was at your crypt. Everything else is in boxes with Dawn, Joyce, and Buffy's stuff in the other section of the basement. I just didn't think you'd want me going through it to decide what went where."

            "Thank you," he said eyeing her nervously. At least Buffy wasn't the one to get his stuff together. 

            "Come on Big Bad," Tara said lending him a hand. "Lets get you in your bed to sleep."

            "I'm going to crash out on the cot," Gunn said removing some of the pillows to lie down.

            Buffy didn't know whether to follow Spike into his bedroom or just go up stairs. Tara nodded her to follow them so Buffy did. 

            Tara got Spike sitting on his big bed, a place she remembered and enjoyed. And now it lived in her home, she sighed. "Do you like it Spike?" she asked again.

            "A little less dank and dusty for my taste… Rather PTA if you ask me, but if I'm going to be LilBit's guardian I guess I'm going to need to get used to the Parent/Teacher thing." He let out a soft chuckle and a yawn. "My first Parent Teacher night was that night with you at the school… Remember pet?" he said sleepily. "First time I met your mum too. Hit me with an axe she did. 'Get the hell away from my daughter,' and rot like that. It's where you get your fire Buffy…from your mum…" he said as he drifted off to sleep. 

            Buffy stood for a minute and cried as Tara moved speedily about his limbs getting Spike ready for bed. Buffy so badly wanted to crawl up next to him and hold him. Let him hold her. Instead she let the tears fall and walked out of his bedroom to head for the stairs. "He loves you," Gunn called to the back of her. She stopped mid step. "I watched him for a week. Everything in him sings with his love for you and Dawn. All of his anguish and hurt is centered in you too." Buffy turned to look at the young man who was actually a little older then she was. "One day he's going to wake up and realize its easier just to love you and hope for the best then keep you at arms length so he can't be hurt."

            "I hope so…" she said quietly and walked up the stairs. 

            Tara came and stood by Gunn, "I'll see about getting her to go to sleep. I'll sack out on the couch down here in a bit. I don't have the energy to go home right now."

            "No problem…"

            Tara found Buffy crying into her arm on the kitchen counter. "What's wrong sweetie?" Tara said kindly. 

            "I don't know if I can do this… He's so close. All I want to do is go back downstairs and curl up next to him. I want to hold him and know he's safe. I nearly lost him," she slightly sobbed. 

            Tara pulled her into a hug. "You've had no sleep, gave a lot of blood, and are emotionally exhausted. Go to sleep for a while like the rest of us. I promise I'll still be here when you get up."

            "Would it be horrible if I slept next to Dawn?" the slayer asked in a little girl voice. 

            "No… I think she would like that."

            Tara looked at the Summers girls curled into one another whispering softly. She felt like such a mom at the moment. The door next to Dawn's open abruptly as Tara was about to go downstairs. "Your back," the sleepy red head said. "Is Spike okay?" she asked.

            "His legs are broken. One is almost entirely mended… You have a guest. His name is Gunn. He'll be helping take care of Spike for a little while," Tara said quietly.

            "Gun?" Willow asked raising an eyebrow.

            "Yeah…" Tara went to go then stopped. "I… I could tell you about the trip."

            "Okay…" Willow nodded and grabbed her robe. 

            "So Gun?" Willow asked as they sipped on tea together.

            "Charles Gunn. G-U-N-N… Dawn is very particular about that. Buffy has resigned herself to call him Charles as the mom figure in the house," Tara said with a smile.

            "Huh… I feel like it's too early and I'm missing something."

            "You are… Dawnie is dating the guy… The guy that is like our age…actually older then Buffy."

            "This is okay with Buffy and Spike?" Willow asked completely confused.

            "Not really but they aren't going to stop it… He's a nice guy. He works for Angel so he's really good at the demon-hunting thing. Gunn seems to understand Buffy and Spike's concerns because he knows what happened between Angel and Buffy… Buffy and Spike over reacted when Dawn wanted to see his apartment and he was fine with it. Then…you should have seen it. It was hysterical… He walked over to Angel and hit him in the back of the head… Later the guy says goodbye to everyone he works with then says 'And every time Buffy or Spike over react I will curse your name' to Angel. I have to say the whole trip was worth the look on Angel's face when Gunn hit him," Tara laughed.

            Gunn emerged from downstairs. "You could keep it down. You may not be waking the dead down there but you are waking me, Tinkerbell," he said with a smile getting himself some tea. Willow just stared at the tall lean man before her. Gunn reached out his hand to her, "Gunn."

            "Willow," she responded. "You… you're Dawn's new boyfriend… How old are you?" Tara glared at her. "Sorry… None of my business. Gave up my parental claims to Dawn when I crashed the car and got her arm broken," she mumbled into her tea.

            "No worries… From what Dawn's told me she loves you very much… Big Sister category though," he assured her. "I'll be twenty two in a month."

            "Oh… Oh… How long will you be staying with us?" 

            "Probably until Spike can move around on his own or the end of Dawn's Spring Break… which ever ends last… You might want to think about getting a cheap microwave and fridge for downstairs so Spike doesn't have to come upstairs to get and heat his blood," Gunn suggested. "When Dawn gets up we can play consumer shoppers," he said with a big smile. 

            "I have a feeling Dawn will want to show you off at the Bronze tonight… You should rest up," Tara smirked at him. 

            "I can tell when I'm not wanted… Coming down mama?" he asked off handedly. 

            "In a minute."

            "Later." And with that Charles Gunn slipped into the basement. 

            "That was Dawn's boyfriend?" Willow asked.

            "That was Dawn's Boyfriend and Spike's manservant," Tara joked. "I need some shut eye… I'll see you in a few hours."

            "You didn't mind him calling you mama?" Willow inquired.

            "At least he didn't call me Glinda like Spike has gotten into the habit of doing," she smiled and slipped downstairs.

            Gunn was waiting when she arrived downstairs. "That's your ex huh?" Tara gave him a confused look. "Dawn told me… She's cute…"

            "Don't start," the witch responded.

            "What? You're doing such a good job helping Buffy and Spike manage their differences and being supportive of Dawn and I… Why not…"

            "Gunn… I'm going to sleep now. When I wake up the last few sentences will not have been uttered okay?" Tara warned.

            "Fine."

            "Fine."

TBC…


	26. Summers Residence

Title: Summers Residence

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Spike woke up in his new home quite confused. He had the worst feeling he was back in his wheelchair days. But as he turned he saw Buffy walking out of the room, having left a cup on the table with a bandage around her wrist. "What'd you do pet?" he said slowly. 

            She didn't turn around. "I left you your lunch."

            "Buffy…" She still didn't turn around but stood in the door. "Please look at me, luv."

            Buffy moved toward him timidly. She moved her arms behind her back in a small attempt to hide the fact she bled herself for him. "Yes…"

            "You keep that up I'll have more of your blood then you do," he whispered to her. 

            "Drink it… You don't want it to clot," she offered.

            He averted his eyes, "Not in front of you…" She turned to leave. "Wait for me though… in the living room out there." She nodded and shut the door. 

            Spike started to drink his love's blood from a cup with 'Spike' written on the bottom. He smiled… The girls did not want to drink out of the same cup his blood was in. _Why did I ask Buffy to stay?_ he thought. His heart answered, _Because you do like to be with her…you like talking to her. You want her comfort. _Spike growled at himself, _That kind of thing is going to tear me up inside. _Once again his heart responded, _You heard Tara…Buffy really loves you._

Spike finished his blood and stared into the cup. Buffy knocked gently on the door before opening it. "You obviously want to be by yourself…so I'm just gonna go…" she said.

            "No…" Spike stated firmly. He had no clue what he was doing. "I'm done… Thanks for the cup," he said trying to be jovial. Buffy continued to stand at the door. "Come in," he whispered. Buffy took a few steps in and shut the door.

            Dawn and Tara who had been peaking from the stairs both smiled when they heard Spike invite the slayer into his room. "Alright ladies… Enough spying," Gunn smirked at them. 

            "But it was cute," Dawn said with a smile. 

            "But its rude," he countered. She started to pout at him. Gunn couldn't resist, so he picked her up off the floor to meet him face to face for a kiss. 

            Willow chose that moment to walk into the kitchen. "Okay… Not what I was expecting to see," she said slightly uncomfortably. 

            Gunn slid Dawn back to the floor. "Sorry… Didn't realize this was a PDA free zone," he responded.

            "Sorry…its just…. Sorry…" she said shaking her head and left the room.

            Tara followed after her, "Willow?"

            The redhead looked at Tara with hooded eyes, "I'm sorry… I know you know that but…"

            "What does that have to do with Gunn and Dawn?" the blond asked.

            Red looked at her straight on, "That used to be us… We were the cute couple kissing in the kitchen. We were the ones with the public displays of affection… It's just hard when I want you back so badly…" Willow's eyes dropped, "I… I needed you to leave… I needed to lose what meant the most to me to make me see… But god this is hard without you."

            "Willow… Please… I'm playing facilitator to help create this very strange and strained family unit. This is how I'm focusing my energy right now… This is what's getting me through all the hurt with you," Tara stated.

            "Tara I love you…I need…"

            The blond witch cut her off, "You took away my memory twice…both times you did it on purpose. The first time I told you it was a violation. The second time I left… You may be off magic, but I don't know that the same manipulative tendency isn't just under the surface… Gunn is here to help with Spike so I don't have to be here. That is how little I trust you right now. Do you understand?"

            Willow was in tears, "Will you ever trust me again?"

            Tara sighed, "I don't know… I'm seeing good examples of trust being gained… Lets leave it at maybe." The redhead nodded.

            Dawn heard the end of the conversation Willow and Tara were having. She may have been mad at Willow but she wanted things to go back to the way they were with the witches. "What's the matter, sweets?" Gunn asked.

            "Once trust is lost…its really hard to get back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            Buffy sat on the edge of Spike's bed as they shyly avoided looking at each other. Buffy wasn't going to move any closer then where she was at without an invitation. Spike glared at the ceiling arguing with himself. "Bloody hell," he finally muttered. Buffy cringed getting ready to bolt. "Buffy," he said quietly getting her to slowly look at him. "Come here," he said opening his arms a little to her. 

            She stared for a moment then crawled close to him. He settled her head on his chest. Buffy clung to him like he was a life preserver. Spike hugged her back with on arm and petted her hair with the other. "Thank you," she whispered being to close to tears to do anything else. "Thank you for letting me be close to you."

            He sighed deeply, relishing the feeling of her in his arms. Nothing more then holding each other, that was what he wanted right now. Spike kissed the top of her head and said, "Thank you for your patience."

            "You waited for me for over a year… I can wait too," she said quietly, "especially if you let me hold you…you let me love you. Something I know I never let you do for me… I messed up so…"

            "Don't pet…Don't," he interrupted. "We both screwed up… I just called it quits for real before you did. You would have eventually… We probably hurt each other a lot more before we got there."

            "But you tried to save me… from myself," she whispered into his chest.

            "And I also pushed you to be in the dark because I wanted to keep you with me… and away from your friends," he said stroking her hair. "I was being the evil thing you thought I was." Buffy began to cry. "Hey now… none of that. I don't know what to do when you cry."

            Buffy chuckled, "No man does…"

            Spike pulled her face up to his, "Yep… No man knows how the handle the tears of the woman he loves." She gulped at his admission but mainly at his delivery. Very sweetly and gently Spike leaned in and kissed her lips. One kiss…very brief but it meant so much. Buffy didn't push and Spike didn't continue so she snuggled back into the crook of his neck. 

            "I love you," she whispered. 

            "I love you too pet."

            "Can we stay here for a while? Just like this?"

            "Yes… Nap would probably do us both good," he suggested. 

            "Agreed."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            Dawn spent the afternoon dragging Gunn from place to place and friend's house to friend's house. Gunn soon tired of the inane repetitive questions he was given. He saw some of the mother's cringe when he held Dawn's hand or kissed her head. Adults were much easier to read prejudice in for some reason. 

            One mother asked him if he worked on cars or attended a vocational college. He said no that he worked for a private investigating company in LA. He handed her his card at which time she seemed to loose the ability to speak. 

            Dawn was playing the perfect fifteen year old. Completely oblivious to her surroundings and the discomfort Gunn was experiencing. She was giggling and whispering to her friends. At some point he was done. "Dawn… I'm going to let your friends catch up," he said sweetly and kissed her cheek before heading for the door.

            "Wait…" Dawn called. Her brow wrinkled as she came to talk to him. "Why are you leaving?"

            "Your friends mother is afraid to have me in the house for fear I'll steal something and your friends and you are just talking to each other… I don't feel like being's the pretty bird in the gilded cage anymore." Dawn just stared at him for a minute. "I know you haven't seen your friends so you have fun and I'll see about getting that stuff for Spike," he offered.

            "We were going to do that together," she complained.

            "Then I'll go for a walk then head back to your house."

            Dawn thought it over for a moment. "No… I can see them at school. I've only got you for a few days," she stated. "I'll just go say goodbye." Gunn nodded.

            When she told her friends she was leaving Emily said, "What's the matter? Tall, dark and handsome isn't comfortable?"

            Dawn got pissed, "No Em…he's not. When your mom acts like he has an underdeveloped brain because of the color of his skin, yeah I think he has a right to want to get the hell away from here… Bye to the rest of you. I'm going to spend time with my boyfriend where people won't think he's going to steal something."

            Gunn heard her little tirade and was touched. Fifteen years old and already regarded as a freak. She didn't need to be creating waves when she had two more years of high school to endure, and yet there she went slamming her friend's mom for her attitude. When they got outside Gunn caught Dawn up in a big hug. "What was that for?" she asked sweetly.

            "For coming to my defense."

            "Hey… Her mom's an idiot." 

            Gunn smirked at her then looked up to see the mother standing by the window watching. "Dawn, I'm going to kiss you heavily to entertain your friend's mother, okay?" 

            "Sounds like a plan to me." Gunn caressed her face they proceeded to kiss her thoroughly. When he looked up the mother was gone. "Wow," was all Dawn could mutter. "If I get kissed like that, bring on the idiot moms." Gunn laughed and walked his girl back to her house.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "Summers residence," Spike said answering the phone.

            "May I please speak to Buffy? This is Emily's mother!"

            "Is Dawn hurt?" he asked quickly. 

            "No…May I please speak to Buffy!" 

            "I'm sorry she's asleep. But if this is about Dawn you can talk to me."

            "Who are you?"

            Spike thought fast and said the first plausible thing that came to mind. "I'm Buffy's husband, William."

            "Husband?"

            "Yes… We eloped in LA. That's why we've all been gone," Spike stated.  _What the hell am I saying?!_

"Well fine… I don't know what kind of example you're setting for Dawn but she brought some guy into my house, she insulted me and my daughter, then proceeded to make out on my front lawn," the mother fumed.

            "You didn't like Charles? He's a very nice and likable guy," Spike said simply. 

            "I didn't talk to him that much."

            "Oh… I was under the impression that all the girls brought their boyfriends to your house," he said smoothly.

            "Normally they're from the school. I didn't know him."

            "I see… How did Dawn insult you?" 

            "What?"

            "How did she insult you? I'm trying to get all the information here."

            "She just did! And she made out with that… guy… on my lawn… in broad daylight."

Spike clicked his teeth, "Ma'am, I seriously doubt Dawn will ever be visiting your house again so you needn't worry."

            The mother seethed, "I want to know what you're going to do about what happen!"

            Then he just chuckled, "I'm not going to do anything… From what you've told me so far, you have a problem with the fact that Charles is black. Any display of affection that was committed on your front lawn was probably as a result of frustration over their time with you… Dawn will continue to date Charles until they see fit to break up and not because some narrow-minded people give them a hard time… I hope for Emily's sake she learns to see outside the boxes you've established for her. Have a nice day." Spike hung up the phone before the mother could say anything. 

He heard clapping at his side. He turned his head and saw Buffy smiling at him, "Way to go 'dad.' Way to stand up for your little girl."

            Spike smirked then suddenly realized he was going to have to share his lie with Buffy. "Um… Did you hear the whole conversation?" he asked.

            "No," she said yawning. "Just from Dawn wouldn't be going over there anymore."

            "Well see…she wanted to talk to you, but you were sleeping…" Buffy gave him a curious look. "So I told her I was your husband."

            "You did what?" she said with huge eyes.

            "It was the only way she would talk to me," he said with a slight whine.

            Buffy started laughing, "When did this happen supposedly?"

            "This week… We eloped in LA, that's why we were gone."

            "So… Do I get the skull ring back?" she asked playfully.

            "You're not mad," he said quietly.

            "I've been engaged to you before… Marriage doesn't seem that hard, especially with you living in the house," Buffy commented lightly touching his arm.

            "You know this might screw things up with Social Services," Spike said firmly.

            Buffy's eyes went big, "I hadn't even thought about what they'd say about a guy living here."

            "Cross that bridge when we come to it," he said kissing her head. "If worse comes to worse, we can have Angel forge a Marriage License for us." 

Buffy bit her lip. "Lets just get that done incase we have an unannounced visit soon."

"See there… Compromise… Working together… We'll make this work," Spike said holding her to his chest again. 

"Yeah… sure."

TBC…


	27. What's in a name?

Title: What's in a name?

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

A/N: There will be no wedding… I worked for the department of Juvenal probation. I know how much the United States government likes i's doted and t's crossed. I just wanted some insurance in Buffyverse for them from the people I used to work with.  

            "So what are we going to do about a name?" Buffy asked.

            "A name for what?" Spike countered.

            "Well for the fake certificate? Do you remember your last name?" Buffy said seriously.

            Spike became flustered. "I just assumed I'd become a Summers." Buffy looked at him weirdly. "That's not what I meant… no I guess that is what I meant… I always wanted to be part of the family… I'd want to be a Summers. Besides it will be easier with Dawn sighing her out of school if I need to and sighing report cards."

            "Okay… But you have to call Angel to ask for it," Buffy insisted.

            "No way… He's your ex."

            "Your grandsire… you've known him longer."

            Spike rolled his eyes, "Precisely why it would not be wise for me to ask."

            "Ask Angel what?" Gunn said from the door.

            Spike motioned him in. "Nice performance over at Emily's house… You want to sell tickets the next time you make out with my little girl!"

            Gunn gaped and made fish faces. He had no idea what to say. 'How on earth could he know anything about that?' Gunn thought. 

            "Emily's mother called to complain… I understand why you did it…but don't do it again!" Spike said firmly.

            Buffy looked at the boy and seized the opportunity. "Spike did something dumb… well not dumb, just not thought through. You could help us."

            "What is that?" Charles looked at Buffy curiously. 

            "Get us a fake marriage license… protection against Social Services."

            "Angel is not going to like this," the young man said.

            "He can't kill the messenger if it's you," Spike informed him. "Now me asking… He'd drive down here and throttle me, no matter how well we were getting along."

            "Okay… One condition…I say I came up with the idea so Dawn can stay with you. Anything else and someone is going to see part of Angelus…Agreed?"

            "Agreed," Spike and Buffy said in unison.

            "Okay so what state should you be married in…where…when…and what's the last name?" Gunn asked all the important questions.

            "California…LA… Last Friday…" Spike started to say.

            Gunn looked him in the eye, "You mean the Friday night you crushed Wesley's desk and smashed his wall?"

            Spike glared at him, "That's the one… And the last name will be Summers."

            Gunn sat shocked, "Man born in the 1800's and you want to take her name… I swear the apocalypse is coming."

            "Again?" Dawn said from the door.

            "Guess it's family time," Spike groaned.

            "Hey… Supposed to be happy to see me," Dawn pouted.

            "I am Bit," he said pulling her into his arms. "Its just…I'm getting hassled so bit testy."

            "GUNN…Stop it," the younger Summers scolded.

            "He's the one that wants a fake marriage license AND wants to take your last name… Sorry… Victorian man…its funny," Gunn responded.

            Dawn wrinkled her brow, "You're getting married? You can barely be in the same room together."

            "Not getting married… Creating a nice piece of paper that says we are married so nobody decides they can do a better job then us with you," Spike said simply. 

            "Whatever… You still have to create a last name for you to have had before you got married… You'll need things like a driver's license, social security card, birth certificate…" Dawn informed him.

            "Got it…" Spike said with great fervor. "You were doing genealogy project and met me through the website… We're no blood relation of course but…"

            "That is insane," Buffy snipped.

            "Okay then we at a conference… sat alphabetically and met that way."

            "You're really stuck on this Summers for life thing, huh?" the slayer asked.  

            "Otherwise I will feel weird about not giving you my name," Spike said quietly. 

            "What was your last name?" Dawn asked innocently. 

            "Ansley."

            "William Ansley," Dawn said aloud. "I like that." She smiled big. "Keep your name… Buffy can choose which she wants… It's not like she has a ton of ID's to change. She doesn't even have a driver's license."

            All eyes fell on Buffy. "Hey… We just started talking about this… Been Buffy Anne Summers my whole life. Need to think about changing it to Buffy Anne Summers Ansley… Buffy Ansley."

            Spike got terribly emotional as his 'family' discussed his name…taking his name. He wanted to weep when Buffy called herself Buffy Ansley. He swallowed hard a few times trying to shake off the feeling of joy and pain he had residing in his chest. 

Gunn noticed and pulled Dawn away saying, "Come be my back up when I ask Angel for the license. We don't have to worry what anyone will be called for the phone call."

Buffy continued to sit on Spike's bed completely lost in thought over her potential impending name change. "Buffy Anne Ansley… I'm Buffy Ansley," she said out loud. She twisted her face a bit. "They are two y endings."

"No one said you had to change anything pet," Spike said slowly looking away from her. "I can be a Summers…like I said."

She smiled at him. "No… This is cool… I don't have to be Buffy Summers, college-drop out with a great career in fast food ahead of her. I can be Buffy Ansley, married woman, college-drop out with a great career in fast food ahead of her." Spike twisted as if he were in pain. "Spike? What's wrong?"

His pain was palpable. "I don't want to do this," he whispered. "It's too much."

"Oh," Buffy let out a short cough. "Oh…Um… I thought since you… Never mind… I'll get Gunn to hang up."

            "No…" Spike said trying to breath evenly. "Emotions are a lot harder with the demon unhooked, Buffy… It makes me…" He continued to breath unevenly. "Please go before I do something I regret."

            She looked hurt, "What would you regret?"

            An animalistic growl emanated from his throat as he vamped out. Buffy's eyes went big with fear. "See," he snarled. "I am just a monster… I can smell your fear."

            'Now or never' she thought before doing something monumentally stupid. She ran her fingertips over his ridges on his brow. She caught his eyes before leaning up and kissing his demon-induced face. "I'm…not…scared…of …you," she whispered between kisses. She pulled back and looked into his yellow eyes and said, "I'm scared of what you're going to say. Just normal girlfriend afraid boyfriend is going to say something that's going to hurt a lot… that's all."

Spike sat for another minute in game face before shaking it off and looking at Buffy timidly. "Hearing you combine your name with mine was a little overwhelming… I just… It's so close Buffy… It hurts."

She nodded. "Dawn told me you'd spontaneously combust if you had to share one more intimacy with me right now… She's probably right… I can go…" Buffy said pointing to the door.

Spike swallowed his words. He wanted to say, 'that would be for the best' or 'please go.' No…He just sat there staring at her on his bed, in her…their home, and it was coming very close to being enough. Finally he looked down and said, "yeah…" He couldn't look at her as she left the room. He sucked air convulsively then grit his teeth trying to prevent the tears and the demon from spilling. 

The door opened a moment later and he knew it was Tara by here smell. "I want to claim her… with everything that I am I want her to be mine…always," he groaned staring at the far wall.

"It's okay to feel that way," she said soft and sweet. "You love her a great deal."

"It's because of the blood," Spike said as he gasped for air. "It was so close to mating… to being…"  
            Tara sat on the far side of the bed. "Have you told Buffy?"

"I can't… I can't explain why I'm denying myself and her."

"She may not understand that but she'd understand better why suddenly you get overwhelmed and need her to leave… You might also want to consider not thinking of it as the worst thing in the world."

Spike rolled over in annoyance. "You can't tell me your desire to move back in and carry on as if nothing happened, doesn't feel like the worst thing in the world!"

"No… I can't…" the blond said sadly.

"Tara…" Spike sighed. "What I want and what I need are two different things… If I were to claim her now, I would lose myself in her. I would lose the ability to take things slow."

"Okay… I'll tell her no more intimacy for a while. No choosing names together… though you did bring that one on yourself."

"I know… Tell her I'm sorry," he said pitifully. 

"No problem," Tara stated before she left the room. 

Buffy was standing in the living room wearing Spike's duster so her wouldn't pick up on her scent. Tara looked at her with a disapproving glare. She dragged the slayer upstairs. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" Tara demanded.

"I just need to know what was going on," Buffy said frustrated sinking don't into a chair in the kitchen. 

"It's going to be like this for a long while," Tara warned.

"I know."

"No throwing what you heard in his face!" the witch commanded.

"Got it," Buffy assured. "At least there's hope."

"There is hope… but be careful not to over step your bounds… I'll be watching." Buffy smiled at her friend's joke. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "Dawn!" Spike screamed up the stairs. A month had past and Spike was getting the hang of the parenting thing. He bounded up the stairs and banged on the door. "DAWN! Answer the door now or I'm picking the lock."

            No response. Spike picked the lock quickly to find Dawn's window open and her gone. "I'm going to kill her," Spike growled. 

            "Not in her room," Buffy said biting her lip.

            "No… Stay here… I'm going to find the little urchin."

Dawn walked crying through the street. Spike and she never fought. Not really. He always listened… Why didn't he listen? She kicked the rocks in front of her. She just wanted to go to LA to surprise Gunn. It wasn't a big deal. It was just for his birthday.

Spike stormed up and down streets on his motorcycle. Stupid surprise… Gunn was coming to visit for his birthday… Wesley gave him time off… It would be the first time they'd seen each other since Gunn helped Spike get around while he was injured. LilBit and he were going to have a serious talk about the way she takes off when she's angry. 

Shortly Spike pulled up beside Dawn on the street. She could tell he was ready to kill her. "Get on the bike!" he said in clipped English. Dawn got on. Neither said anything the entire ride. 

"Get inside!" Spike barked. Buffy saw the scene before her and sat back. Spike's fight with Dawn…he would finish it. 

"Now pick up the phone and call your boyfriend… You will tell him about our argument and what you just pulled… Do you understand?" the hostility in his voice was about at the same level it was the first night she had come back and he couldn't find Dawn. 

Dawn stared for a minute then picked up the phone and dialed. "Hi… Hi Gunn… um… I'm in a lot of trouble so just listen. I wanted to come visit you for a surprise for your birthday. Spike said I couldn't come… We fought…then I ran up stairs, got mad and climbed out my window and took off… I really don't know why I have to tell you all this…unless it's to let you know why you can't talk to me for a while."

Spike perched himself in the doorframe and waited. Dawn was listening to Gunn talk her eyes darting back and forth. Finally she heard something she didn't expect and locked eyes with Spike. He raised a knowing eyebrow at her before she clamped her eyes closed. Spike took the phone from her, "Sorry Gunn story time is over. Now Dawn is going to face the music."

"But…" was all Spike before he hung up the phone.

"Living room, now!" he ordered. 

Dawn sat down hard on the sofa biting her lip. "You were right… You won't be talking to him much in a while…or anyone else," Spike said in that controlled tone that reminded you what he had been. "I don't know what I'm going to do about the visit. I don't think it's fair to punish Gunn for your audacity but I'm not sure yet…" 

Spike leaned in close to her sitting on the coffee table. "You can't do that Bit. You're pissed…YOU CAN'T SPLIT… When things were bad, it was indulged because you were in pain… It doesn't cut it anymore."

Dawn looked annoyed, "If you would have just told me…"

Spike was on his feet, "NOT THE ISSUE! I told you no. You have to respect that… regardless the reason of why I said no… We aren't going through this every time you and I don't agree." He glared down at her, "You wanted a parent… You got it. Now if you ever slip out your window again…I'm boarding it up. You ever run away again… you're grounded until you're seventeen." Dawn nodded. " Okay then?" he sighed his tension out.

Dawn nodded again meekly. She stood looking down. "LilBit?" he said softly. She looked up and saw love in his eyes. He hugged her close. "You scared me… I love you… I don't want you getting hurt."

"I know… I'm sorry," she said in a small voice. "I love you too… No scaring the Big Bad." Spike held her tighter for a second then let her go. 

Dawn trotted up the stairs with Spike watching her go. "She won't disappear," Buffy said softly. 

"You did," he answered just as softly. "You were there one minute and gone the next."

Buffy and Spike had been living together for that same month and things had gone pretty smoothly with them too. Spike slowly started to trust Buffy more and more. But the closer it came to the anniversary of the day she had died, the worse the pain in his chest became. Their days were numbered and he didn't want to think of the time he wasted after she was taken from him again. 

He turned toward her slowly, reaching out to stroke her cheek. She reveled in the small intimacies they did share. The way he stroked her cheek was one of her favorites. "Want to go to a movie with me on Friday night?" Spike asked in a small voice.

She smiled at him, "I'd like that."

TBC…

A/N: Next chapter will be the last… Just a warning… I have the coolest way to end this. I'm so excited. It came to me and I almost didn't give you shippers any resolution to the Buffy/ Spike tension. 


	28. School's hard

Title: School's hard

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Life at the Summers household was surprisingly quiet. Gunn had come visit for his birthday after all. Dawn felt like a real idiot for throwing a fit that she couldn't go to LA when Spike was just trying to honor her boyfriend's request to surprise her with his visit. 

Dawn was paroled for the spring dance that she was so excited about. Gunn was willing to come for the occasion even though it was a high school dance. Angel had been really cute about the whole thing. He told Gunn all about the one school dance he had gone to with Buffy even though they were broken up. Gunn was subjected to listening to the story in annoyance since there was no real useful information involved. The only good part was watching Wesley and Cordelia squirm over their interactions at the same said dance. 

Buffy and Spike were doing relatively good for parents of a teenager. They were managing Dawn and vampires pretty well. Social Services didn't do much digging so the phony marriage was accepted and some of the heat on them lightened up. Willow had moved into the dorm leaving the largest bedroom open again. It became Buffy's for Social Services visits.

On a personal level, Spike was true to his word about taking things slowly. Buffy thought it was slower then snails since she ended up in a cold shower each night they spent too much time together whether that be from patrolling or sitting on the sofa watching TV together. Spike too was living in the land of the cold shower but he needed them to be that way for the time being. 

Buffy and he had a few successful dates where he paid, they went out to eat or to a movie. They talked a lot more then they used to and even managed to spar with one another without falling to the ground and screwing each other's brains out, though there were those moments where they both really wanted to. 

There had been a lull in all things vampiric which was, of course, an indication that something bad was about to happen. Gunn arrived in Sunnydale with no problem and took Buffy's old room for the weekend. Dawn was convinced she could bypass the whole 'no boy in bedroom rule' by going into the room he was staying in. Gunn, who knew better, quickly nixed the idea. 

"DAWN!!!" Buffy yelled up the stairs. "Your date has been sitting here waiting for you for too long now… He drove from LA for this so don't make him wait any longer."

"Come on Bit… Now you're messing with Buffy and my date," Spike shouted. "I want to be sure we get a good seat."

Buffy looked at him confusedly, "There's a good seat at a monster truck race."

"Woman! Of course there is," he snipped back.

"You two sound more and more like an old married couple as the days go by," Dawn said descending the stairs in the cream colored dress Buffy had killed the Master in. What she didn't have in the chest she made up for in the legs causing Gunn to drool. 

Spike sidled up to Gunn. "Put your eyes back in their sockets and don't get any ideas about breaking any of the rules tonight. Got it?" he growled in a low whispered.

"Got it…" he murmured and went to Dawn giving her a corsage and everything. 

Buffy's eyes teared up. "What pet?" he asked wrapping his arms around her middle from behind. 

The slayer slightly smirked, "Perfect teenage moment… I'm glad she gets them."

Spike bit his lip. Buffy didn't get enough of those. He kissed the back of her head. "Go upstairs and put on a dress for the dance."

She flipped around in his arms. "You're kidding right?"

"No, I'm not… You were already set for our date just go change clothes."

"What happened to patrolling before hand?" Buffy asked nervously as Gunn and Dawn tried to figure out what was going on. 

"Night off," he kissed the tip of her nose.

"What's going on?" Dawn asked. 

"This is becoming a family affair," Spike said simply. "You two run along and I will try to get your sister there for a short time… I promise to leave you alone," he stated when Dawn looked like she would object.

Buffy looked at her sister nervously. Dawn just smirked at her. "What are you waiting for? You're making your date wait," she taunted. Gunn nodded in agreement. 

"I can't believe I'm doing this," the slayer muttered trudging up the stairs. 

Spike smiled and Dawn. "Thanks Bit… We won't stay long."

"Giving her back some of the things she lost saving this world from beasties… I get it… Just don't dance too close and don't embarrass me," Dawn instructed.

"Not a problem… Now get a move on. I need to change."

"Oh… You know this is like dressy, right?" the teen said.

"No problem."

"I've never seen you dressy," Dawn said queerly.

"Yeah you have," Gunn interjected. "Three piece suit to visit your dad in LA, remember?"

Dawn smiled. "Buffy is going to die… Hurry… And don't slick your hair back. Buffy really likes it when it's curly on top."

"You're kidding?" Spike stared at her. 

"Not a bit… Bye… See you soon."

Spike rushed down the stairs to his room and pulled out his suit. "You will have to do for the evening," he commented. "But first…" he walked to the bathroom and ran his hair under the water faucet to get the junk out of it. A quick towel drying of his hair, he hoped Buffy would like it. He slipped into the clothes and rushed back up the stairs. 

"Spike?" Buffy called down from the upper level hall. 

"Yeah luv."

"I'm coming down, but I warn you my zipper is stuck so you'll have to finish it," she said simply.

"Hormones in check… I want to get you to the dance remember?" he said as she slowly descend the stairs. She was wearing a violet colored dress he had never seen before. He swallowed on instinct and coughed. "Parking afterwards is optional." She looked at him with shy eyes as his fingers lightly brushed down her arms to turn her around. Then there were cold fingers on her primarily bare back. "There you go luv," he choked out just barely. 

She turned around and faced him. "I like the suit… wasn't sure you owned one."

"Visit with your dad made it necessary," Spike said lightly. 

"Right…" Buffy smiled as she noticed his hair. She reached up and fixed a couple pieces sticking up in odd directions. When she leaned away she said, "I like."

"Dawn…" he pointed to his hair. "Said you might."

"I'll have to thank her."

"Why? I'm the one running my head under the bleeding water."

"I hope the water wasn't bleeding. The last time I saw that it was on a dance night… the Master rose… killed me… and got mouth to mouth from Xander. Not an all around good evening," Buffy stated.

"I'd say it was good… You came back and you killed him," Spike said wrapping his arms around her from behind again. 

"I also left an opening for you."

"That too… Come on pet… Time to go."

The new Sunnydale High was a little cooler then the one Buffy blew up. Unfortunately she had no idea where anything was which bothered her. Spike held her hand and said, "Relax luv… Here for a good time. Nothing's going to happen."

"Right… That's why several of my school events were interrupted by demons, vampires, hellhounds, and flying monkeys," she said annoyed. 

"Come on," he tugged at her.

The gym was set up for the dance beautifully. "Now don't blow the place up," Spike instructed. "That would qualify as embarrassing Bit… Who is where?"

"Look for Gunn's bald head," Buffy stated.

Spike scanned the crowd. "There they are," he said motioning to Buffy. 

"They're cute," she said softly. 

"They're supposed to be. They're young."

"He's older then me," Buffy reminded him.

"You're young and cute," Spike said kissing the tip of her nose. "Spunky too." She just chuckled into his chest.

"Are Buffy and Spike here yet?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah… Cuddling nicely," Gunn responded. "I'm glad they're doing this… I think stuff like this will help her depression."

"I just have to remember that when I get the inclination to fuss about it being my turn…" Dawn swallowed. "She really didn't get much of a turn."

"Well know for certain she will do anything to make sure you get the most of yours," Gunn said giving his girl a squeeze. 

"I'll remember that."

Suddenly the gym lights went off and somebody screamed. Spike and Buffy looked at each other. "Vampires," they said in unison both sensing their presence. 

"How many?" Buffy asked.

"I count ten… Bloody Hell those are just the ones guarding those doors."

"We're going to have to split up," the slayer stated. 

"Weapons?"

"Find Gunn."

"Right."

Buffy went to the wooden drink table and turned it over breaking off each of its legs. There were some gas lanterns to light the food area. Buffy dismantled one lamp poured the oil on the end of the table leg and lit it on fire. "Now we're talking," she muttered. 

Spike looked over to see Buffy handling the flaming stake. "That's my girl," he smiled as she attacked the vampires closest to her. 

Gunn and Buffy had forced Dawn to carry a few stakes in her purse in case something odd happened. Dawn, Spike and Gunn met up at the table where her stuff was. "Other weapons?" Gunn asked.

"Other suit," Spike said snidely. "Buffy's handling the back door. Hopefully we can get the people outside." 

"Why is this happening?" Dawn fussed.

"Because this is Sunnydale, Bit."

Gunn and Spike each fought well taking out several vampires while Dawn and Buffy handled the other door. They shuffled people out the exit Buffy had cleared with good old-fashioned trial by fire. "Dawn, see how Gunn and Spike are doing," Buffy instructed. 

            The teen made her way across the dance floor toward the fighting. Spike had just discovered the fire axe on the wall when Dawn was caught by the throat. 

            "What a pretty little thing? You're the slayer's sister aren't you? Let's see if that slayer blood lingers in you," the vampire cooed. Dawn was too shocked and scared to do anything. 

            Suddenly the vampire went flying having been hit in the head with the fire axe that Spike wielded. The blond vampire stood over this stupid new vampire master.  "You get the hell away from my daughter!" he yelled as he brought the axe down beheading him. 

            Spike froze for a moment and thought, "Well wasn't that ironic!"

The END

Sequel? 


End file.
